And what a month it's been for tourists being trashbags in Bali. From catfishing lezzos to nudie temple runs and flange flashing - Bali had it all. When you let everyone into a place and it becomes a total free for all, what do you do? When the hordes come to heal and take what they take, and party and fuck like it's their last day on Earth, chances are - shit is going to go down. It is not rocket science. To be fair, the nudie temple run was a mental health issue but the MH red flags were flying like a parade for that poor lass weeks ago. And rather than do something to help her out back then ..read more

Getting off another call back home - Finton Shouldntcall was questioning his life choices again. He has started wondering if he should book a flight back to Sydney after another lecture by his best friend. "Mate cmon - you can’t live in lala land forever? You gotta come back to the real world eventually. You need to head home, strap em on, grow a pair and get a mortgage like the rest of us. For fucks sake Finton - grow up! Think about your bloody future. If you manage your money right you can still have a surf weekend down south once a year. It's doable. If we have to do it - so should you. It ..read more

After spending 25 years having Bintang binges, pissing in pools, and taking bets on blindfolded scooter rallies through local villages - Aussie Declan Fugginbogan now thinks Bali is overrun by bad tourists. "Bali has changed mate - in my day we didn't have these kinds of cheap tourists. We just got on the beers and had a good time. We didn't cause any trouble. Now these dickheads are ruining my island for everyone. They need to piss off." Declan conveniently forgot his younger years were spent: spewing his hole up at The Bounty, running an illegal t-shirt and bong company that caused a stint i ..read more

Every year like clockwork during the rainy season we will see a foreign woman lying on a beach somewhere in Bali. She is often in swimwear (or in this case a mermaid tail), she will always be surrounded by a festering sea of plastic rubbish while a drone hovers overhead or a photographer ( usually her long-suffering boyfriend) is waiting in the wings. Like a shipwrecked piece of flotsam - she ignores the real risk of tetanus, cholera, typhoid, hepatitis, parasites and now COVID - as she lays there like an inert washed up sea critter. She wants to save the world, she wants to make a difference ..read more

Swimwear model Svetlana Idontgiveafuckski from Canggu, Bali was recently admitted to hospital for shock after discovering clothes are no longer optional in most parts of the world. Arriving at Kuala Lumpur International for her 2-day visa run in a tiny pink bikini top and micro lycra shorties, Svetlana was surprised to find the Immigration officers in head scarves less than welcoming. With ass cheeks on display and scant coverage of her recently enhanced cleavage, Svetlana spent her time in the long queue updating her local Only Fans subscribers. “Why do people keep staring at me like this, ha ..read more

Wellness heart centred vegan eco yoga branding expert Chai - anne Hustley has taken her business to the world stage today. Setting herself up in a bum numbing metal chair in one of Bali’s many co-working spaces - has meant she can now officially call herself ‘an entrepreneur’. “ I am here to focus on my business - it’s unique - no one else in Bali can claim to work in this area. It is an area I have spent months training in and can now offer my services to the world.” Sipping on her turmeric yoga tea latte with activated charcoal dust Chai - anne continued, “ Bali really is the best place to n ..read more

But wait there’s more…. Maybe it’s too much 9News. Maybe it’s a sign of the times. Maybe it’s collective amnesia. Or maybe Aussies just don't have Google. But Bali's social media groups are full of dumb ass questions that have been asked a million times before. Here are just some of our favourites asked by Aussies every day on the interwebs: “I have been offered a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to buy land from my Balinese family - so lucky!!! What is the best way to transfer 700k AUD to their account as a deposit? Don’t want to miss out!“ “Looking for Ketut who I met in 1986 at Troppo - any i ..read more

It’s that time of year again when the leather and feather brigade descends on Bali. Here at The Legian Street Journal, we know a thing or two about Ubud mantras and tantras. So let’s take a look at the Bali Spirit Festival guestlist. Chakra Smudgemore - lightworker/ astrologer/ Shamanic spirit animal channeler. Born in France. Spent the last year of the pandemic in the jungles of Costa Rica making vegan leather bracelets in a women’s collective.  Hasn't been around testosterone in 2 years. Doesn't know how to balance male and female energy. Happy to hex you but not sex you. Regardless of ..read more

When asked why she wasn’t wearing a helmet or shoes while on her scooter. Or why her entitled, white, uninsured ass thinks she is above the law and personal injury. Barefooted Byron Bay local Candace replied with a flick of her sage scented hair. “The universe will protect me and I have recently completed a cacao ceremony with 2 lightworkers who spoke in tongues and blessed me with feathers, I now have an orb of light protecting my space as it moves through time,” she explained. After attending her daily bikram kundalini ashtanga acro yoga class Candace was on her way to her colonics appointme ..read more

“Namaste Bali tribe - I'm moving to Bali in 2027 and am looking for work in medicine part-time - so I can also focus on my eco leotard design company and hot yoga coaching career. I am trained as a Level 1 Reiki healer, ice bath facilitator, breathwork assistant, vegan lifestyle wellness coach and aura photographer - so I am more than qualified for ANY medical career on offer. I want flexible hours so I can continue on my fruitarian post trauma journey, keep up with my colonics, ecstatic dance improv training and my fasting. I will work for money, clothes, accommodation, food or exposure - is ..read more