In times of stress routine is a life saver. In times of stress, loss, and change, the most important coping skill is taking control of your time. You must establish a routine. Picture a fish out of water. That’s how a person feels in the midst of grief, loss, or any major life change. Without a plan they flip, flop, and ultimately flounder. Regular sleep patterns are the foundation of routine. Establishing regular sleep wake cycle is easier said than done since we tend to be more restless sleepers when we are stressed. So, here are a few tips. 1.   Turn off electronics one hour b ..read more

Roman Catholic refers to a religious body that acknowledges the pope as its authority and the Vatican as the center of ecclesiastical unity. The Catholic Church’s position on death is as follows … From the General Introduction of the Order of Christian Funerals: “The Church intercedes on behalf of the deceased because of its confident belief that death is not the end… The Church also ministers to the sorrowing and consoles them in the funeral rites with the comforting word of God and sacrament of the eucharist.”   Funeral services for a Catholic, in their entirety, will have three parts ..read more

When a person is in the midst of grief, taking care of themselves can get lost in the mayhem. There really are so many things to do. Eating well, exercise, and even sleep just don’t seem that important. The reality is that grief takes a lot of energy. Self-care might just be the most important item on the agenda. If you know someone who is grieving, feed them. Make it easy. Take them something to eat. The effort of ordering a meal or getting dressed to go out to eat can be overwhelming to a person who is mourning a loss. If you are grieving, buy a few easy-to-prepare foods. Eggs and sou ..read more

Sometimes the future feels bleak. For those struggling with a recent death in their family or just beaten down by the news, it can be difficult to look forward, to anticipate, to feel hopeful.  Most of us are removed from the rituals of spring. The tilling of the earth, getting our hands in the compost, planting seeds, all simple pursuits that are, by their nature, full of hope. Even if you are living in a community that takes care of your landscape, or a group living arrangement or even in a big city high rise it is really not that hard to grow something. Something that you can nurture ..read more

Let’s face it everyone will have one, a final resting place that is. The questions you should be asking are where is it? Can it be found in the future should a family member want to do so? Is the final resting place protected? Is it hallowed ground? Will the place endure? Most of us know exactly where our great grandparents are “resting.” It’s in a cemetery somewhere. Even when the grave is half a continent away and we never get there to put flowers on the grave, we know where they are. Will our grandchildren know where we rest? For those who would like to be buried in a cemetery ·  ..read more

On February 24 th , twenty thousand mourners filled downtown Los Angeles' Staples Center — “the house that Kobe built” — to celebrate the lives of the 41-year-old Lakers star and his 13-year-old daughter, who were killed alongside seven others in the crash in Calabasas. With tears streaming down his face, Michael Jorden spoke about his “big brother” mentoring relationship with Kobe. Beyoncè sang KO, one of Kobe’s favorites, and his wife Vanessa bravely spoke about her daughter, her husband, and her loss.   Kobe’s life is not the first to be celebrated in a large public way. Princess Dian ..read more

Maybe you’ve said it, or thought it? “I don’t need a funeral. You can just bury me in the backyard”. That’s the male version of negating the need for a funeral. But the sentiment is not unique to men. Women just say it differently. “I don’t want you to make a fuss. I don’t need a funeral.” These folks are right. The person who died doesn’t need a funeral. They just need a legal, respectful disposal of their body. It’s the people who are left to do the work of grieving that need the support and community from a funeral. Princess Diana, Michael Jackson, Aretha Franklin, John McCain, and most r ..read more

As we begin to learn more about religious practices outside of our own, it is sometimes surprising to find how much different faiths have in common. Mourners of all faiths understand the power of grief and the comfort of community. So, what happens when a person of the Jewish faith dies, and how can a person outside that faith support a friend or neighbor who is grieving?   In order to support a person of the Jewish faith when they have experienced a loss, one must learn about the Kaddish and sitting Shiva. According to Jewish Law anyone who has lost a parent, sibling, child, or spouse r ..read more

These days we’re hearing a lot about life celebrations. A funeral is a ceremony for someone who has died and the survivors. A celebration of life is a funeral with a celebratory feel and it may or may not have a faith-based component. Celebrating the life of the accomplished, the kind, and the generous feels natural. It feels like something we should do. On the other hand, what do we do about the “broken” people? The bullies, the addicted, the angry, or those who just never got it all together. What do we do when they die? Most of us have one or more imperfect people in our immediate circle ..read more

Nothing means more to a grieving child, spouse, sister, brother or friend than a personal note from the deceased. It’s something that will be cherished. The note will make its way out of it’s safe keeping spot whenever the mourner needs to feel close to the person who died. It will be read on those tearful days that are sure to come. It will also be read on those days that are full of joyful remembrance. The note doesn’t have to be eloquent. It doesn’t have to be brilliant or witty. It doesn’t have to be long. It just needs to tell the person how you feel about them. The writer might also ..read more