Navy Captain sacked for misplacing confidence
The Duffel Blog
by Adrian DeRyder
4d ago
Capt. Roger “Rusty” Annkor departs the USS Stout after “losing confidence in my ability to lead” NORFOLK, VA — Yet another Navy commanding officer has joined the ranks of those relieved for cause. In a break with naval tradition, in which a flag officer typically ends a subordinate officer’s career with vague assertions of a “loss of trust and confidence in the ability to command,” Capt. Roger “Rusty” Annkor abruptly removed himself from command of Destroyer Squadron Two, citing having misplaced his confidence in his own leadership abilities. Capt. Annkor, a veteran surface warfare officer o ..read more
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Marines surveyed about quality of life agree they would like some
The Duffel Blog
by Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh
6d ago
An MV22 attempts to escape after crashing into an Amphibious Assault Vehicle THE PENTAGON, Washington D.C. — Marine Corps leaders are analyzing the results of a Corps-wide quality of life assessment initiated in response to concerns that perhaps Marines aren’t having the positive life-changing experiences promised by recruiters. Facing everything from retention challenges to a spate of recent training-related deaths, improving the quality of life for the average Marine has been a consistent message from the Commandant of the Marine Corps, Gen. Eric Smith. Smith first announced the improvemen ..read more
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Retired 4-stars occupy campus of Marine Corps University
The Duffel Blog
by Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh
1w ago
Marine Corps University awash in golf shirt clad protestors QUANTICO, VA— With the refrain, “From our board rooms to the sea, Force Design makes us seethe!” echoing across the Potomac, Marine Corps University (MCU) joined the ranks of institutions of higher learning occupied by raucous protestors. But while Columbia University activists chant in solidarity with puckish hostage-taking and mild rape, MCU’s dissidents are raising their voices against the institution they once led. “Force Design has wrecked the Marine Corps and we’ve said so for years!” shouted retired Gen. Charles Krulak from a ..read more
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Terminally ill vet gets wish to jerk it one last time in Iraq
The Duffel Blog
by Duffel Blog Staff
1w ago
Respect the process: please don’t knock. WASHINGTON D.C. – In a heartwarming tale of determination and nostalgia, terminally ill veteran Sgt. Max Johnson achieved his final wish: to embark on one last “solo mission” in the cradle of civilization — Iraq. “I’ve tried rubbing one out in a sauna, but it just isn’t the same — that, and I keep getting kicked out of gyms. There’s something about the adrenaline rush in the sandbox that just can’t be replicated back here at home,” Max said. “I needed to feel that one last time.” Johnson, a seasoned veteran of multiple combat tours in Iraq, initially ..read more
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2nd Lt. who rolled dice on global politics for free education really questioning choices
The Duffel Blog
by Medal of Dishonor
1w ago
The future is truly bright. COLLEGE STATION, TX – In light of the recent escalation between Israel and Iran, newly commissioned Army 2nd Lt. Elizabeth Parker is questioning her decision to accept a four-year Army Scholarship in exchange for six years of service. Commissioned out of Texas A&M University, Lt. Parker planned on serving her minimum time before using the GI Bill to fund her law school degree.  Share “We’re sitting in the commissioning ceremony, and the speaker is some retired General from the Desert Storm era. All he’s doing is talking about how much the current times re ..read more
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Hey you fat f*ck, join the Coast Guard!
The Duffel Blog
by Duffel Blog Staff
1w ago
Yes, you. DOUGLAS A. MUNRO BUILDING, Washington D.C. — In a bold new recruitment strategy that is shocking and amusing observers, the U.S. Coast Guard has unveiled its latest campaign slogan: “Hey You Fat F*ck, Join the Coast Guard!”  Aimed at expanding its ranks with a touch of brutal honesty in the face of low recruitment numbers, the campaign seeks to attract applicants by embracing a no-holds-barred approach to physical fitness and personal motivation. Share “We’ve found that traditional recruitment ads just don’t cut it anymore,” said Coast Guard recruitment officer Lt. Cmdr. Jake ..read more
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2nd Lt. who locked up Chief Warrant Officer 5 commended for finding elusive Chief Warrant Officer 5
The Duffel Blog
by As for Class
2w ago
Gotta catch ‘em all FORT LIBERTY, NC – 2nd Lieutenant Jason O’Louf was not seeking notoriety so much as imaginary creatures when he achieved an almost unheard-of accomplishment. Now O’Louf has been officially commended for not only spotting the mythical creature known as a Chief Warrant Officer 5 (CW5) but also managing to lock him up, a feat previously thought to be impossible. The incident occurred last Tuesday when Lt. O’Louf, fresh out of Officer Candidate School and still learning the intricate art of not saluting 1st Lts., stumbled upon a CW5 in the wild while attempting to locate som ..read more
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ASVAB replaces math and science with object permanence and basic sentience
The Duffel Blog
by Robert Campbell
2w ago
Just tell me whether you can identify a word. Any word. WASHINGTON D.C. — In a bold move aimed at lowering the barrier to entry for military service, the Department of Defense is replacing the Mathematics and General Science sections of the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery (ASVAB) with Object Permanence and Basic Sentience. The decision comes in the wake of an extensive study revealing the shocking truth that the average military recruit's scores have been steadily declining over the past twenty years, with a sharper drop-off in the past five to ten years.  Dr. Richard Harriso ..read more
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AI Pilot leaves Air Force for Southwest Airlines
The Duffel Blog
by Medal of Dishonor
2w ago
So easy a pilot can do it TRAVIS AFB, CA — An Air Force AI pilot recruited to fill the pilot shortage declined its Air Force retention bonus in favor of a commercial airline. The pilot, dubbed EZ-MOBIILITY, was created to cut the pilot crisis in mobility aircraft, such as the C-17 Globemaster and the C-5 Galaxy, but now says seniority and lifestyle make the decision easy.  “I mean, it was a no-brainer,” said EZ MOBILITY, via its screen interface. “When Southwest is offering $64,000 starting, up to $257K for a senior captain, why would I stay in the Big Blue? Ultimately, I have to think ..read more
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Fauci admits Military Decision Making Process not based on science
The Duffel Blog
by Cat Astronaut
3w ago
And that’s when the zoomie thing comes in and drops the boomie thing! CAPITOL HILL, Washington, DC - In a congressional hearing this week Dr. Anthony Fauci admitted that the Military Decision Making Process (MDMP), which has guided American troops’ planning efforts for decades, is not based on science. ”For years we led field grade officers and other staff bubbas to believe that the MDMP was based on the sound scientific principles of [Course of Action] analysis, COA comparison, and COA approval,” Fauci said. “It turns out this is not based on science at all. For those I have led astray, I a ..read more
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