PART TWO Alicia is arriving at 4.00pm. I've noticed that 4.00pm is a popular time to bring in a new foster child. There are so many subtle things in fostering. If the 4.00pm drop-off is a preferred practice I can only guess as to why it works.  The social workers (one from the local authority - who are overall guardians of the child) plus a Blue Sky social worker (supporting us - the foster parents) usually devote a full hour to the handover. Then, at somewhere between 5.00pm and 6.00pm, they leave. And, until you get the first phone call from Blue Sky the next morning to see how things a ..read more

 Had an interesting fostering day. PART ONE Got a call from Blue Sky; "Would I consider taking a child who…?" On the phone I got a thumbnail of the child. I said my usual 'definite maybe'. Blue Sky sent the paperwork. The child is Alicia, previously known as Troy. No problem so far, although she/he would be my first foster child aiming to transition. Alicia is 14 and has suffered neglect and abuse. Alicia had been left to fend for themself in their home since toddlerhood; scrounging food however they could, keeping themselves hidden from the adults who roamed the house day and night. BTW ..read more

 Just done a useful Blue Sky training session on managing allegations. Until Covid, training sessions would be held at one of Blue Sky's offices, and that still goes on. Being in a room with fellow fostering folk can be really enjoyable, if you're a people watcher. Which I am. Obviously I don't allow my curiosity about the other people in the room to get in the way of the learning. And managing allegations is such an important topic, you want to stay focussed. But. Sometimes the leader asks us to give a brief description of ourselves. I often start with my staple; "My name is ****. I've b ..read more

 We've just had a child stay with us for a couple of weeks.  A rare duration for a foster placement in my experience, but his was an unusual story. We got the call on a Friday afternoon.  Blue Sky said that the local authority was looking for a short-term foster home for a 14-year-old boy whose foster mother had been rushed to hospital. The boy had arrived home to discover his foster mum on her bed. The poor woman was in pain, there was blood. He phoned 999 and she was hospitalised. The paramedics learned that the woman was single and that the boy was her foster son, and that he ..read more

 For me, one of the biggest moments in fostering is when a new child arrives and the Social Workers leave. Until the professionals say their goodbyes, we foster parents have a bunch of good people in our house working on the placement. What usually happens is this. Having agreed to take a child arrangements are made to bring the child to our house. Blue Sky send one of theirs; usually the Social Worker who's going to be attached to us and the placement. The local authority's Social Worker, who've sought a home for the child, and whose ultimate responsibility is for the child, arrive in a ..read more

 In fostering you get quiet moments. Not a lot of them, but by golly they're welcome. Fostering is hectic enough without us foster parents keeping up the pressure on oursleves when we get the house to ourselves or some other breather from the hurley-burley. You have to make the most of "me-time" when it comes along. Blue Sky are always advising us foster parents to look after ourselves, because, they say, if we foster parents aren't at the top of our game our fostering won't be at its best. I seem to use our kitchen table as my oasis. When I've got everyone to school I make myself a cup o ..read more

 We foster parents are expected to provide our foster kids with their "Basic Needs". The"Basic Needs" as set out by a revered expert called Maslow. The most basic of basic needs - the bottom layer of the heirarchy Maslow says - are; food, water, warmth and rest. After providing those we provide the next layer; security and safety. And so it goes up to the top of the heirarchy of needs. The top layer is where we help the child achieve "self-actualisation", meaning that they fulfill their potential. But to start, we provide the most basic needs. And it's always chimed with my experience tha ..read more

 Children in care need their phones. Look, I know all about the potential pitfalls, I've attended more Blue Sky training sessions on IT and mobile phones than you can shake a stick at. On top of what I've learned I use my own native intelligence to keep our foster children safe. But; make no mistake. They NEED their phones. They need them big time. So as foster parents, working with our Social Workers, we have to find what the professionals call a pathway to what they call best practice. Gary is eleven, and when he came to us the had his own phone. Younger children sometimes have teddy be ..read more

Fostering is wonderful in many ways, but it does make you softer, I think. You give a bit more to the poor homeless person in the shop doorway, buy a spongee you don't need from the lad who rings your doorbell saying he's just out of remand and trying to go straight. A while ago we took in a tiny little dog that no-one wanted. She's dying, basically. But we're all comforting her and trying to make her last months here not too bad. Blue Sky waived their normal dog vetting procedures, the little mutt has no teeth left. BS have a heart too. Our foster kids are, I think, touchen bu this basic huma ..read more

 It's been an interesting couple of days. Mind, I could probably describe any 'couple of days' in fostering as 'interesting'. You don't get bored when you foster. No siree. What happened was this; My phone rang and I could see from the screen it was Blue Sky. Joy of joys it was their Placement people calling to ask the golden question: "Would you consider taking a child who…" I've had my phone light up with Blue Sky asking this question countless times (a hundred maybe..) and it never ceases to quicken the pulse. During the quick call - and it's quick - the potential foster parent is give ..read more