Most people think they have a history of picking the wrong partner. They describe themselves as having a “bad picker.” The problem was in their choice of partner — not in how they co-managed the relationship. Today, I’m making the argument that we all pick the wrong partner. You will pick a partner who, over time, will almost certainly feel like the wrong partner, and it actually doesn’t matter. Your relationship can work anyway. In this episode, you’ll learn why long-term commitments will, ironically, diminish some of the reasons why you wanted to commit in the first place, like: Excitement ..read more

For members of the LGBTQ community, coming out isn’t a one-off conversation. It’s more like a series of discussions in which the person discloses to their loved ones that they are not the expected default, and instead are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer/questioning — or some combination thereof. The process of coming out is largely influenced by when a person comes out. Like, literally, the era they find themself living in, as well as by the culture they find themself living in.  Gay rights has come a long way in the past 10-15 years, but for anyone contemplating coming out ..read more

People who are unhappy in their lives have common denominators. It doesn’t matter what area of life they’re unhappy with — the solve is the same because the issue isn’t really about that particular area of their life — it’s about the way they approach things.  Today, I’m going to show you how unhappiness in the quality of your relationships, your ability to reach goals, even the amount of money you have — how dissatisfaction in anything is the result of two things:  The way you’re thinking and the way you’re acting.   And I’m giving you one of my most effective tools to ..read more

Years ago, I was gutted by a falling out with one of my siblings. It quickly became clear that we were on the verge of estrangement, and that impending loss brought me to my knees —I had just recovered from PTSD and was terrified of getting sucked into the black hole of trauma that I’d just come through.  Frantic for help, I found myself Googling a solution, and up came the term Forgiveness Therapy.  To be clear: I was not feeling forgiving. But I was feeling desperate. I did not want to revisit the darkness I’d just emerged from.  A book on forgiveness had recently been publis ..read more

We all learn relationship skills in our formative years during childhood — for better or worse. As adults, it’s up to us to assess which of those skills serve us and to unlearn those that don’t.  Whether or not you’re a parent, I promise this episode is relevant for you. In this candid conversation with parenting expert Dr. Jennifer Weberman, we drill down on how everyday experiences provide children (and provided us as children) with opportunities to learn relationship skills — even when we fu@k up.  In this episode, you’ll learn: Why some of us were a bad fit for our parents ..read more

Lately, my conversations with clients + friends involve talk about exhaustion. There’s a general sense of burnout — a fatigue that weekends and time off no longer cures.   Which makes sense to me from a mental health perspective.   Life, particularly in recent years, has felt incredibly unpredictable, and as humans, we can tolerate a lack of predictability for short periods of time. But we’ve had several years of unpredictable events without a reset.     And when individuals have to endure a rinse and repeat of uncertainty without fully healing before the nex ..read more

There’s a new term in the workplace that describes a behavior that’s existed for as long as I can remember: Quiet Quitting.  It’s when an employee is dissatisfied with their job and rather than resigning, they do the bare minimum (and sometimes less) to remain employed. But they’re basically checked out. They’re going through the motions to avoid having to deal with the stress that comes from changing their job. Today I want to use that term and apply it to what we do with loved ones when we “quietly quit” our relationships.  It’s not something most of us do consciously. But we al ..read more

I hate hearing, “You’re too sensitive.” Maybe because when I’ve been on the receiving end of it, a flood of shame has followed.  On the rare occasion when it hasn’t made me hang my head, a defensive retort has usually flown out of my mouth, leaving me feeling like I just validated the judgment that was hurled at me, and I feel even worse. There’s something about “sensitivity” that causes people to discourage it. As though it’s an internal dial that “sensitive” people are choosing to keep at maximum volume. So what is it about emotional sensitivity that’s so off-putting to people? That ..read more

Alright, Couples! I am here to celebrate you today and hopefully to inspire you with unique ways to honor your love today and throughout the year.  Last week we explored how singles can gracefully handle Valentine's Day, acknowledging that not everyone is in a relationship — which is perfectly fine. This week we delve into how couples can celebrate this day in meaningful ways. Here’s what you’ll get answers to in this episode: How to celebrate Valentine’s Day when you’re not particularly romantic. My views on “Special Occasion” sexual acts as gifts. How to ensure that your partner and ..read more

Valentine’s Day rubs a nerve in me. It makes me feel very protective of the single people in my life. I hate that we have a holiday that underscores everyone’s relationship status. My mind continuously goes to how February 14th makes singles feel — especially women.  Which is why this episode is dedicated to SINGLES.  Today, I celebrate you.  Not in the trite ways we see on social media.  You’ll get no suggestions of “personal care” from me today.  What you WILL get is answers to: Why we feel so much pressure to have an intimate relationship. How to navigate 2/14 ..read more