Dear Alyson, After seeing the images of the flooding in Vancouver, my 12-year-old was really upset. He has been concerned about the things he is learning about climate change, but now his worries seem to be at a whole new level. Is this what’s being called “eco-anxiety”? I am trying to help him work through his fears, but he does have legitimate reasons to be concerned. I don’t want to lie to him, but I also don’t want him to be stressed and anxious all the time. How can I help him? Signed, Worried Mom Dear Worried Mom, It’s hard to be a parent and watch your children suffer with difficult tho ..read more

Quick question for you….  How do I get the grandparents to stop spoiling my kids? I really don’t like over-consumption and commercialism.   These are important values I want to pass on to my kids, but I can’t get my parents to stop buying them things whenever we are together.  And with Christmas coming up, I really feel I have to put my foot down.  Would it be wrong to say that if they don’t follow the way I want to raise my kids and stop buying for them, that I will simply take the gifts back or donate them?   ( anonymous)   Dear Anonymous,   I hope you ..read more

Hi Alyson,   My 16 year old son is back to in person learning, but he has not got his mojo back.  Before the pandemic he was a B+ A- student.  I never really worried about his schoolwork.   Now he does nothing.  The teacher emails me to say he has not handed in any assignments. When I ask him about his homework, he says he doesn’t have any, or he is on top of it.  He doesn’t want me in his business but he is going to fail courses if he stays on this path. What can I do?   Concerned Dad   Dear Concerned Dad,   So many of our students lost motiva ..read more

My strong willed 6 year old keeps undoing her car seat buckle when we are driving. She refuses to leave it alone and I end up yelling at her to do it back up.  I have to drop her off at school in September and I don’t want to have this fight every morning.   Help!   Hi Help,   Sounds like  you are locked in a power struggle with her.  Her defiance makes you angry and she defeats you because you have no control or ability to stop her from unbuckling!  So, when it’s a power struggle; you want to make sure you don’t win (scream at her until she obeys) nor l ..read more

Choose ears over fears this summer: Part 2   Check out Part 1 of this post on why my advice to parents this summer is to choose ears over fears.   Taking a cue from the Earth Rangers 5 E’s to drive eco-action and reduce eco-anxiety, here are some specific ideas for practicing listening, getting outside, alleviating fears, and finding stability this summer:   Build EXCITEMENT using your family calendar: post a family calendar for the summer months so your children can visually see the time passing and see what events they have coming up.  Anxiety is reduced when we can anti ..read more

Choose ears over fears this summer: Part 1 Anxiety rates among children have soared during the pandemic, and my private counselling practice has had a wait list this entire time.  Some of this has been driven by fear of the COVID virus, but for many, it is the compounding of stressors that has amplified all types of anxiousness.  Students who worry before taking a test suffered more, children with separation anxiety were clingier, parents with generalized anxiety were jumpier, and kids with “eco-anxiety” fretted more about climate change and animal extinction.   My advice to par ..read more

Hi Alyson, How do you feel about summer school?  Do the kids need to use this time to get caught up on lost learning? Or you do think they just need some down time? Signed, Conflicted Mom.     Hi Conflicted Mom,   I don’t know your particular child and how stressed they were with school this year, or how far behind they got, so I am answering this question in a way that benefits all the readers who are wondering about my position on this.   Generally speaking – I dislike the idea of sending kids to school in the summer months.  Our culture already has an exag ..read more

My 12 year old hurls the most foul insults at us when he is angry and it has to stop! I am worried his 8 year brother is learning terrible words and behaviours from his brother who he looks up to.  I was thinking of taking away his tech time – but during a pandemic I thought that was too harsh, so thought we might try a “swear jar” where you charge them money for swearing and collect it in a jar.  Thoughts?   Concern Dad,   Dear Concerned Dad.   Has the swear jar worked yet?  I have not heard of anyone having success with it.  When kids are so angry and dysre ..read more

May has arrived and in Toronto where I live, we are stuck in the middle of the pandemic’s third wave. Morale seems to be at an all-time low.  I am sure you’re exhausted of coming up with new things to do, but if we are gonna get a little happy spark back into the humdrum lives of our family – here are some ways that should help:   Novelty: Break up the monotony by doing something novel every day.  It could be as simple as serving pancakes for dinner,  walking the dog around the block in the other direction, or trying a new brand of toothpaste.  Shake SOMETHING up.&nbs ..read more

Here are some handy tips to help de-clutter your kids play room since many of you will be in the mood for spring cleaning. Make it a fun shared activity with the kids.Kids like to help and have a say in the decision making. Plan ahead, instead of springing the idea on them. Some kids might need time to get their head around the idea of saying good-bye to some of their toys. Show them “before and afters” pictures from the internet of how great a room can look after it’s been de-cluttered and organized. It can be inspirational to think how tidy and inviting their play room will be! Let them kno ..read more