In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on how to navigate a partner pulling away. If you're someone with anxious attachment patterns, a partner's withdrawal or disengagement can feel extremely distressing - and yet, many of our go-to strategies for managing that distress can ironically have the effect of pushing someone further away.  We'll cover: what to do when someone pulls away in an early dating context why we feel drawn to pursuing connections with people who are inconsistent  how to navigate a partner repeatedly leaving and coming back what to do when a long-term part ..read more

In today's episode, we're talking all about self-soothing and anxious attachment. For most anxiously attached folks, self-soothing and self-regulation can be a real struggle. This typically shows up as an over-reliance on others (often a partner) to be our sole source of safety and reassurance when we experience emotional distress, and an accompanying sense of helplessness and panic if and when they are not available to perform that role.  We'll cover: why anxiously attached people struggle to self-regulate how an inability to self-soothe impacts our relationships mindset shifts and pra ..read more

This episode is part two of a two-part series on 20 Traits of the Anxious Attachment Style.  I'm going to be running through some of the less obvious expressions of the anxious attachment style, as well as the underlying drivers of these patterns. ⭐️ JOIN THE WAITLIST FOR HEALING ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT ⭐️ Further Links & Resources Join the waitlist for Healing Anxious Attachment ⭐️ Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOEN ..read more

Today's episode is part one of a two-part series on 20 Traits of the Anxious Attachment Style.  I'm going to be running through some of the less obvious expressions of the anxious attachment style, as well as the underlying drivers of these patterns. ⭐️ JOIN THE WAITLIST FOR HEALING ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT ⭐️ Further Links & Resources Join the waitlist for Healing Anxious Attachment ⭐️ Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PH ..read more

In today's episode, I'm delighted to be joined by James "Fish" Gill to talk all things conflict and conscious communication. Fish is a coach, teacher and facilitator whose work offers a compassionate paradigm for relating to and transforming moments of conflict in all of our relationships.  We cover: why we so easily end up in conflict and opposition with people we love how we unconsciously escalate conflict  using compassion and curiosity to understand someone else's perspective holding both positive intention and unintended impact as true reframing defensiveness, withdrawal and o ..read more

In this week's episode, I'm joined by my partner Joel and we're exploring some common misconceptions about avoidant attachment. Avoidant attachment is frequently misunderstood and misrepresented in a lot of online content, and it's so important to me to dispel some of those portrayals and offer something more humanising and more honest about what's going on for avoidant folks. We cover misconceptions around: avoidant people not wanting to be in relationships avoidant people only caring about themselves avoidant people never experiencing anxiety in their relationships avoidant people being un ..read more

In today's episode, I'm delighted to be joined by Julie Menanno. Julie is a couples therapist, best known for her hugely popular instagram account @thesecurerelationship where she offers nuanced and insightful takes on attachment dynamics and how couples can overcome negative cycles to build secure relationships. She has just released her first book, Secure Love, which offers couples a roadmap for building thriving relationships that last.  Our conversation covers a lot of ground, including: a deeper look at the fear of abandonment in anxious attachment key challenges of avoidant attach ..read more

In today's episode, we're talking all about getting back together with an ex. Facing the prospect of rekindling after a relationship has ended can bring up so many conflicting feelings - longing, optimism and hope, together with fear, worry, self-doubt and anxiety. In helping you navigate the messiness of these situations, I'll be sharing some good reasons and some not-so-good reasons why you might consider getting back together with an ex, and how you can best approach that decision to support yourself and your relationship going forward. ♥️♥️ VALENTINES DAY SALE: SAVE 50% ON HIGHER LOVE AN ..read more

✨ Last chance to join the 28-day Secure Self Challenge ✨ If you've ever come across standard "self-love" advice and it hasn't really landed for you, you're not alone. As great as it would be if we could all click our heels and achieve self-love, the simple reality is that for most of us, that's a far cry from where we're at - and if anything, the pressure to love ourselves can leave us feeling even more broken and hopeless. In today's episode, I'm sharing four pillars of a healthy relationship with self, that go beyond "self-love". These are more concrete, actionable focus areas that you can ..read more

In today's episode, I'm joined by Dr. Morgan Anderson and we're talking all about building self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence in the context of dating. Dr. Morgan is a licensed clinical psychologist, attachment theory expert, relationship coach, and author of the relationship self-help book, Love Magnet. She is also the host of the Let's Get Vulnerable podcast. In our conversation, we cover: how insecure attachment styles fuel unhealthy dating patterns how low self-worth and a lack of self-trust impact our dating mindset common shifts that occur as you rewire old patterns and move t ..read more