“Your ‘yes’ means nothing if you can’t say ‘no’.” Do you agree? Consider this: “If you can share a ‘no,’ I can trust your ‘yes.’” Read it twice. It is a very powerful statement. Many of us, especially within Asian cultures, often struggle with saying “no” to others. This can create a sense of obligation to fulfil requests and meet expectations, even when unfavourable! This phenomenon is particularly pronounced in individuals with a People-Pleaser personality trait. Another group of individuals who generally fear saying “no” are those who have experienced traumatic incidents or events during c ..read more

As counsellors specialising in relationships and intimacy, we believe that informed consent, trauma-informed care, and enthusiastic consent are essential components of healthy and respectful sexual experiences. Informed consent refers to the process of obtaining clear and explicit agreement from all parties involved in a sexual encounter. This means that all individuals must have a clear understanding of what they are agreeing to, including the nature of the sexual activity, any potential risks or consequences, and their right to withdraw consent at any time. Informed consent requires ongoing ..read more

Microcheating is a form of infidelity that is often overlooked and misunderstood. It is a subtle form of cheating that involves behaviors such as flirting, sending intimate messages, or spending too much time with someone other than your partner. In this blog, we will explore what microcheating is, provide examples of microcheating, offer advice for people who suspect their partner is microcheating, provide scripts to call out microcheating, discuss what you can do around microcheating, and provide tips on how to heal after microcheating. We hope that this blog will help you understand microc ..read more

Do you find yourself constantly putting others’ needs before your own? Do you struggle to say no, even when it’s not in your best interest? If so, you may have people pleaser tendencies. In this blog, we’ll explore the link between people pleasing and childhood upbringing and provide tips on how to address these tendencies. The Link with Childhood Upbringing People pleaser tendencies often stem from childhood experiences. Children who grow up in households where their needs are ignored or dismissed may learn to prioritize others’ needs over their own. Additionally, children who receive praise ..read more

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy for couples to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, often neglecting to nurture their relationship. This is where the concept of a relationship “check-in” comes into play. As a relationship counselor and clinical sexologist, I have seen firsthand the positive impact that regular check-ins can have on a couple’s bond and overall well-being. So, what exactly is a relationship check-in? Simply put, it’s a designated time for partners to come together and discuss the state of their relationship openly and honestly. This can involve sharin ..read more

As counsellors, we often see how the concept of darkness can evoke fear or discomfort in individuals. However, when it comes to sleep, darkness plays a crucial role in promoting optimal health and well-being. In this blog post, we will explore the benefits of sleeping in total darkness, strategies for creating a dark sleep environment, and the transformative effects of embracing darkness beyond just improving sleep quality. Why has “darkness” as a concept gotten a bad rap over the years? It’s important to recognize that our fear of darkness often stems from societal conditioning and cultural ..read more

More than 470 youths aged 19 and below were arrested for sexual crimes in 2023, a 30% increase from the previous year.  The rise in youth sexual offending may be due to changing societal attitudes towards sexual behavior.  To address this issue, authorities will train school and community counselors to identify early signs of harmful sexual behavior in children and youth.  This initiative aims to prevent youth sexual offending and provide better support for victims of sexual crimes. As a relationship counselor and clinical sexologist in Singapore, I believe that addressing the ..read more

Just out! ?️ Podcast: How Love Can Flourish in the Workplace and the Nature of Romance with Krish Phua on Impactful Coaching Podcast Krish Phua is a registered Counsellor, Psychotherapist, and Certified Clinical Supervisor who specializes in Gender and Sexuality. Throughout his career, he found that there is an important need to blend coaching and counseling to best align with his passion for helping others. His organization Underneath The Moon taps into the vulnerability of night ? and the moon’s silent vigil over darkness to relate to our own need to be vulnerable. The differences between c ..read more

Valentine’s Day is a special time of year to show your loved one how much you care. But it’s important to remember that relationships take work and effort to maintain. To ensure your relationship stays strong and healthy, it’s important to nurture it beyond Valentine’s Day. Here are 10 practices to help you do just that. In this video by Letters From Esther Live provides five practices to nurture relationships beyond Valentine’s Day. These include expressing appreciation, taking time to be present, creating meaningful conversations, writing love letters, and making time for self-care. These p ..read more

Relationship Counselor and Clinical Sexologist Dr Martha Tara Lee and associate Counsellor Sharinder Kaur of UnderneathTheMoon.com (sister company of ErosCoaching.com) were interviewed on the The Daily Ketchup recently. We’ve embedded the videos so you can find them easily and watch all of them! Episode 2 on The Daily Ketchup is here @thedailyketchup DISCLAIMER: This episode contains sexually oriented adult material intended for individuals 18 years of age or older. Viewer discretion is advised. Are men missing out if they’re not doing butt stuff? Why is it so hard (heh) for women to orgasm fr ..read more