there are moments when we see or hear something that makes us know there is such a thing as beauty. we each may find beauty in different moments, but I suspect many will find these words, about the lessons a mother teaches a daughter, to be beautiful. i did. And I'm going to paint solar systems on the backs of her hands so she has to learn the entire universe before she can say, 'Oh, I know that like the back of my hand ..read more

When I speak with my friends these days, the topic of our parents is a common one, whether a simple update on their health or a longer discussion about a particularly troubling challenge. Having watched one parent die two years ago after battling dementia and multiple strokes and now watching another parent struggle with a disease that stole her ability to easily walk or open a water bottle virtually overnight, I know that these years can be the hardest years, both for our parents and for us. But with the obligation of caring for a parent comes opportunity. Becoming a parent to our parents is ..read more

this is not a post about emerging competitors to Facebook. no, this is a post about facebooks. with an "s" and without the capitalization. yes, indeed there was once things called "facebooks" and some of us even remember what they were. indeed, when i was in college one of the first things you received upon arrival at campus was a facebook. this was an actual book (!!!) and it provided the names and dorm locations of each student. it was sort of like a telephone book for your college. (what are telephone books again?) so i was chatting with my nieces recently and mentioned that I had used the ..read more

as a woman who waited until she was 44 to get married, i learned to get comfortable with doing things on my own. whether that was going out for dinner, taking a trip or more mundane tasks like packing up multiple apartments on my own, i found a way to enjoy life without a companion always by my side. was this always easy? absolutely not. after a certain age, there are moments when it feels everyone has coupled in some form or fashion. holidays were particularly challenging; even spending those days with my immediate family was not a salve because each of my four siblings had also gotten hitche ..read more

it’s been ten years! when i began posting on facebook, my “handle” (ok, that’s not a social media term and i am in fact showing my age!) was @lovingpinkat40. well, on March 15 i will need to update that to reflect the decade that has passed. but guess what? I still love pink. i wrote about my love for pink and my belief that yes, pink is indeed work appropriate ten years ago. so I won’t do so again. (check out sensational sophisticated women for serenewhimsy on facebook if you want to see my love of pink at age 4!) so what, if anything, has changed? tons of stuff but, as to pink, I have super ..read more

thanksgiving has passed and I am thankful. thankful that my guests had fun and that both family and friends felt comfortable in my home. but perhaps the day was better — at least less anxiety inducing for me — because I started the day recognizing that the day is not about the quality of the turkey or the perfection of the place setting. my mother was anxious though. having spent most of my adult life across the country, this was my debut hosting the annual family meal. she believes in me, but only the naive host eleven guests in a New York City apartment and assumes all will go well. but what ..read more

If you have read any fashion magazine recently, you may have seen the debate about the use of the term “anti-aging” in the world of personal care. The marketing folks now reject that term because, apparently, it sheds aging in a negative light. The new buzzwords are “healthy aging,” “aging well” or some similar phrase. These new words, so the argument goes, are part of the lexicon of an industry that embraces aging — done in the right way. Some of this word soup reflects real change. One example of this is the nature of product claims. Companies now focus more on skin characteristics that refl ..read more

I have spent countless hours on the phone with customer service representatives from phone companies, internet providers and assorted others.   this is the consequence of a world where electronic stalking has become all too easy.  and if someone has access to your device?  well, I hate to say it, but it is almost impossible to protect yourself. we all know the rules: use a VPN, make your password hard to guess, use secondary authorization, etc., etc.  i never wanted to be the messenger for what i now understand:  if someone is motivated enough to stalk you, none of the ..read more

If you are of a certain age, you may well remember the movie “The Graduate.”  A young Dustin Hoffman stars as a graduate student obsessed with the sexy — and much older — Mrs. Robinson. We need to bring the inimitable Mrs. Robinson back.  We need to remind the world — particularly the world of marketing  — that many of us are Mrs. Robinson, albeit lacking that amazing husky voice.   We are over forty and we are sensual and sexy.  We know this to be true; a quick glance at how we move will reveal that we are comfortable — even gloriously happy — in our own skin. The wor ..read more

Like many people of my age, I am in the midst of living with my new reality of trying to assist a parent who is increasingly unable to manage life’s daily routines on their own. The experience has brought me through the utterly awful systems we have to take care of our elders — hopefully some of the lessons I have learned will help others facing similar circumstances. Facing The Hard Questions Now What I have taken from this experience (aside from the many lessons learned about the challenges of aging) is the immediate need to reevaluate my own plans and preparation for the day when I will nee ..read more