This is a typical question from clients in my Love U Live coaching program, but this time, I didn’t give my typical answer. Instead, I asked Yesica how she was responsible for creating this situation. She paused and replied: “Every time he says he’ll change, I continue to accept his words, despite his behavior.” This is what she believes. You may, too. I mean, it’s true that she had every opportunity to break things off but hasn’t had the strength to do so. But that wasn’t the REAL issue here. And I told her so – with 30 other women listening on our two-hour weekly coaching call. Click here to ..read more

Women have it rough. We can count the ways. Men are rewarded for being direct and confrontational; women are labeled difficult or bitchy. Men are praised for working long hours to support a family; women are told they’re not good enough as mothers. Women are faced with the dilemma of taking off time to become mothers; men are not expected to take paternity leave and fall behind in their careers. You work your way to the top and it’s still an old boys club that underrepresents women and devalues work/life balance for women. We can go on, and Jessica Grose does, in this article about the press ..read more

Note: This may be my most personal post in 20 years of writing online. Please read until the end. Thank you. My wife has been going through a tough time. I don’t want to overshare but she’s fighting a three-front battle that’s taking an emotional toll on her: She’s dealing with menopause. She’s sleeping poorly, she’s been ill-tempered, and she has little energy to do the things she once loved doing: planning parties and vacations. In short, she hasn’t been herself, she knows it, and she’s struggling with it. Our kids are growing up. My wife quit her 16-year career when our daughter was bor ..read more

By the way, the above complaints are almost the same for men. Yet my logical explanation as to WHY you hate online dating doesn’t change a thing. For most Love U clients (at least before they enroll), online dating falls somewhere between a colonoscopy and a pelvic exam on the fun scale. Then again, it’s necessary to go through a certain amount of unpleasantness to reach your audacious goals. After all: There is no love without dating. There is no dating without online dating. This conundrum is the subject of today’s article, from the Techno Sapiens Substack, called Love On the Internet – Surp ..read more

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This is what makes Havrilesky so compelling and readable. She lays herself bare on the page mercilessly, column after column, never afraid to share a peek inside her messy mind. She’s all but invented having “no fucks to give.” Havrilesky’s unparalleled ability to air her dirty laundry gives permission for other women to feel more fully themselves. This is a good thing – especially for women who have contorted themselves to become people pleasers without ever being pleased themselves. Her Ask Polly columns regularly make me want to scream, “Yes!!” at the end, when she exhorts her anxious and s ..read more

In her mid-50s, Jen finally got the courage to extricate herself from her marriage. She had the confidence of knowing her job as a mom was mostly done and that she had enough money to support herself without having to depend on her ex. And while it was scary to be alone after 27 years, Jen felt an enormous weight lifted. Now that she was no longer walking on eggshells to keep the peace at home, she filled her life with things she loved. Ballroom dancing. Pickleball. International travel to places she never would have gone with her family. Jen is far happier as a divorced woman than she was as ..read more

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It’s normal to want people to like you. God knows, when I was dating, I could get consumed with it. I remember meeting one such woman on JDate back in 2002. She was getting her doctorate at UCLA. She wrote long emails that dazzled me with their wit. I remember talking to her on the phone and tingling with excitement. I had finally met my match – the woman who could inspire me to new heights, put me in my place, and challenge me to be a better person. I remember telling my roommate about her, showing him her profile, and recapping our conversations. What epic conversations! They lasted for hour ..read more