“Ever tried, ever failed, no matter. Try again, fail again, fail better.” ~Samuel Beckett I felt an enormous sense of relief when I discovered that he was a total mess! I’m talking about one of the most revered Buddhist monks of our time. I learned this from a short autobiography, A Mountain in Tibet: A Monk’s Journey. It was written by the current abbot of the Kagyu Samye Ling Tibetan Buddhist monastery in Scotland (UK), Yeshe Losal Riponche. Having escaped from his war-torn home country (Tibet) and after much other trauma, he found himself in the West, entirely immersed in the sex-drugs-roc ..read more

“It is important for people to know that no matter what lies in their past, they can overcome the dark side and press on to a brighter world.” ~Dave Pelzer, A Child Called “It” I grew up in the shadow of my pathologically narcissistic father. From a very young age, my role in the family was that of the scapegoat, a role that poisoned my entire childhood. I lived in a constant state of fear, shame, and self-doubt, always trying to please my father and earn his love and approval. But as I grew older and began to understand the true nature of my father’s behavior, I realized that his love was ne ..read more

“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.” ~Fyodor Dostoyevsky When I was in my last semester of college in 2016, I got my first paid job working in libraries as a children’s library assistant. I can remember the passion and sense of purpose I initially felt when taking this job. The idea that, every day, I’d be helping foster a love of reading in kids felt like a worthwhile career. Reading supports cognitive development in children. It enhances language skills and improves concentration. It encourages creativity and even fosters ..read more

It’s a new week, and that can bring with it a sense of excitement and possibility or a sense of dread about your overwhelming responsibilities. Sometimes for me it’s both. And not just because I have a lot to do, but also because, like most of us, I have a lot going in my head and my heart at any given time. And it’s not always easy to be a feeling human in a busy world that won’t just slow down when it all feels like too much. Which means sometimes we need to stop instead. Stop doing. Stop pushing ourselves. Stop ignoring our needs. Stop avoiding our feelings. Stop expecting more from oursel ..read more

As we get older, we tend to get clearer on what matters most to us in life. For me, it’s self-care and relationships. If you share my top values, you’re in luck, because today’s special offer honors both of those things! In my experience, self-care and relationships have been deeply intertwined—because I’ve found that deep-level self-care reinforces my worth, which enables me to attract and hold onto healthy relationships. Which then inspires me to continue taking good care of myself so I can give the best of myself to the people I love (without losing myself in the process). This isn’t easy ..read more

“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” ~Lao Tzu Once believed to be conflict-free, our relationship disintegrated on a fateful evening in May 2007, revealing the facade of our supposed happiness. We always said, “We’ll be all right because we never fight.” Well, that belief shattered on my dad’s fifty-fourth birthday. What was supposed to be a dinner with my parents turned into a nightmare and marked the beginning of a harrowing ordeal. My then-husband, bleeding from a head wound after a visit with a friend, turned our evening into chaos. As I attempted to bandage him, uneas ..read more

“Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.” ~Buddha “I’m sorry for your loss” is a perfectly acceptable response…if I’ve told you I’ve lost my phone. In that instance, I can appreciate the sentiment, empathy, and authenticity of the phrase. It’s my loss and my loss alone. I know you can put yourself in my shoes and internalize what it would feel like to be without this critical device and, as such, the words carry weight. When I tell you my parents are dead, though? Maybe not so much. That’s because they’re monumental deaths t ..read more

I used to loathe the word “forgiveness.” What it meant to me was that someone could hurt me, lie to me, or even abuse me, say “sorry,” and I was supposed to pretend like nothing happened. If I didn’t, they would say to me, “I thought you were a forgiving person,” or “What? I already said I was sorry.” It felt awful, outside and inside. I had one relationship that I knew very well wasn’t good for me and I wanted out of, but my misunderstanding of what the word “forgiveness” meant kept me stuck there for a very long time. The person would lie repeatedly and never come clean. When things ca ..read more

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” ~Joseph Campbell My husband Jake and I sit in anguish on our beautiful new linen couch, inches away from each other, yet worlds apart. Hours of arguing have left us at another impasse, the stalemate now a decade long. I look around in despair at the beautiful life we built together, petrified by the decision I know I have to make. My partner, my friends, the country I live in, the ground beneath my feet—all on the brink of collapse. I stare at the ceiling in heartache. What will be left of my life? So begins my descent into the white-h ..read more

“If you feel that you are missing out on fulfillment and happiness, but cannot put your finger on why, perhaps there is something deeper going on. Believe it or not, anyone can develop an unconscious habit of self-deprivation. Usually, this habit begins in childhood.” ~Mike Bundrant For all my adolescence and over a decade of my adult life, I was what men (and I’m guessing some female friends as well) would refer to as “emotionally needy.” And some did. To my face. With a sense of condescension and judgment. They were right. I was clingy, insecure, and fragile. I needed regular reassurance. A ..read more