DAD TRUTHS: AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER TODAY
Dad and Buried
by Dad and Buried
2M ago
As you may know, I have a book coming out on April 2nd. It’s called Dad Truths: The Good, The Bad, and The Exhausting from the Frontlines of Parenting. You can even pre-order it RIGHT HERE! I say “may” know because there’s a chance you have no idea I wrote a book that will be coming out next spring (just in time for Father’s Day!). And that’s because I am not good at self-promotion. If you subscribe to my Substack and/or follow me on Instagram, you probably already know that Dad Truths exists. But just in case, I’ll lay it all out for you here. It comes out next April, you can pre-order it RIG ..read more
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Destructive Criticism
Dad and Buried
by Dad and Buried
1y ago
I’m terrible at accepting compliments of any kind, but none make me more uncomfortable than those that praise my parenting. They make me feel like a fraud. Because despite how enlightened I may seem, and despite the love I have for my kids, I am not a good dad. I’m around and I’m involved, but being around and involved is the easy part. The days getting credit for the bare minimum are long gone. When it comes to everything else, and especially when it comes to helping imbue my oldest with the self-confidence every kid needs – especially kids whose differently-wired brains are constantly making ..read more
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Executive Dysfunction
Dad and Buried
by Dad and Buried
1y ago
Last week, I cleaned out my 11yo’s backpack. Hold me. The experience has me shook, and not just in the typical “middle-schoolers are disgusting” way (though he definitely is.) It’s actually got me worried about his future. When Detective Munch was diagnosed with ADHD, @momandburied and I were introduced to so-called “executive functions,” i.e., adaptable thinking, planning, self-monitoring, self-control, working memory, time management, and organization. We learned that ADHD interferes with those skills, which are essential to the everyday self-regulation most of us take for granted ..read more
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Hammer Time!
Dad and Buried
by Dad and Buried
1y ago
I wasn’t sure I wanted a second kid. Today, that second kid turns 6. I definitely didn’t want a large age gap between my kids. He was born more than 5 years after my first. I also wanted a girl. My new 6-year-old is boy #2. Welp. Plans are stupid. Expectations are stupider. (Yes I know it’s not a word, get off me!) Years back, I wrote a blog post about how, despite my anxiety and trepidation about having another kid, none of that mattered once he was born. The stress didn’t go away, obviously. Honestly, it probably got worse! Money got tighter, space got smaller, the future became even more f ..read more
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The First One Goes To Eleven
Dad and Buried
by Dad and Buried
1y ago
My first kid was supposed to be born on my birthday. Instead, Detective Munch landed six days later – the day before my anniversary. Disrupting things since day one. Today, he turns 11, and 9 years after I wrote a blog post called “Top Ten Reasons Why I Hate My Son” (see my stories), he’s still ruining my life. But as he’s developed into a full-fledged human being with a personality, opinions, and interests of his own, the ways he ruins my life have changed. He still reorders my priorities. He still makes everything harder, and better (except movies; holy shit bro can you stop talking for two ..read more
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“Supposed To” Doesn’t Exist
Dad and Buried
by Dad and Buried
1y ago
There’s no such thing as “supposed to.” Recently, I wrote about @momandburied’s anxiety. One of the things that feeds it is the fear that she’s not doing enough and hasn’t accomplished things she’s “supposed to” have accomplished. That’s bullshit. Not only is she holding herself to imaginary standards, but many of these expectations were created in a vacuum, before she had kids, before she had multiple sclerosis, before the damn pandemic! There’s no such thing as “supposed to.” No one is keeping score of our lives, and if someone were, they wouldn’t just be marking down the ways we fall short ..read more
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Winter Break
Dad and Buried
by Dad and Buried
1y ago
Sometimes you just need a change of scenery. After the year from hell, with everyone stuck at home 24/7/365, with limited entertainment options aside from the TV and our phones, escaping the four walls within which we’ve all been spending almost all of our time was more crucial than ever. Especially in the middle of winter when fresh air is less appealing than usual. So last month, when my kids’ winter break hit, we got out of dodge. In a Chevy. Contrary to popular opinion, I don’t get a ton of perks from my life as a high-profile fashion (nope), lifestyle (nope), and parenting (sort of?) infl ..read more
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The Work Is Not Done
Dad and Buried
by Dad and Buried
1y ago
I wrote this last summer, the day this incredible photo of Brooklyn’s Black Trans Lives Matters march was taken. It’s Black History Month so I thought I’d share it again. ⁣ We were leaving our friends’ and couldn’t remember where we’d parked. We stopped at a corner to get our bearings when someone called to me.⁣ ⁣ “Sir, this is my bike!”⁣ ⁣ He was 100 feet away, using a power tool to try to get a bicycle off a pole; I’d barely noticed him. But he’d noticed me.⁣ ⁣ “It’s my bike!”⁣ ⁣ I was confused, until I realized he was scared. Because he’s black.⁣ ⁣ In the middle of freeing his bike, which ..read more
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High Anxiety
Dad and Buried
by Dad and Buried
1y ago
I don’t suffer from anxiety. I stress and worry but, for whatever reason, it doesn’t consume me. I’m lucky that way. When I go to sleep, I put my head down and simply go to sleep. It usually happens quickly, much to Mom and Buried’s envy. She does have anxiety. Her anxiety is exacerbated by the physical challenges of multiple sclerosis and the so-called “mom brain” that races with schedules, to-do lists, and more. These things keep her up at night and weigh her down during the day. The pandemic doesn’t help. Neither does parenthood. Covid has tested everyone’s mental health, including our kids ..read more
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A Bike for All Seasons
Dad and Buried
by Dad and Buried
1y ago
When I was growing up, all I did was ride my bike. We had a little path behind my house that stretched through my neighborhood, connecting all of my friends houses via a carved out trail for bike-riding, and nearly every day would find me and my friends hanging out back there, on “The Path” (we weren’t very creative). When we weren’t doing that, we were riding across town to visit the mall, or hang out at the local Caldor, or to stock up on candy at Wanda’s Sugar Shack. No helmets, no adult supervision, no rules. We were 80s kids, and we loved it! It’s been 30 years since I had a bike, and now ..read more
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