Ruth Silbermayr-Song, the author of the blog China Elevator Stories, was separated from her children in 2019. In 2020, all contact to her children was cut off by her ex-husband, as detailed in an interview on this blog. Ruth asked me to share an update about her situation: A few days ago, the court in Austria has declined my request for receiving sole custody of my children and has declined my request to see my children in their summer holidays. I have been allowed a call with my children two days a week, which is much less than the daily calls I have requested. (I have ap ..read more

China Daily recently published a column inspired by my trip back home to visit with family: Chinese art exhibition in US bridges hometowns and hearts. Here’s an excerpt: The photograph that greeted me at the entrance to a special exhibition at the Cleveland Museum of Art had a startling familiarity. The water bristled with the umbrella-like leaves of lotus plants, a grand gathering of bright green parasols under the summer sunlight. Behind them, the gentle slope of a long stone arch bridge balanced a white car and a handful of pedestrians. Willow trees bowed before the shoreline, while a moun ..read more

Over four and a half years. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve been back to the US. As I prepare to return to the US for a short visit, the staggering amount of time that has separated us looms before me.  I never thought I would be away for so long. Years ago in the US, I often heard stories from Chinese students, of how their visas — and the potential to be denied re-entry to the US during their studies — snuffed out any plans of heading back to China. I remember being shocked to hear that they hadn’t seen their family and friends back home in three or four years.  One year of ab ..read more

The pure pink resilience of the lotus blooms dazzled us on our late summer walks this year in Hangzhou, including by the city’s renowned West Lake. Generations of Chinese have admired the lotus as a symbol of purity, as it emerges from the mud underwater without stain. I admire the shades of pink — from light rose to a deep flamingo — in these delicate flowers, which shine even brighter under the intense late summer sunshine, and offer some aesthetic consolation for those brave enough to endure the heat and humidity to gaze upon their beauty. As summer draws to a close, I’m sharing a few of my ..read more

Why are couples of Chinese men and Western women so rare? This question, which I had first posed many years ago, fired up this blog, and fueled an interest that pushed me to do a deep dive to fully understand, through posts about everything from stereotypes to sex appeal. So with the advent of ChatGPT, I wondered if the widely acclaimed AI chatbot could offer new insights and perspectives into this question. And I was largely underwhelmed by the answer: There are several factors that may contribute to the relatively low number of couples consisting of Chinese men and Western women: Cultural ..read more

Blogging has introduced me to a host of original and compelling voices, including Ruth Silbermayr-Song, the Austrian creator behind China Elevator Stories. Ruth built a following by distilling casual encounters and conversations in her daily life in China into fascinating blog posts, which also offered glimpses into her courtship with and eventual marriage to a local Chinese man. Over the years, readers like me followed the adventures of her seemingly perfect cross-cultural family with two lovely kids. I never imagined that behind the scenes, a darker story was unfolding — of devastating domes ..read more

A woman needs help to fight against her abuser and bring her two Chinese-American children (a 7-year-old and 13-year-old) back to safety, as posted on GoFundMe: Melissa was trapped in a physically, emotionally, financially, and legally abusive marriage with the children’s father for 13 years in Shanghai, China. She was unable to divorce or separate from her abuser safely, under constant threat of parental abduction, and fearing for the safety of herself and her children in a country with no laws offering any sort of protection. In August 2022, she managed to escape with Oscar and Cora to a sa ..read more

COVID used to be more of a stranger in China. The virus wasn’t generally lurking next door. We didn’t worry about getting infected when we dined out or ran errands at the bank or visited a tourist spot.  But in early December, China eased restrictions to open up, and soon the virus ripped through my workplace, faster than I ever imagined. Of the 10 people in my office, I’m one of three who didn’t get COVID. It’s a miracle, as the virus infected every person in the cubicles next to me. Some estimated 80% of the employees at work caught the COVID virus; the same may hold true for the overal ..read more

The group blog WWAM BAM just published my latest post titled Where’s Wang? Taylor Swift, Taeok Lee Make a Magical Pair in ‘Willow’ Video, where I take a look back at a Swift video featuring the singer with an Asian “boyfriend”. Here’s an excerpt: Taylor Swift fans have grown restless this fall as they await the October release of her forthcoming album “Midnight”. That makes this a perfect time to put Swift in the spotlight, through a music video of hers that cast a spell around the world (and here at WWAM BAM): “Willow”. The video, dressed largely in a “prairie chic” reminiscent of a Laura In ..read more

“Where is she from?” “The US.” “How long has she been in China?” “For some time.” “Where does she live?” “Around here.” I listened to the dialogue, in Chinese, between my husband Jun and the hairdresser trimming my chestnut brown tresses. But even though I was fluent in Mandarin and could easily have responded to every question, I remained silent, resting in my chair while wearing a shy smile. It was easy to appear abashed because I genuinely felt that way, wondering, What if they all really knew the truth? And every now and then Jun and I swapped knowing grins, in recognition of the success o ..read more