The blended family. It sounds so perfect. After all, the Brady Bunch seemed pretty happy, didn’t they? What the iconic seventies sitcom never showed us was that Mrs. Brady almost assuredly got on the boys’ nerves, at times, and the girls probably wished they could spend some time alone with just their mom—without the rest of the clan. And, we would be willing to bet there were times when one of the girls said to their mother, “He can’t tell me what to do, he’s not even my real dad!” Get the picture? The blended family advantages and disadvantages are many.   We each understand the blended ..read more

There are many, many heartbreaking and difficult aspects of getting a divorce. There is shock, sadness, fear of change, loneliness, frustration, the feeling of failure, anger resentment, and so much more. But there is one thing that I believe might be the hardest part of getting a divorce: lack of control, specifically when your kids are with your ex. This article idea came from a Facebook message I happened to see, in which a mom who is getting divorced wrote about how her ex refuses to put a helmet on their 8 year-old son when he is riding his bike at his house. The ex knows that putting a h ..read more

Thinking about how to tell your kids about the divorce? That is perhaps the most heartbreaking and difficult aspect of a divorce. As parents, we are all so protective of our children, both physically and emotionally, and the last thing a parent wants to do is deliver news about divorce to the children that will cause unavoidable fear, hurt and sadness.   Every child reacts differently to hearing from his or her parents that mommy and daddy are getting divorced. Some kids cry, some bottle it up and pretend to be OK, some kids get angry and act out at home or school, some regress emotionall ..read more

Some would say parenting is the most challenging, yet rewarding job on earth.  I like to say it brings me my greatest joy and my deepest grief.  A bit like growing a second heart and wearing it on your sleeve everyday.  But what happens in regards to parenting when a couple decides to get divorced? It could make parenting, specifically coparenting, extra challenging. Coparenting with someone who hurt you can add a whole other layer–a whole new dynamic and a new set of challenges to raising children.   Parents getting divorced can find themselves in a relationship where mutu ..read more

Ask anyone who is divorced and he or she will tell you that the pain it causes can sometimes feel unbearable. Then add in the holidays—especially that first Christmas or Hanukkah and New Years after a separation. It’s very very hard. Trying to celebrate the holidays during divorce is stressful, sad, confusing and sometimes bittersweet. It is during this time that the pain of divorce is intensified, both for the couple and the kids.   The holidays during divorce can feel so depressing, both for the newly separated, and even for those who have been divorced for awhile. It starts with receiv ..read more

What is Reunification therapy? Reunification Therapy (RT) is often court-ordered for separated or divorced families, where there is a favored parent and a rejected parent. The goal of reunification therapy is to restore a disrupted parent-child relationship. While the term is commonly used in the court systems, there are actually no standard therapeutic protocols for “reunification therapy,” so every therapist or counselor is free to use whatever methods they find appropriate. This makes it vitaly important for families to choose a qualified therapist with a background in family systems therap ..read more

There are only a few guarantees when it comes to most divorce cases. Two of them include: Mom gets the kids on Mother’s Day and Dad gets them on Father’s Day. I’d have to bet it’s written that way in almost every divorce decree, not including cases of sole custody and other special circumstances.   So, on Father’s Day, your ex will most likely pick up the kids and leave for the day, and you might be sitting home wondering what they are up to, worrying about them (of course), and feeling sorry for yourself, lonely, isolated and depressed. I don’t want you to do that!!!     &nbs ..read more

How is it even possible to put into words the gift of motherhood? In honor of Mother’s Day, I’m going to try.   I’ll start with the day I gave birth to my now 21-year-old son. The first time I took him in my arms, I got my first gift of motherhood: the feeling that this was going to be the best and most special thing I had ever accomplished in my life. That has proven to be true. That’s not to minimize anything else I’ve done in life, (especially giving birth to my daughter, who I had two years later), but I will never forget that feeling. I now had someone who needed me, who I had to pro ..read more

My late father was one of the wisest people I have ever known. Among his countless displays of knowledge and perception was his ability to counsel this single mom. When I was going through my divorce, I would call him and tell him about a problem I was having, he would offer advice with specific suggestions, but one thing he would always include in his stern, get-tough tone was, “Handle it.” That’s why when people ask me how to be a successful single mother, I say: “Two words: handle it!”   Let me back up. Sometimes my dad would say things like, “Handle it like an executive would,” or “Yo ..read more

Divorce and College.  Two words that are both equally hard to manage on their own without much research, guidance and support.  But what happens when you are divorced or getting divorced and at the same time, your children are approaching or even already in their college years? The combination can feel overwhelming. In this article, I will address the topic of divorced parents paying for college, and offer tips on how to make it all work.   I’m a divorced mom who separated right before my oldest child entered high school.  I have always been financially minded and with my d ..read more