One morning, after a fun overnight lifestyle party, my friend and I were sitting on the patio, basking in the sun, enjoying the Park City mountain views. We were just talking and maybe cuddling, as lifestyle friends do. Her partner came out with a cup of coffee for each of us and then asked what we would like in our omelets. We looked at each other with big smiles on our faces, feeling so grateful for good friends and the men waiting on us. Funny enough, we remember it differently in who delivered the next line (I give her credit, she gives it to me) but it was something like, “Wow, I think we ..read more

For this post I am sharing a story from a dear lifestyle friend. I hope you enjoy her story as much as I do! - Lauren When my husband and I first entered the lifestyle, to say I was naïve would probably be a massive understatement. I’d been raised in an extremely conservative and religious household where sex was something we did not speak of, ever, beyond a very basic lesson on where babies come from before the health class presentation at school. I got married very young and aside from watching a little porn together now and then I was as naive as they come. That little adventure of daring t ..read more

They say, and I agree, that the start of any project is the hardest part. This is a question I get a lot, “We are both interested, but how do we start?” Transitioning your marriage or monogamous relationship to a non-monogamous relationship is one big project, if you will. It might be even harder to start this project than others because of the seemingly—and real—high emotional stakes. Starting a new diet or a new business seems easy in comparison! You start non-monogamy the same way you start anything: you plan an action and execute it. You learn from it and then you plan the next action. A w ..read more

When considering swinging many people are concerned that there is some expectation to have sex with anyone and everyone. Conversely, some might hope that they can have sex with anyone and everyone. Neither, of course, are at all true. Navigating rejection, however, can feel tricky, in the beginning for sure and sometimes even for experienced people. Taking rejection is generally easier than rejecting others—I mean, we’ve hopefully all learned good sportsmanship, right?! How to reject others is a very popular question because if we aren’t expected to have sex with anyone and everyone (whew!) ho ..read more

There is a mantra that exists on the homepage of my website. I cite it often, and it is this: ENM, or Lifestyle, can be anything you want it to be as long as everyone knows about it and everyone is enthusiastically consenting. I truly believe this. My opinion about one of the most challenging parts of ENM, however, might be surprising and that is “anything you want.” Non-Monogamy doesn’t come with many guidelines so getting clear on what you actually want can be difficult. To help this process, one thing I recommend to everyone is that you get pretty good at checking in wit ..read more

Are you responsible for others’ relationships? If you are made privy to others’ boundaries (likely) then do you become responsible for upholding them? Not just honoring them (of course you are responsible for that), but helping keep your partner in line also? i.e. If you partner suggests doing something you know breaks their boundary, do you refuse on that basis? These might be simple questions, but they have complex answers. There is a huge element of ‘it depends’ and personal choice, but I think it’s an interesting cocktail-party conversation. Well, a non-monogamous cocktail party. My person ..read more

When we were staying at Desire Riviera Maya (a lifestyle resort in Cancun), I had a quick conversation with one of the employees. We were in line at the buffet at the same time in the midst of a human traffic jam. I’m not much of a small talker, but I asked how long he had worked there. “Only a few months,” he replied. I asked where he had come from, and he said “A family resort down the road.” I chuckled a little, “Wow, this must be a big change.” He also laughed. “It is,” he said, “Would you like to know the biggest difference?” Of course I did! “Respect. In that environment men were ogling ..read more

(also great for those of you who don’t identify as sluts) I am not a medical professional. I am an experienced slut and I’ve learned a lot. This is definitely not “medical advice” but it is what I have learned from my own and my friends’ experiences. An Everyday-Practical Guide, for sure not a medical one. Female health when in the lifestyle is extraordinarily important. OK, so is male health, but for anyone who has a vagina, our cases are more complicated. This topic is not just important to one’s health, but also one’s mental health. One cannot be a happy and healthy slut if one is constantl ..read more

This post was inspired by a Reddit (r/nonmonogamy) post that I answered, but I think it’s a great topic of conversation for us sleeping-around types. I don’t have many regrets since my husband and I began swinging almost five years ago. However, there is one thing that we read about but didn’t do: to have some “special” things that only the two of us would do together. I sort of regret not doing that. Our first time swapping with another couple, he called her “Baby,” and I did not like it. I told him afterward and we decided that he wouldn’t use that pet name with others. Over time, however, I ..read more

You can pretty much assume that non-monogamous couples have top-notch communication skills. Well, if they are doing well and are happy in non-monogamy. Through the years, however, my husband and I have stumbled upon a couple issues that I am not sure anyone talks about because they don’t know to talk about them. One of them is this: how willing are you to see your partner under stress? To varying degrees, your relationship will experience stress due to non-monogamous activities - it is just part of it. Monogamous relationships also experience a lot of stress, by the way, it’s just easier (mayb ..read more