Barbie Episode! Cara finally gets the upper hand by having both Erin and Mindy at the table. At long last, a break from this sausage fest. And just in time. We read more of these short outrs and add a few more dudes to the character roster. For whatever reason these next outs are part of the Book of Omni, who’s probably the founder of Vega’s own Club Omni. Even with these short entries, we see some resume padding. I’ll bet these guys were also all over five foot-five, that was history’s six-footer amongst pre-columbian Judaic sects. And then we get a moment with the editor, Mormon! In case you ..read more

This is a very special 30th episode because it started this summer when Kelly sat down to record with us at Revival and, well, it was the most magical, funny, insightful episode we’ve ever recorded. Seriously, I think it was going to be our pièce de résistance but tragedy struck and the battery we were using to power the recording equipment failed and when it did it corrupted the recording. We lost like 56 minutes of magic. This was our 116 lost pages moment.  Do we try and re-record it? No! That was magic and to try and rebottle that lightning would be to spit the face of the muse—which ..read more

Oil wrestling or mud wrestling? That's really all we need to figure out. I mean, there's an obvious choice, but Bronze skips over that and gets dirty.  Look, we know it can't be easy to make brass plates in pre-columbian Panama but it feels like Jacob's lack of initiative has been passed on to every one of his descendants. Nephi must have known this and wanted the sweetest gigs for his kids. Be king, young man. Younger brother, uh, how about "Prophet"? I really want to see these plates. You know the last few pages of Nephi's "small" plates must have had tiny little characters scribbled ..read more

We are joined by Michael, no stranger to podcasting, and we get to dive into the juiciest tale so far in BOMcast!  Tell me Jacob's a low-energy beta without telling me he is... start a story with an apology, regularly use the wrong agricultural terms (olive vineyard much?!), and rebuff the advances of the one beautiful soul in this world who cares about you whilst you go on about some idea you stole from Zenos (Jesus!, how could a prophet with such a badass name produce the worst parable ever?) and butcher it in the retelling. Jacob and Sharem's relationship is beyond sus, but, for real ..read more

Mike and Cousin Sterling help us put a nail in The Book of Jacob Chapter iii and not a moment too soon. This has to be the worst parable ever. It's like a Martha Stewart had a breakdown and started maiming olive trees to get back at an ex kind of vibe. Also, did you know that Avatar blue is the bitterest color in the universe? Of course, you did.  But also, that might make it even more brilliant. Joseph writes this sad sack, street dwelling, chronic masturbater in Jacob, and Jacob gives us the worst parable. If you think about it even a little bit, it messes with you 'cause that's what a ..read more

Nate gives us the best opening story so far and then we're in it. We cast Rick Moranis as Jacob and Jacob tries his best to measure up to his dad and older brother with an extend parable/analogy involving an Olive Vineyard. That's right. Not an olive orchard, grove, or garden. A vineyard because unfortunately, Joseph Smith couldn't imagine anything profound that wouldn't get you drunk. Fortunately, we were so we powered through. And you all get to meet the worst boss ever--he's like a teenage manager who lords over that he knows everything even though the only reason he knows everything is be ..read more

We got to read with Chad again! Can we just say that Jacob’s our favorite? I mean, sure who do we have to compare him to? Enos, played by Prince Herbert of the Swamp? Nephi, who's one of the best-written characters but God, he's the worst. Jacob is so relatable with his earnest whining about carpal tunnel and his obvious addiction to high-definition Liahona porn (like father, like son).   Did you know that Jacob predicted a Messianic orgasm 100 years before it happened? See, he's the best! Take that Nephi and Isaiah ..read more

Gonzo talks to Mike (Mormons on Mushrooms) about Lehi's Tree of Life dream. Mike is our first, and hopefully, not last expert on BOMcast. His background in depth psychology, dream analysis, his penchant for the absurd, and his delightful laugh serve him very well as he helps us explicate this crazy dream. We cover it all: Party mansion on the hill? Check! Smiter in the sex dungeon? Check! Iron rod as a phallic symbol? Check! Tree of life and magic fruit? Check! But we go into new territory too! Mists of darkness in the valley; could they be a vaginal reference and/or a nod to the divine fem ..read more

It's the core crew. We start off-script and miraculously manage to read a bit of Jacob.  We managed to bring it together, but some of the tangents during the intro were too tangential. But fear not; keep an eye out on IG for out-of-context-outtakes. We promise they wouldn't make any more sense with context.  Totally factual revelations in this episode: Jacob's probably talking passive-aggressively about one specific guy, and that guy's probably his wife's ex-boyfriend or maybe current boyfriend I mean, he's racist, but like that's not new information Oh, Jacob! Why's your right for ..read more

Is it finally Jacob’s turn to shine? “Reggie” (Cara’s favorite false name) joins us to kick off Jacob and while we kind of hate to admit it Jacob is his own character. But the thing is he’s not Nephi. Not the mob-boss cult leader his brother was we imagine poor Jacob turning the family profession—street preaching—into sad-sap complaining to any who will listen. Fortunately, he’s got a technological advantage; he’s writing on metal. So even if his neighbors won’t listen future generations will have to listen. And we got exotic fibers in this one, yo. Can you guess where Lycra comes from? Wrong ..read more