If you’ve ever been to Belgium, you will be aware that there are almost as many pubs as there are people, and they make the best beer in the world. That’s why it came as no surprise to me to read that a Belgian man has been acquitted of drunk-driving because he has auto-brewery syndrome (ABS), an extremely rare condition whereby the body produces alcohol. His lawyer also informed the court that in “another unfortunate coincidence” her client worked at a brewery.   And on weekends in a bar!   ..read more

Today Elon “King Twat” Musk’s Tesla will announce results, they are expected to suck. He has also announced major layoffs of workers as orders are falling. And don’t get me started on the Cybertruck shit storm. Not to worry, he’s working on his next big thing... “Robotaxis.” Yes, self-driving little monsters that will kill you quicker than investing in “X” The guy is obviously worth every penny of his $56 BILLION fucking pay package.   Hey, it’s only money.   ..read more

Apparently, enthusiasm for the $3,500 Apple vision Pro gizmo is dropping at an alarming rate. According to Bloomberg's Mark Gurman... “Demand for demos is way down. People who do book appointments often don't show up, and sales — at least at some locations — have gone from a couple of units a day to just a handful in a whole week. Apple also has had to step up the marketing on its online homepage. There's a huge promo for the Vision Pro at the top of the website — the most aggressive pitch since the device went on sale in early February.” They should consider what happened to the Lis ..read more

News this week that 4,000 of Elon “King Twat” Musk’s Cybertrucks have been recalled due to a faulty accelerator pedal that falls off when you apply your foot to it! Mmmmm. Apparently, this has something to do with Tesla introducing an unapproved change – using soap as a lubricant when assembling the accelerator pedal. "Residual lubricant reduced the retention of the pad to the pedal," whatever the fuck that means! Do they have soap on Mars?  Do they have weed on Mars?  ..read more

As one recent owner of Elon “King Twat” Musk’s uber-expensive-ugly, future Mars explorer, recently found out, even a car wash was able to defeat the 6,600-pound heap.. The owner paid a routine visit to a car wash to get sand off the truck after a beach visit. This caused the entire vehicle to shut down. The center console went blank, turning the stainless steel monstrosity into a giant brick. No surprise when you consider...  "Failure to put Cybertruck in Car Wash Mode may result in damage," the company's manual reads. "Damage caused by car washes is not covered by the warranty."  So ..read more

You have to laugh at the news that former White House adviser Stephen Miller believes Der Trumpf "changed American fashion" forever because he was a "style icon." He shared his totally fucked up views on the former U.S. president's sartorial looks during a typically soft ball appearance on Ace Wanker, Sean Hannity's Fox Fake news show. The conversation started when Hannity complained about a New York Times article that described President Joe Biden as "dapper," which led Miller to make his claims. 'Cos he's a wanker. Orange goes well with orange ..read more

My good friend and ex workmate, Edward O’meara, points us in the direction of WPP’s annual report. As usual it is full of all the old ad biz cliches, such as... “Our Vision” To be the most creative company in the world. “Our Purpose” We use the power of creativity to build better futures for our people, planet, clients and communities. What a load of old bollocks. Dear old David must be spinning under the turf at Chateau Toufou.  Welcome to WPP...   ..read more

Remember Sarah Huckabee Sanders? She was the White House Press Secretary for Der Trumpf, who became famous for ignoring the press and never taking questions. Now she’s the Governor of Arkansas, and is in a bit of bother, cos she just blew $19,000 for a lectern for her office. Maybe she’s going to start taking questions now. Ya think it might be gold plated and signed by Der ObergropenFuhrer?   A matching shitter is on order.   ..read more

Oh yeah, Der Trumpf begins his first mega-legal debacle day. As I write this, he has just entered the New York court room for the first day of his criminal trial concerning the hush money bribes he paid to the adult film star Stormy Daniels and the Playboy model Karen McDougal to keep them from spilling the beans just before the election Then hiding it as legal fees. The betting is all about how long he can keep his big orange gob shut during the next couple of months. Easy money there... It won’t be long.   ..read more

You have to laugh at all the furor that has erupted over Jeff Bezos’s fiancé Lauren Sanchez’s choice of evening gown at the recent state dinner for Japanese Prime Minister Fumio Kishida, at the white House. It looks like the outfit she is wearing the same one as on the prow of Jeff’s mega million-dollar yacht. But.... What about the face??? You have to wonder how many millions have been spent on that. Jeff’s ex-wife must be choking on her breakfast martini when she looks at the pictures.   Ya think?    ..read more