Podcast Ep. 277: Knowing When To Stop
Baggage Reclaim
by NATALIE
11M ago
Tags: decision making, efforting, fear of failure, learning to trust, listening to your body, listening to yourself, overgiving, perfectionism, sunk cost, tinnitus, trying to control the uncontrollable, work boundaries, work ethic, worry and anxiety In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I share a big decision I’ve made about Baggage Reclaim and the podcast. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android 5 key topics in this episode You don’t have to hate something to stop. You can love something and also recognise that you need or want to do s ..read more
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Empathy and Allowing Ourselves to Say No Mustn’t Be Based on Status
Baggage Reclaim
by NATALIE
11M ago
Tags: boundaries with family, empathy, empathy in relationships, estrangement, family secrets, rejection, The Joy of Saying No If you believe you have to like someone in order to empathise, your version of “empathy”, of recognising others, comes from your sense of whether you like and value them. That’s a status judgement. A part of you, on some level, considers whether you regard somebody as being worthy of empathy. As a result, you will struggle not just with your interpersonal relationships but your relationship with yourself. I recently watched the Harry and Meghan documentary. E ..read more
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Podcast Ep. 276: New Year, New No, and Recognising the Dark Side of People Pleasing
Baggage Reclaim Blog
by NATALIE
1y ago
In the final 2022 episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I share a deleted chapter from my forthcoming book, The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People Pleasing, Reclaim Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want. Originally titled Gone Girl, Tiger Woods, and the Dark Side of People Pleasing, I break down how people pleasing results in us sometimes behaving uncharacteristically. To escape the chains of the roles we play and trying to keep up with our and other people’s often unrealistic expectations and projections, we might act out behind the scenes, go rogue on the version of our ..read more
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Podcast Ep. 275: You Don’t *Have* To Be Friends With Your Ex(es)
Baggage Reclaim Blog
by NATALIE
1y ago
Tags: friends with an ex, getting over a breakup, having boundaries with friends, recovering from a breakup So many of us put ourselves under pressure to try and be friends with an ex. And, yes, sometimes we pressure our ex into trying to be friends with us. In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I explain why forcing ourselves or others to be friends after a breakup is disingenuous, harmful to our well-being, and can even impact our availability for subsequent relationships. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android 5 key topics in this episode ..read more
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Why We Don’t Leave Painful and Sucky Situations: It’s Due to People Pleasing
Baggage Reclaim Blog
by NATALIE
1y ago
Something many of us find baffling is painful, sucky, one-sided relationships that, despite resenting our mistreatment by the other party, we find it challenging to create healthier boundaries and distance and/or cut ties. It’s all too easy to judge ourselves for still being there. We might decide that we’re a “doormat”, “lacking courage”, or just a “glutton for punishment”. To be clear, it’s none of these things. The answer to why we’re still there lies in recognising our style of people pleasing. In my book, The Joy of Saying No (out Jan 2023 HarperCollins/Harper Horizon), I break ..read more
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Podcast Ep. 274:  Listen to a Chapter from The Joy of Saying No
Baggage Reclaim Blog
by NATALIE
1y ago
In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I give listeners an exclusive sneak peek by reading the first chapter from my forthcoming book The Joy of Saying No.  Subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android 5 key topics in this episode It didn’t make sense to me that I devoted so much time, energy, effort, and emotion to trying to do the right thing—being a Good Girl–and yet I felt like shit most of the time. I hated myself and my life because it felt like nothing I did was ever enough. When I received the bad news about my health from my con ..read more
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To Stop Feeling Stuck After a Breakup, You Will Need To Grieve Your Old Identity
Baggage Reclaim Blog
by NATALIE
1y ago
When a significant relationship ends, or even when you step away from a job or career that you thought was ‘it’, you grieve the loss. Even though you may be aware that the relationship/marriage/job/career wasn’t working and all of the reasons why, you can still wind up feeling mad at yourself for not still: being in a relationship being married hustling or coasting in the job or career  In essence, you’re mad at yourself for not being your ideal(ised) self: the version of yourself that you think you’re supposed to be that likely ticks society’s boxes.  Your grief, on some level, is ..read more
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Problematic and Non-Apologies: Why We’re Still Upset Despite Receiving An Apology
Baggage Reclaim Blog
by NATALIE
1y ago
When someone harms or upsets us and they then apologise, it’s easy to assume that’s the end of it. Problem solved. Let’s move on. We’ve learned that getting an apology is what matters. So when we sometimes feel more hurt and upset after receiving an apology, this can be super confusing. We, and possibly the other party, might wonder what’s ‘wrong’ with us. But the simple reason for why we feel worse after the apology is that, well, we may have received a problematic apology. This includes backhanded, non-apologies that essentially giveth with one hand and taketh with the other. At the very lea ..read more
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Taking Things Personally: What is it, and how do we stop?
Baggage Reclaim Blog
by NATALIE
1y ago
Since I started writing Baggage Reclaim, I’ve become increasingly mindful of where I tend to take things personally. These instances always point back at old hurts and narratives that I need to confront in some way. Of course, I’m not alone in taking things personally—we all do it in certain contexts or as a general habit. Part of evolving our relationship with ourselves and improving emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being is becoming conscious of where we take things too personally and why and breaking these patterns by having very conscious responses.  Taking things person ..read more
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Podcast Ep. 272: Are You Disappointed? Or Is It That You’re Angry?
Baggage Reclaim Blog
by NATALIE
1y ago
In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I talk about how not distinguishing between anger and disappointment can block us from taking care of ourselves and moving forward. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android 5 key topics in this episode Disappointment is the emotional state we experience when people, things or life don’t live up to our hopes and expectations. We experience it as a loss because of the gap between reality and our hopes and expectations. Sometimes we personalise disappointment so much that we also experience it as r ..read more
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