Doctor’s Credentials Raise Eyebrows, While Politicians and Philosophers Offer Amusing Takes White House Announces Joe Biden’s Metabolic Age as 17: A Dubious Diagnosis Sparks Nationwide Laughter Screw the News Photo – A wide-aspect close-up image Joe Biden as he plays a popular video game in the Oval Office. Washington, DC — In an astonishing twist of events, the White House issued a statement yesterday, boldly asserting that President Joe Biden’s metabolic age stands at a sprightly 17 years old. This startling revelation follows an assessment conducted by a doctor whose qualifications are shro ..read more

The Deceptive Political Practices Tour Kickoff Michelle Obama: The Unofficial White House Return Tour Michelle Obama on Book Tour in Pennsylvania In a surprising turn of events, Michelle Obama has embarked on what she’s calling “The Unofficial White House Return Tour.” But hold on to your campaign hats, folks, because this tour looks suspiciously like a presidential campaign in disguise. The book tour kicked off in a small town that nobody’s ever heard of, conveniently located in a key swing state. With balloons, confetti, and a stage that looked eerily similar to a campaign rally, it was clea ..read more

Big Apple’s Big Brother: Humor Under Surveillance in the City That Never Sleeps The Last Laugh: New York’s New Comedy Commandments New York Cracks Down on Laughter: Comedians Now Required to Submit Jokes for Approval Screw the News Photo – A photo-realistic scene showing male and female stand-up comedians in a line, holding scripts, in an office-like bureaucratic settin… New York, NY — In an unprecedented move that’s making even the Statue of Liberty frown, New York has introduced a new law requiring comedians to submit their jokes for approval before they can perform. Yes, you read that rig ..read more

From ABCs to SEOs: L.A.’s Youngest Set to Become Social Media Savvy Beverly Hills Elementary Offers Course in Influencer Studies; Homework Includes Gaining Followers Hashtag Homework: Beverly Hills Kids to Learn Influencer ABCs Screw the News Photo – One or two children in a Beverly Hills elementary classroom, focusing on their activities related to becoming… In a move that’s turning heads faster than a viral TikTok dance, Beverly Hills Elementary has announced the launch of a groundbreaking new course: Influencer Studies. This isn’t your average reading, writing, and arithmetic. Oh no. We’r ..read more

A Digital Culinary Oracle for the Indecisive and Tech-Obsessed Silicon Beach Start-Up Invents App That Decides What You Want for Dinner The Mealtime Messiah: An App to End All Dinner Dilemmas Silicon Beach, CA — In a world where there’s an app for everything from tracking your cat’s steps to finding a parking spot, Silicon Beach’s newest start-up, Eatee, has introduced an app that claims to solve the age-old question: “What’s for dinner?” Eatee, a blend of artificial intelligence and culinary clairvoyance, is not just an app; it’s a mealtime messiah for the indecisive. Screw the News Photo – A ..read more

In a Flurry of Color, Controversy Inflates Over Misunderstood Messages Hamas’ New Free Speech Campaign: ‘We Just Want to Express Our Love for Balloons’ Balloons of Contention: Hamas’ Latest Campaign Floats into the Limelight Texas Herald-Exaggerator, Houston, TX Screw the News Photo – Scene featuring a single Hamas terrorist with a rugged, tough appearance, in a nondescript environment. The terrorist is releasing a balloon.  In an unexpected twist of events, Hamas, an organization known for its hardline stance and frequently in the crosshairs of global criticism, has launched a new camp ..read more

A Political Odyssey: From Campaign Trail to Lost Trail Nikki Haley’s Presidential Campaign Found Wandering Lost in South Carolina Screw the News Photo – medium shot image of Nikki Halley, 45-year-old female politician, humorously depicted as being lost. Charleston, South Carolina — In the sprawling landscapes of South Carolina, the presidential campaign of Nikki Haley was reportedly seen meandering aimlessly, embodying the confusion and disarray often characteristic of modern political ventures. This bizarre episode of a campaign losing its bearings both metaphorically and literally has beco ..read more

The Unpalatable Truth: Mona Lisa’s Soup-er Tantrum Soup Splatter at the Louvre: Mona Lisa Demands a Raise for Enduring Food Attacks Screw the News Photo – showing teenagers throwing soup on the Mona Lisa at the Louvre, with the painting coming to life and looking outraged. In an unprecedented turn of events at Paris’ Louvre Museum, the renowned Mona Lisa, tired of being the target of culinary protests, has reportedly demanded a salary increase. This comes after yet another protester hurled soup at the bulletproof glass protecting her, mistaking the artwork for a soup bowl rather than a price ..read more

Experience the Real L.A.: Gridlock with a Glamorous Twist Netflix Now Filming Reality TV Show of Celebrity Traffic Jams: ‘Star-Stuck Tours'” Screw the News Photo – A Netflix camera crew filming a celebrity inside a Bentley Continental GT during a traffic jam on the LA freeway. Hollywood, CA — Netflix has taken reality TV to a whole new level with its latest venture, “Star-Stuck Tours.” This innovative show captures tourists experiencing one of Los Angeles’ most infamous features: its traffic jams. But there’s a catch – these aren’t just any traffic jams; they’re celebrity traffic jams. Holly ..read more

The Steaming Secrets of Tinseltown’s Most Demanding Divas Hollywood Assistant’s Memoir ‘I Survived a Celebrity Coffee Order’ Becomes Bestseller Screw the News Photo – Cover design for ‘I Survived a Celebrity Coffee Order’. In an uproarious revelation that has Hollywood buzzing more than a double espresso, an anonymous assistant’s memoir, “I Survived a Celebrity Coffee Order,” has skyrocketed to the top of the bestseller charts. This tell-all book spills the beans on what it’s like to handle the caffeinated whims of Tinseltown’s elite, sending shockwaves through the Sunset Strip and beyond. T ..read more