In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I had the pleasure of a comprehensive but extensive conversation with the wonderful Lindsay C. Gibson, author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents (2015, New Harbinger). We discuss what emotional immaturity means, the types of emotionally immature parent (EIP), emotional loneliness, why an emotionally immature parent appears […] The post Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents appeared first on Baggage Reclaim with Natalie Lue ..read more

In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, my brother Richard and I reflect on our childhood and how repeatedly wondering ‘Is there something about me?’ affected our sense of self and working lives. We discuss how (and why) our sense of worthiness has been intertwined with our professional success and personal relationships. This honest […] The post “Is There Something About Me?” appeared first on Baggage Reclaim with Natalie Lue ..read more

After twenty months, The Baggage Reclaim Sessions is back. In this episode, I share insights into what’s been happening in my life, how I came to this decision, and the plans I have for this era of the podcast. And in case you’re wondering, the title is inspired by Mark Morrison’s iconic ‘Return of the […] The post Podcast Ep. 279: Return of Nat (Come on) appeared first on Baggage Reclaim with Natalie Lue ..read more

In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I discuss secrets and lies with my brother, Richard. Have you ever known that a loved one is holding back parts of themselves and essentially lying to you, but they won’t talk to you about it? This is what happened with us for over twenty years […] The post Podcast Ep. 280: Secrets, Lies, and Coming Out appeared first on Baggage Reclaim with Natalie Lue ..read more

When you don’t feel worthy of a healthy, available relationship, it’s not unusual to find yourself in unavailable and shady relationships. Believing on some level that you’re not good enough causes emotional unavailability (on your end), so you’re inadvertently drawn to people who are similarly unavailable. A part of you wants to limit your exposure to situations that will highlight your lack of ‘enoughness’. You also consciously and unconsciously be and do things to influence and control other people’s feelings and behaviour so that you will finally be ‘enough’, aka people pleasing. By trying ..read more

A recruiter is someone whose job is to match qualified candidates with suitable open positions at organisations. If they put any ole candidate forward for the role, they do everyone a disservice (and damage their reputation), so they have to be discerning. Having what I call a ‘recruiter mindset’ while dating saves you a lot of headache. This is especially so when a level of the ‘weeding’ often begins online. Those initial interactions matter. What you do or don’t do in the early stages of dating (stages 0-1) impacts relationship outcomes. Code amber and red alerts you ignore, dismiss or overr ..read more

In a world proliferated with inspirational quotes and lots of encouragement to be ourselves, lots of us don’t know what this means. It’s why one of my most frequently asked questions is, What the hell does being yourself mean and look like? Being yourself means letting you be the person you are when you’re not following all the rules (shoulds, musts, always, and nevers). When you’re being yourself, you’re being authentic, so being it’s the version of you that says no when you need, want to, or even should and also says yes authentically. You feel your feelings and allow you to experience conne ..read more

Boundaries are not about gaining agreement and validation. Instead, they’re about showing up and being stakeholders in our lives. If you consider that we are each our boundaries and our boundaries are us, we can’t make our existence about trying to please and prove ourselves to others. Healthier boundaries have to be about being more straightforward about who we are. People know who we are and where they stand when we know. A great way of grounding and checking in with yourself is to ensure you create and assert a boundary with your needs, expectations, desires, feelings, and opinions in mind ..read more

When you’ve been hurt and don’t feel safe in trusting others, it’s easy to rationalise that being in a bare-minimum relationship is the safe option. It’s like, How can I go wrong when I’m going out of my way to have low expectations? We figure accepting the bare minimum lowers the possibility of rejection and offers ‘low stakes’ to the other party. But a lot goes wrong because we’re doing ourselves a disservice. The decision to be in a bare-minimum relationship is self-rejection, so it accentuates the pain that caused us to make that choice in the first place. When we claim we need less than w ..read more

Over the last two decades, I’ve learned to pay attention to signs from my body and my life that I need attention and/or that I need to ask for or seek additional help and support from safe sources. This attitude is a dramatic shift for me because for the 28 years before, emotionally shutting down was my coping strategy. Avoiding feeling my feelings and being myself severely impacted my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health. Here are some of the things I do now when my body and life call attention to my needs: Talk me through a set of ‘bad’ feelings so that I can calm down. I’m a fr ..read more