Where the spirituality comes in that, I think partly is the trust that your child is an organism that wants to learn—that that’s how people grow. There is physical growth that takes water food and rest, there’s mental growth which takes input—ideas, things to think about, things to try, things to touch. And then there’s spiritual growth, which takes more and more understanding—an awareness that it’s better to be sweet to other people than not, it’s better to be generous with your neighbours than hateful, better to pet your cat nicely than to throw it around. At first it’s a practical conside ..read more

Nancy Wooton wrote: Present whatever you think is cool, but *always* allow your children the freedom to say, "No thank you." Then, keep on enjoying the cool thing *for yourself.* Unschooling is for moms and dads as much as for kids! And always remember the wisdom of Hobbes (the tiger, that is): "If nobody makes you do it, it counts as fun." —Nancy Wooton SandraDodd.com/questionsNancyWooton photo by Rippy Dusseldorp ..read more

Joyce Fetteroll wrote: Real learning looks very different from schoolish learning. Real learning looks like playing. Even when it matches something kids do in school (learning the names of the different clouds for instance) it still looks more like goofing around because it stops as soon as their interest is satisfied. They don't push on like they're "supposed" to. No, what they do is revisit it when the feel the need to build on it and they draw on it (though not necessarily making it obvious to us) to help them understand more of the world. *Everything* connects to everything else. —Joyce ..read more

"Self control" is all tied up with being bad, and with failure. Choices, though, are wrapped in thought, power and freedom! SandraDodd.com/self-regulation photo by teenaged Holly Dodd, of some of her shrinky-dink art __ ..read more

Some people homeschool because they think schools teach too much and aren't controlling the kids well enough. Some people homeschool because they think schools teach too little and control too much. I don't mind my kids learning things schools fear to teach, or having choices in their lives. Practicing on small things gave them knowledge and experience when they were old enough to practice on larger things. Some families homeschool to limit their children's access and freedom. For us, it's the opposite. from the MomLogic interview photo by Cathy Koetsier ..read more

Unschooling parents who have spent years giving their children freedom and options have learned that limitations create need while freedom creates intelligent choices. SandraDodd.com/myths SandraDodd.com/choice photo by Cátia Maciel ..read more

Deb Lewis wrote: If your daughter doesn't want to leave something interesting to go to the table to eat, take food to her. Sit with her and eat together. That's the same kind of sharing you could do at a table. Food eaten in front of the TV or computer with a happy mom who is interested in you is much better than food shared in grudging silence and anger. Wouldn't you be grateful to a friend who brought you food if you were in the middle of something important? I'm always grateful when my husband brings home a pizza or Chinese food when I'm having a really busy day. —Deb Lewis SandraDodd ..read more

"Everything you do now, when your kids are young, matters. All the little kindnesses matter, every little moment of sweetness between you, every time you choose to be thoughtful of the smallest things." —Deb Lewis SandraDodd.com/youngadults photo by Jo Isaac ..read more

I've always been uncomfortable with the idea of "self-regulation." Regulation has to do with rules—creating and enforcing rules. I like the idea that children will find a balance. And it has helped me in moving from kneejerk what-would-my-mom-do (when my kids were babies I worked consciously to make decisions a better way) to try to avoid using phrases of children that I wouldn't use of adults. I don't say my husband self-regulates his leisure time, or that my friend self-regulates her diet or that my sister self-regulates her housekeeping. People will come [to a discussion] and say "I've gi ..read more

There's a lot to be learned on TV and from watching TV. If your trust stops short of the TV, it's not much trust yet. Trusting your heart and trusting your kids and trusting how learning works will all enlarge the range of things you see as learning situations, until the time when you don't see things except in terms of what can be learned. Then TV won't be a problem. Those are my thoughts. —Sandra Dodd, 2001 Unschooling with the TV in the house photo by Tara Joe Farrell ..read more