Eight years. It seems more like eight seconds. Eight years ago I got offered this gig and it was, at the risk of hyperbole, a dream come true. Somebody willing to pay me for my words, and the labor of putting those words on digital paper. And having people actually read those words. It was a new experience for me. Yes, I’d enjoyed the fruits of my labors previously. I’d managed to get paid for something I’d created. Several somethings. But those were one-and-dones. Finite transactions. I’d put something together and sell it. I’d retain the rights and I might, hopefully, get to sell it again to ..read more

Anytime I see somebody wearing a plague doctor’s mask in a work of fiction, and that work of fiction is in any way related to birds, I get a tad nervous. I wouldn’t want to have to litigate somebody. The character of my own creation—both figuratively and perhaps literally (or better to say, perhaps, conceptually and possibly physically, as I may have inadvertently created a tulpa)—The Rook, wears a plague doctor’s mask and a black cloak and hood. You can’t copyright a plague doctor’s mask, and there have been other fictional works to make use of some sort of cult whose members wore them. No co ..read more

Check out this King Tut action figure I discovered during a recent surfing of the net. It was easy, since the algorithms showed it to me as an inserted ad. Those algorithms do know me well. The devil is in the algorithms, as they say. Well, I don’t know if *they* say it. I say it. They *should* say it, if they don’t. Whoever *they* are. But I digress. The algorithms are in collusion with the forces of capitalism. They want to get my money. In the case of the King Tut figure, they won’t prove successful. Probably not. The Tut figure is kinda pricey. Pretty, but pricey. I don’t know if I can con ..read more

I couldn’t figure out how to review the new TOP GUN sequel for this site, or any of the other sites we manage (WEREWOLVES.COM and DARKNESS.COM). I’m honest enough about things that, if I’m gonna keep my receipt from the movie theater and write off the ticket price for my taxes, then I need to use the experience for work. If you review movies professionally, see, you get to write off ticket purchases as work-related expenses. A lot of times studios will send you free passes, but when they don’t, you can just save your receipts, provided you actually do review the movies you go see. But in the c ..read more

This one will be of interest to fans of Stanley Kubrick’s THE SHINING only. (And if you’re not a fan of Kubrick’s THE SHINING, I’ve honestly got nothing for ya; Stephen King gets a pass, as he has a right to not appreciate it, since Kubrick kinda highjacked King’s story and made it his own. Anybody else, not so much.) And it won’t even appeal to every fan of THE SHINING, only those who enjoy taking the deep dives. Film students, and marks for conspiracy theories, and your basic cinephiles. ROOM 237 explores all the hidden meaning, supposed hidden meaning, and conspiracy theories associated wit ..read more

I expected they’d do it. I never really doubted all the vampire marks would come through. The folks behind the celebration of the anniversary of the publication of DRACULA, held at Whitby, England, had decided to try to break the world record for the most people in one place all dressed like vampires. And they did. 1,369 people showed up in their gothic finest. The previous record was 1,039. Whenever I encounter some conspiracy-minded troglodyte who insists that all media in this country is biased in favor of them-thar dang liberals—and any news source that ever reports anything remotely negat ..read more

Some years back my lovely better half and I watched this awful movie called THE 13TH CHILD. A slumming Cliff Robertson (Uncle Ben in the first SPIDER-MAN movie and 80s spokesperson for AT&T) plays a creepy ol’ dude who has a pet tarantula named Bruno. At one point while watching the movie I jokingly said to my wifey, ‘I think Bruno is the Jersey devil!” As it turned out, that was exactly the case. At the climax of the flick the spider turned into the Jersey Devil. As the closing credits began, I nonchalantly said to my mate, “You are aware that I was kidding when I said Bruno was the Jerse ..read more

I’m drawing a conclusion, here. First, read the synopsis for the upcoming fourth season of WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS, set to premiere on FX on July 12: “The newest season will see the group reunited, each returning to their house in Staten Island, which is in a state of complete and total disrepair. With no money to repair their house, the group will have to come up with a way of fixing their creepy manor. Season 4 will see Nandor’s search for love continue, Nadja will look to open a vampire club, a longtime dream of hers. Laszlo will struggle to raise baby Colin, and Guillermo will find himse ..read more

I don’t blame Eva Green as much for the abomination that was DARK SHADOWS as I do Johnny Depp and Tim Burton. Depp and Burton are the ones who claimed to be fans of the series. As fans, it was expected, and should be expected, that they’d do right by the property. They did very much the opposite. They wiped their feet on it, and they should both be ashamed of that. Ms. Green was just there to pick up a paycheck, and her performance was the best thing about that lousy, lousy film. Anyway, this post isn’t about that movie. I just can’t resist taking a swing at it any opportunity I get. Speaking ..read more

The Horror genre is well represented by Funko, the coolest company in the world. Their upcoming offerings along those lines already have me reaching for my wallet. Check out those figures for DOCTOR STRANGE IN THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS. I gotta get Zombie Doctor Strange with his cloak of souls. And check out the Funko Nosferatu. How adorable is that? I want the variant with him wearing his hat but I bet it’s gonna be hella pricey. Expect to see these figures out for Halloween this year. Funko has released a shit-ton of images for their “Funkoween” event. Peruse the offerings here—and start c ..read more