Nation Terrified That Mike Johnson Is the Adult in the Room
The New Yorker Magazine » Borowitz Report
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6M ago
Americans wondered what sort of adult would deny the outcome of a legitimate election and believe the separation of church and state is a myth ..read more
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George Santos to Spend More Time with Imaginary Family
The New Yorker Magazine » Borowitz Report
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6M ago
The congressman thanked his children for taking care of his many imaginary pets, including a marmot and a python ..read more
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Furious Ohio Republicans Report Widespread Incidents of Women Voting
The New Yorker Magazine » Borowitz Report
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6M ago
“Many of our poll workers spotted women going into voting booths and literally casting votes,” a G.O.P. operative in Lake County said ..read more
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Ivanka Unable to Remember Name of Her Father
The New Yorker Magazine » Borowitz Report
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6M ago
Responding to a question about Donald Trump’s business dealings, Ms. Trump said, “I’m sorry. I’m not familiar with that person ..read more
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Every House Republican to Be Speaker for Four Minutes
The New Yorker Magazine » Borowitz Report
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6M ago
Future Speaker of the House George Santos of New York hailed the agreement as “the best idea I’ve seen in my thirty years in Congress ..read more
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QAnon Fears R.F.K., Jr., Will Take Votes Away from J.F.K., Jr.
The New Yorker Magazine » Borowitz Report
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6M ago
“I’m not a paranoid person,” a QAnon spokesman said, “but it almost seems like a conspiracy ..read more
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House Republicans Hold Emergency Meeting to See Who Has to Sit Next to Matt Gaetz
The New Yorker Magazine » Borowitz Report
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6M ago
“Colleagues have declared that, if they are required to sit next to Matt, they will retire from politics instead,” one legislator said ..read more
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George Santos Says If G.O.P. Lets Him Stay in Congress He Will Stop Using Their Credit Cards
The New Yorker Magazine » Borowitz Report
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6M ago
He also expressed “deep regret” for checking into the Bellagio Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas last weekend under the name Marjorie Taylor Greene ..read more
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Jim Jordan’s Speaker Bid in Jeopardy After He Accidentally Locks Himself in Bathroom
The New Yorker Magazine » Borowitz Report
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6M ago
Jordan’s inability to engineer an exit from his own restroom raised fresh questions about his fitness to be Speaker ..read more
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George Santos Declares Jim Jordan’s Identity Not Worth Stealing
The New Yorker Magazine » Borowitz Report
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6M ago
The New York representative told his colleagues, “I would be embarrassed to use any credit card with Jim Jordan’s name on it ..read more
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