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NewsThump
3,569 FOLLOWERS
NewsThump is one of the UK's fastest growing humour websites providing a daily satirical take on current affairs from around the globe, only without the facts.
NewsThump
10h ago
Libtard virtue-signaller Simon Williams cynically held open the door for the woman behind him purely to show how virtuous he is, according to reports this afternoon ..read more
NewsThump
13h ago
In a display of unparalleled nationalistic hubris, 53-year-old Simon Williams is gearing up to enthusiastically celebrate the victories of British athletes he’s never heard of, in sports he didn’t know existed, as the 2024 Paris Olympics get underway ..read more
NewsThump
13h ago
The CEO of leading water company, Bastard Water, has suggested that there is a good chance that bills for customers may have to rise by several hundred per cent ..read more
NewsThump
2d ago
Team GB could lose their place in the Olympic dressage event after doping tests came back positive for use of a pantomime horse ..read more
NewsThump
2d ago
Manchester Police have responded to the video of an officer kicking a man in the head while he was on the ground, by insisting it only happened because there were no convenient stairs to throw him down ..read more
NewsThump
2d ago
Rage-filled nationalists who can only find sexual release through the worship of symbols triggered by the sporting prowess of total strangers, have confirmed that they have stopped jizzing on the England flag and are now rubbing themselves raw on the UK’s standard ..read more
NewsThump
2d ago
The mother of three children from Surrey has claimed that their special summer holiday day out to a local stately home and its well-kept gardens 'is a day that they’ll never forget ..read more
NewsThump
2d ago
A car wash boss in Essex has given his workers more than ten minutes off as a thank-you for cleaning over a million pounds of cash 'left to him by his grandmother ..read more
NewsThump
3d ago
Dressage horse Ned the horse has been named as the first contestant in this year’s Strictly Come Dancing series, after leaving the Olympics because the trainers are so mean ..read more
NewsThump
3d ago
The government has suspended seven rebel MPs who voted in favour of policies Labour governments are supposed to support ..read more