When cellist Matthew Barley was 16 he tried to take his own life following a drug-induced psychotic episode. He then went on to channel everything into music until in 2019 the trauma of the event resurfaced. We speak to Matthew about his experience of psychosis, looking back on his experiences and the process of trauma therapy and the impact of ayahuasca. He takes us through writing music for his new album based on the events and discusses the way the classical music world views mental health conditions matthewbarley.com ..read more

This was a big one for Things Musicians Don't Talk About: our first live show!!!! We are so grateful to the London Podcast Festival for inviting us to take the stage with the exceptional Ayanna Witter-Johnson. Hattie and Becca talked a little bit about the conception of the podcast and their own mental health journeys, and then chatted with Ayanna about her background and career in music. Ayanna talks brilliantly about the intricacies of making her own unique career despite not fitting into a traditional classical music pathway, and elaborates on feeling like an outsider, failures and rejecti ..read more

We're back with our first interview after the summer! The brilliant Laure Chan speaks with Hattie and Becca about her cross-cultural, genre-bending creative endeavours and her journey to musical authenticity. How did Laure get into composing whilst already being an established violinist? How does she explore her own identity through the medium of music? How did her shoulder injury affect her outlook on making music? Find out by listening to Things Musicians Don’t Talk About. Follow Laure on Instagram TikTok Youtube Spotify or visit her website ..read more

Trigger warning: eating disorders, weight (no specific numbers) A different format of episode this week! Becca reads out her latest blog on her body, her identity and her fears about the possibility of a life of ‘sizing-up’. She answers some questions afterwards about the blog, talking about the male gaze, the concept of numbers in recovery and the physicality of trumpet playing. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal ..read more

Reflecting on recent trips back to our former music schools and colleges, we chat about the complex emotions that arise when revisiting places of past trauma. We discuss the challenges of addressing mental health in educational settings, wondering if our message is relevant to current students, and the lasting impact of architecture and locations on our wellbeing. We also explore the nuances of loneliness, and share our personal journeys of making peace with specific London locations. Link to the book recommended by Becca: https://www.olivialaing.com/lonely-city ..read more

When cellist Ruth Philips was 29 and studying in America, she left her room as she wanted it to be found after her death. So certain was she that the performance approaching her would be the end of her life. Now, Ruth is sought after for her whole, integrative approach as a cello teacher, mindfulness practitioner and performance coach. She speaks to us about her journey towards discovering mindfulness, reframing the word 'practice' and encouraging others to consider the violent language we frequently use as musicians and music teachers. We explore how kindness and self-love can be a difficult ..read more

We thought we'd celebrate hitting 3,000 Instagram followers as some sort of milestone in this crazy journey to cultivate much-needed honesty in the music industry! Every follower, every listener we connect with feels like a little headway in making change in the culture. In this episode, we take some time to look back on our podcast journey so far, reminiscing about how we became a duo and how TMDTA has grown over the past 4 years. Thanks to questions from our listeners, we also reflect on our personal experiences with mental health, music schools, and our hopes about what has changed since w ..read more

In this episode of Things Musicians Don't Talk About, Becca sits down with Chloé van Soeterstède in her dressing room at the Royal College of Music. Chloé shares her personal experiences of working as a musician alongside pregnancy and then motherhood. She walks us through her journey - from figuring out with her manager when might be the best time to get pregnant, to performing while visibly pregnant and giving birth naturally with the aid of mental preparation. Chloé also opens up about challenges like pumping breastmilk between rehearsals on tour and traveling internationally with a newborn ..read more

Another chatty episode for you lovely lot! This was recorded for our last Voices radio slot in February 2023. Hattie and Becca chat about queerness in classical music, exploring our opinions on the films Tár and Maestro, and how we feel power dynamics and hero-worship were portrayed in them. As we've seen over the past few decade or so, teacher-student relationships can be such a dangerous environment if those positions of authority are abused, and so we take a further look into what exactly it is about them that musicians don't talk about and why. We always love to hear from our listeners, a ..read more

This week we come to you (unintentionally) from the Royal Opera House! We speak with composer, theatre-maker, and journalist Zygmund de Somogyi about growing up with Autism Spectrum Disorder, not fitting in to the classical music world, discovering the world of composing, their experiences of imposter syndrome and feeling disconnected from the world around them. Zyggy is now studying opera composition and discusses how they fell into opera and what it's like to work as an opera composer in the current climate. Thank you to Zyggy for their brilliant honesty and commitment to talk about the thin ..read more