[Tap tap tap.]  Is this thing still on? Ahem.  Hi, everyone.  Well, it's been over three years since I posted.  I'm open to writing a little more now that I'm getting settled in a new place.  But I confess that I don't even know what people would like to read about. What's on your mind? What do you wish you could read about? What have you been wondering lately? Yours as ever, ​BW ..read more

I've read lots of academic debate about pronoun "go-arounds" (where everyone says his or her preferred pronoun) in meetings, classrooms, etc.  And I get the intellectual arguments on both sides--the most persuasive, to me, being the inclusion of trans people and the destigmatization of announcing one's pronoun.  So my response  to these is personal, not intellectual.  And here it is. I loathe in-person "pronoun go-arounds."  Why?  Because 99.5% of the time, I am the only person in the room that anyone is wondering about.  There will be 5 or 8 or 10 of us, and I am the sole person whose prefer ..read more

The most important thing to say about Hannah Gadsby's stand-up Netflix special, "Nanette," is: Go watch it.  Maybe you'll love it, maybe you won't.  You may not agree with all of it, but you will chuckle, and your eyes might even get a touch watery.  The morning after I watched it, I made a list of reactions/realizations. I self-deprecate all the time to make myself more accessible in exactly the ways Gadsby talks about.  And I relate to writers and comedians who do the same thing. I think I saw self-deprecation as our collective way to make ourselves more accessible and palatable to a world ..read more

I got a grant at work that enabled me to fly out someone I wanted to mentor me for a few days.  I chose someone I like and admire--someone whose work I think is top-notch, and who I've long thought of as a half-friend, half-mentor, even though I only see her for a couple hours about once a year.  For purposes of this entry, let's call her G (random, not her real initial).   I figured it would be fun.  I figured I'd have a nice time and learn some things from her.  What I did not expect was that spending a short but sustained amount of time with her would be so awesome for so many reasons ..read more

Below is a list of lies I've caught me telling myself over the past few months...  and I know I can't be the only butch who occasionally deludes herself, can I? ​"I could totally fix that." "I'm about that guy's height." "I look so much like Rachel Maddow." "My shoulders totally fill out this shirt.” "SO many straight women want me." "This shirt is really different from my other shirt.  I should probably get it." "These shoes don't come in a smaller size, but they definitely aren't too big.  They're just... comfortably roomy." ...Anyone else ..read more

Hi, friends.  I recently relieved a spate of, "You don't blog very much anymore" emails.  As I began to write my usual, "Oh, I've been SO busy with work and life, you know how it is, blah blah blah" emails," I thought: But that's not really true.  I could be blogging a ton and I'm not.  Why?   Well, there are a few real reasons.  Maybe sharing them with you will get me back into writing BW some more.  Or maybe not.  I guess we'll see.  Either way, your feedback would be awesome. 1. This is the main one, and the hardest to talk about.  I worry that now, in my very late 30s, my thoughts about ..read more

I've read lots of academic debate about pronoun "go-arounds" (where everyone says his or her preferred pronoun) in meetings, classrooms, etc.  And I get the intellectual arguments on both sides--the most persuasive, to me, being the inclusion of trans people and the destigmatization of announcing one's pronoun.  So my response  to these is personal, not intellectual.  And here it is. I loathe in-person "pronoun go-arounds."  Why?  Because 99.5% of the time, I am the only person in the room that anyone is wondering about.  There will be 5 or 8 or 10 of us, and I am the sole person whose prefer ..read more