In this introspective episode of "After the Affair," join me Luke Shillings as I take a closer look at the impact of our innermost thoughts on our relationships, especially in the context of infidelity. "Contemplating Infidelity" explores not just the actions that betray trust but the unseen thoughts that precede them. I examine the moral and emotional weight these thoughts carry, their influence on our relationships, and how understanding them can lead to deeper connection and healing. In This Episode, You Will Learn: The Nature of Thought in Relationships - How every action in a relationshi ..read more

In this transformative episode of "After the Affair," hosted by me, Luke Shillings I take listeners on an enlightening journey, connecting the vast, expansive nature of the universe to the deeply personal path of growth after betrayal. Discover how embracing a growth mindset can lead you from the darkness of betrayal to the light of newfound strength and resilience. Join me as I explore the universal truths that guide us through our most challenging times, offering insights and strategies to help you navigate your journey of healing and growth. What You'll Learn: The Nature of Growth: How th ..read more

Join me Luke Shillings as I question the moral and emotional dilemma of whether to inform an affair partner's spouse about the infidelity. This is a deep dive episode where I explore the topic from both sides. Well worth a listen if I do say so myself! This complex topic is unpacked through personal stories and a thorough examination of the pros and cons of telling the AP's spouse. You will gain insight into the ramifications of such a decision, alternative healing paths, and how to move forward with integrity. Whether you're directly affected by infidelity or seeking to understand its impacts ..read more

In this potentially uncomfortable episode of "After the Affair," join me Luke Shillings as I ask one of the most complex and emotionally charged questions faced by individuals navigating the aftermath of infidelity: Should I contact the affair partner? This episode unpacks the myriad of emotions, potential outcomes, and ethical considerations surrounding the decision to reach out to the person involved with your partner. I aim to guide listeners through the pros and cons of initiating contact, offering a balanced view on seeking closure, the quest for the unfiltered truth, and the need for pe ..read more

In this episode of 'After the Affair,' I, Luke Shillings, dive deep into the heart of healing after infidelity. We explore two unique approaches to navigating the complex emotions and challenges that arise in the wake of betrayal. Without getting into the specifics of personal stories, I share insights into how we can tackle the overwhelming feelings by breaking them down into manageable parts, as well as the power of focusing on other areas of life to build resilience before facing the tough stuff directly. I discuss the importance of understanding that healing isn't a one-size-fits-all journ ..read more

Dive deep into the heart of healing with 'A Story of Betrayal: No Place Like Home,' a poignant episode of the 'After the Affair' podcast. In this episode, I'll take you on a journey that parallels the beloved tale many of us are familiar with, artfully connecting this age-old adventure to the emotional landscape of recovering from betrayal. Explore the tumultuous whirlwind of emotions that follow infidelity, the shared struggles and solidarity found in the company of others on similar paths, and the daunting encounters with personal fears and doubts that challenge the journey toward healing ..read more

Join me, Luke Shillings, whilst I unpick the intricate dance between people-pleasing tendencies and the aftermath of infidelity. I offer a deep dive into how our fears and insecurities can shape our perception of our partners, leading us to create imaginary versions of them that fuel our self-judgment and people-pleasing behaviours. This episode shines a light on the intensified patterns of self-doubt and narrative crafting that emerge when infidelity shatters the relationship, challenging you to reflect on the authenticity of your actions in the quest for healing. I carefully unpack the comp ..read more

Join host Luke Shillings on 'After the Affair' for an enlightening Episode 76, featuring the renowned counsellor and relationship expert David Essel. Dive into a conversation about personal healing, overcoming the victim mindset, and the path to meaningful relationships. David shares the necessity of addressing past resentments through therapy before embarking on new connections, and the importance of self-love and inner peace as the foundation for partnership. Uncover the detrimental effects of labeling in relationships and learn from David's personal journey of breaking societal expectatio ..read more

In this compelling continuation of our journey through healing, "8 Steps to Healing: Part 2 - Rebuilding and Renewal" takes us deeper into the transformative process of recovery from infidelity. Building on the foundational steps of Clarity, Belief, Forgiveness, and Growth discussed in Part 1, this episode explores the latter stages of the healing journey, where we begin to reconstruct our lives and visions for the future. Step 5: Rebuilding Trust Trust is the foundation of all relationships, including the one we have with ourselves. In this step, we delve into the intricate process of rebuil ..read more

In this week's episode of "After the Affair," with infidelity recovery expert, Luke Shillings. He dives deep into the heart of relational conflicts, exploring the profound impact of empathy and understanding. With his signature warmth and relatability, Luke shares insights into how our unique life stories shape our perspectives, often leading to misunderstandings in our closest relationships. Drawing on personal anecdotes and a down-to-earth approach, he challenges listeners to adopt an "empathy-first" mindset, offering practical tips for turning everyday disagreements into opportunities for d ..read more