Fans of professional boxing and wrestling alike are abuzz today after the announcement that WWE Hall of Famers Mike Tyson and Ric Flair will come out of retirement to square off at WrestleMania — potentially as soon as 2030. Tyson, who recently almost didn’t totally lose a boxing match to Logan Paul’s idiot brother, will ..read more

World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) is earning praise in the international community today after the company announced it had significantly reduced its Corbin footprint. WWE’s Corbin emissions had drawn criticism for years, despite recent attempts by the company to brand the emissions as “happy.” “WWE is proud to now be a 100-percent Corbin-free organization,” said WWE ..read more

Legendary professional sports-entertainer The Undertaker is translating his fame from the squared circle into a new career as a pitchman for MyPillow. “These pillows are Phenom-enal,” the so-called Deadman recently posted on his Truth Social account. “They will really help you rest in peace!” The Undertaker’s endorsement of MyPillow, a conservative-values company, is expected to ..read more

Former professional sports-entertainer and seven-time Oscar-winning actor Dave “Batista” Bautista spent most of his adult life ashamed to take off his shirt, but now he’s steppin’ out with a newly slender figure and finally feeling cute. Chubby no more, Batista is reportedly considering a return to WWE and adopting a high-flying lucha-libre style, as opposed ..read more

In anticipation of what is expected be an unflattering portrayal of himself in the upcoming Netflix documentary Mr. McMahon, infamous wrestling promoter Vince McMahon is doing pre-emptive damage control by releasing a more flattering autobiographical documentary via TOUT. Titled “Quite Frankly: The Vince McMahon Odyssey,” the 46-minute selfie-shot documentary features McMahon telling a sanitized version ..read more

World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) announced this morning that, in a cost-cutting measure, its entire writing staff has been replaced by a sophisticated form of artificial unintelligence that can write nonsense exponentially faster. Software giant Innitech AI revealed its new software, Bookerbot GPT, which can generate a year’s worth of matches, plotlines and silly backstage skits ..read more

Wrestling fans everywhere are abuzz today after it was revealed that Fake Razor Ramon and Fake Diesel will be among the inaugural inductees into the new WWE Hall of Fake. Although “fake” used to be the most offensive four-letter word in wrestling, WWE says it is now “reclaiming” the word by celebrating the fakest debacles ..read more

Legendary sports-entertainer and former role model Hulk Hogan drew big cheers when he endorsed WWE Hall of Famer Donald Trump for US president, but he shocked voters and pundits on both sides of the aisle today by also endorsing Biden, albeit with unnaturally dark facial stubble. During a surprise press conference at the White House, Hogan ripped off his red Trump-Vance 2024 tank-top to reveal a blue Biden-Harris 2020 tank-top underneath, and a preposterous combination of blonde handlebar moustache and jet-black beard. Hogan, 70, stood alongside President Joe Biden, 107, while strumming a repl ..read more

WWE Hall of Famer and presidential candidate Donald Trump “juiced the hard way,” to use wrestling lingo, when he “got color” (i.e. bled) at a recent campaign event. Typically, WWE Superstars like Mr. Trump get color by using a secret technique called “blading,” in which a wrestler surreptitiously uses the corner of a concealed razor blade to slice open a ketchup packet to smear on one’s own face. But Trump, who headlined the WrestleMania 23 “Battle of the Billionaires” against [NAME REDACTED], got juice the “hard way” — not by a well-placed punch or elbow to the eyebrow, but by a precisely sho ..read more

Fans of professional sports-entertainment will remember how the seven-foot Great Khali towered over his opponents, but he looks like a midget next to his 19-year-old son, a 10-footer who just signed a lucrative 30-year contract with World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE). The Great Khali Jr. (real name Dalip Todd Singh) stands an incredible 10-foot-two, making him the tallest athlete to ever compete in WWE, though due to his slender frame, he is also one of the lightest. Sources within the WWE Performance Center reveal that The Great Khali Jr. is learning quickly during training, despite frequent ..read more