When your religion does not honor the work of art that you are or makes you believe that parts of yourself are ugly, it might be time to hit the road. Harsh but true. It’s not selfish, it’s survival. (Get a print of Sophia "I Needed To Leave" by clicking on the image, or HERE.) But leaving your religion is no small feat. You have to knock down and take apart your entire foundation and support structure.  But leaving your religion is no small feat. You have to knock down and take apart your entire foundation and support structure. (Click on image or HERE for a print of Sophia "Deconstruc ..read more

While I was recently reading a book on narcissism because I realized someone in my life was probably one, it suddenly dawned on me that what I was reading reminded me of my relationship with the church. Now, for a disclaimer, I will admit this does not apply to all individual churches. However, I do believe the system of the church is prone to narcissism, and that it takes Herculean effort to prevent the church from being and acting narcissistic, along with its leaders. Yes, I do believe the gravitational pull of all systems is towards supreme concern for itself over all other concerns. In a s ..read more

I just finished an excellent book on narcissism by Dr. Ramani Durvasula, It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People. It was an urgent read for me because I finally realized that one of my so-called close relationships was probably with a narcissist. Reading this book confirmed it for me. He’s definitely a narcissist. So I wrote a letter to my email subscribers, and I thought I would share it with you now. (Hey... while we're here, sign up for my weekly newsletter!) Here it is:  Do you have a narcissist in your life that you are forced to deal with? Sudde ..read more

It was in 1980 when I first heard Canadian singer-songwriter Bruce Cockburn. I hadn’t heard of him before, being pretty sheltered in the Christian culture I was cocooned in. A friend gave me his album “Dancing in the Dragon’s Jaws”, after Lisa and I were first married. I had this immediate sense that we were soulmates. I felt we were very much on the same page, and I wondered if maybe one day we would be friends. Impossible! Right? Him a Canadian icon and then little ol’ me. Fast forward 40 years, at the beginning of COVID, and I get a suspicious email from a woman claiming to be a follower ..read more

Ever since I can remember, my creativity got me in trouble.  Because my creativity is the expression of my authentic self. Again, like I keep talking about, I just wanted to be me. The problem is that I wanted to be loved too. But I’m realizing I’ve succeeded in being my authentic self… at least at this moment… and I’m loved as well. So, as Rubin says,  "I didn’t always fit in, I broke away from convention, and I created spaces where I could be free to express myself." All the way from my childhood when my teacher wrapped my knuckles with her ruler for not sharpening my pencil ..read more

  In 2009 I had a dream that relieved my theological anxiety and brought peace: "There is a huge waterfall. Oceans of water pour over the rim of the cliff. The water tumbles down and explodes at the bottom. The deluge spreads over the land covering and consuming everything." "There is a huge waterfall. Oceans of water pour over the rim of the cliff." We can't see above the rim, but we can guess that it is an infinite source. There is no proof. Only evidence. We can't even say it exists. We just know it must be. It is. This is That-Which-We-Call-God, the Absolute, the Source, Wholly Other ..read more

Religious PTSD is real.  Spiritual abuse is a thing. Hopefully, these cartoons will create more awareness.  But what exactly is spiritual abuse? Any attempt to exert power and control over someone using religion, faith, or beliefs can be spiritual abuse. Spiritual abuse can happen within a religious organization or a personal relationship. Hardly Laid A Finger On You Cartoon Some think abuse is just violent treatment of another person. But when people’s freedoms are restricted or violated, this is a subtle form of abuse. It’s violence against the human spirit. Li ..read more

When I was considering leaving the ministry and the church, I felt incredibly guilty. You probably feel guilty just reading this, am I right? Put down the hot cup of guilt for a minute and hear me out. I’ve been there, done that, got the T-shirt (literally).  Questions are natural. They will arise in the mind. Sure, there is one part of the mind, the fearful part, that wants to conform, fall in line, obey, and not stand out. However, there is another part of us, the wise part, that hungers for truth.  Most of us are afraid to question our religion. Because our belief system is often ..read more

Many of us who grew up in purity culture struggle with feeling good about our bodies and our desires, and feeling liberated in our sex lives. I think physical intimacy and sex should be fun. Purity culture does its best to prevent that from happening. So, if you’ve grown up in purity culture, you know this, and you want to break free from it, I have some advice. From the beginning, when I talk about sex, I’m talking about consensual sex. (Get a digital download of this cartoon by clicking on it or HERE.) First of all, you need to fill your mind with other ideas about sex other than what purit ..read more

This couple has a story. They were young believers. They fell in love. They got married. Then they started… oh no… deconstructing! That is… their beliefs started changing. (Get a digital download of this cartoon by clicking on the image or HERE.) They were still in love, but things had become challenging. Their relationship wasn’t as easy as before. There were questions, awkward moments and silences, arguments, confusion, disappointment, and fear. Sometimes they wondered if they were going to make it. They realize they were in a kind of mixed marriage because they didn’t believe the same. Th ..read more