Keep watch, dear Lord, with those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love’s sake. Amen.  ~ The Book of Common Prayer ~   But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” And God said, “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt ..read more

 Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth. – Mike Tyson Give us this day our daily bread… – Jesus    Amy and I had a great 2 year plan, until I was diagnosed with cancer in September. Then we made a cancer plan. And a few weeks ago I had a massive rash breakout revealing that I was having an allergic reaction to treatment. Talk about getting punched in the mouth… What exactly does one do when the thing you need is the thing hurting you?   Among other things, we let our knees touch the earth and remember we never were in con ..read more

Turns out, I am afraid. “...let him who boasts, boast in this, that he understands and knows me...” ~ Jeremiah 9 I can’t name it yet...other than fear. But as one who has been afraid before, I recognize it. I’m afraid. Even so, there is something stronger that rises ... I want to live. I want to live. There’ve been some dark places in my life where I couldn’t say that with any conviction. But God has changed my heart, changed my life. He’s rescued me... and I want to live. It makes me laugh a little, because it’s true. (He still changes people’s lives, by the way.) The roller coaster since ..read more

…They also serve who only stand and wait. ~ John Milton, Sonnet 19   Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength They will soar on wings like eagles, They will run and not grow weary, They will walk and not grow faint. ~ The Prophet Isaiah from the Bible     What better time to send a long overdue update letter than now – the season when Heaven came down and changed the future. The health journey continues. A little quieter. A little stronger. Over two years ago, our lives were changed by those words.     You have cancer. From diagnosis in September 2021 ..read more

God is bigger than elephants.  - Charles, March 2022  Daddy, I’m scared of the storm.  - Charles, May 2022    Thunderstorms have come to the prairies and it is a wonder. And the wild rush, the authority of the storms has been as healing as ever in my little life. What a fearsome joy.   As I ponder the things we have lost - the questions about the future, the toll on my body and my family over these past months - the most calibrating reality has been God’s power showing up. Not his power for me (though He has shown ..read more

August 17, 2021 Friends We wanted to let everyone know that we are in the middle of a health scare. We thought about waiting to invite people in, but are eager for the saints to be praying... and are counting on it. In January, my left shoulder started to hurt and I chalked it up to a repetitive motion injury from driving a semi in the yard at UPS. Exercises, physical therapy, rest led to no substantial change. Mostly I was managing pain with Advil. We finally decided to head back to the doctor and had an MRI on Friday, Aug 6th. Strangely the doctor called me into his office to go over result ..read more

 As for me, the nearness of God is my good. ~ Asaph    I’m afraid of the dark. A little. Perhaps I’m a too old to have such lingering fears kicking around. But I am. Mostly, I smile at this knowing that one day in this age or the age to come, that little fear will be scrubbed off my soul for good. Haste the day. I have known darkness in my journey. I have known fear. I have known unique suffering (isn’t it all?). I have known significant personal failure.    This moment is none of those things. None.   Sitting in a coffee shop in Rochester, MN by myself I am ..read more

 You, follow me. ~ Jesus I’ve recently returned from Mayo in Rochester, MN. Three and a half days of test after test: blood work, bone biopsy, lung function, heart function, kidney function, bone scans, dental check, etc. Interspersed throughout were educational meetings about what to expect in a stem cell transplant: what to eat, what to avoid, when you’ll feel ill, what to do if you have diabetes (I don’t), and on. There was a moment that I actually laughed during all of this - sitting there surrounded by gray hair and wheelchairs, I realized two things. One: I was the youngest person ..read more

I’m neither an optimist nor a pessimist; Jesus Christ is risen from the dead! ~ Bishop Leslie Newbigin We live in the land of horizons. Though I’ve lived many places, I truly am a prairie boy born and bred. The open canopy of stars. The chill, never-ending wind. The horizon. It’s a place where small human beings stand in the vast expanse ... and see.  These past two months have been a season of standing and seeing. Taking it all in. The good news. The bad news. The uncertain. Let it come. All of it...rolling over our home like a late summer thunderstorm. And we stand and see.  A ..read more

September 2, 2021 I have cancer. “...when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go... and after Jesus said this to Peter, he said to him: Follow me.” ~ John 21 We begin now a journey that we would not have chosen. Death moves from being a far off, inevitable door to a lurking, whispering presence. He is no friend of mine, no beautiful mystery. Today is the morning after the News, and our eyes are fixed firmly on our champion, Jesus. He ..read more