Sex and pornography addiction is on the rise. It can affect young and old, rich and poor, male and female. Those who are in the grip of this type of addiction struggle to create and maintain "real-life" relationships, and their partners may experience feelings of grief and betrayal. In this episode Andrew talks with psychotherapist Dr Paula Hall about pornography and sex addiction. Andrew and Paula discuss: What we mean by “addiction” in this context. How pornography can wreck a couple’s sex life. Starting your recovery.  Moving forward as a couple if one of you has a pornography or sex ..read more

An anxious attachment style is very common, and can lead to chaotic and unsuccessful relationships. Research suggests that anxious types are more prone to insecurity, jealousy, codependency, and other behaviours that get in the way of finding and sustaining love.  In this episode psychotherapist Jessica Baum talks with Andrew about identifying and understanding our attachment style, and building the inner resources required to create more secure, happier relationships.  Jessica Baum is the founder of The Relationship Institute of Palm Beach, and the author of Anxiously Attached: How ..read more

People-pleasing is an ultimately futile and self-defeating approach to life. If we focus on making everyone else happy, we can end up frustrated, confused and resentful. Ironically, in trying to be “Mr Nice Guy”, people-pleasers often end up driven into behaviour that is anything but nice. This week Andrew talks to therapist and author Dr Robert Glover about why people-pleasing is an inauthentic way to exist, and how it often leads to destructive patterns including: Giving to get Difficulty setting boundaries Dishonesty Caretaking,  Fixing Codependency,  Conflict avoidance,  Pa ..read more

If our partner really loved us, wouldn’t everything be a lot easier? If they were “the one”, surely we wouldn’t be losing our minds over towels dropped on the bathroom floor? In this episode marital therapist Dr Cheryl Fraser joins Andrew to discuss the destructive myth of the soulmate. According to Cheryl, there is no such thing as a soulmate. When we set aside the naive expectation that love will conquer all, we can begin to learn the skills required to build lasting intimacy.  Dr Cheryl Fraser is the author of Buddha’s Bedroom, and the therapist behind the Become Passion online immersi ..read more

Good therapy changes lives: people stop worrying as much, they make better decisions, they are kinder to themselves and their loved ones, they achieve more at work, they can control their anger, they are able to stop destructive habits, they form loving relationships. This week therapists Graham Johnston and Matt Wotton talk to Andrew about their new book, A Straight Talking Introduction to Therapy. Matt and Graham both experienced the transformative power of effective therapy, and both left lucrative, high-status careers to retrain as therapists. They discuss the evidence that therapy wo ..read more

How can we live with loss? What can we do when death shakes to the core our comfortable belief that life is predictable, the world is just, and people are reliable?  This week Dr Robert A. Neimeyer of the Portland Institute for Loss and Transition joins Andrew to discuss the work of grief. Andrew and Robert discuss the task of rebuilding meaning in the face of death, relationship breakdown or unwelcome life transitions. Robert shares his “six tasks of grief”, which are designed to help integrate loss into our lives.  Dr Robert A. Neimeyer directs the Portland Institute ..read more

Have you allowed yourself to explore your sexual fantasies, or do they feel like dark territory that is off-limits? Have you explored them with your partner? This week I talk to Jungian psychotherapist Dr Douglas Thomas about his new book, The Deep Psychology of BDSM and Kink. We cover: Why it’s so hard to talk about your fantasies with your partner. How Jungian archetypes can provide a language to better understand BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism) and kink. Whether BDSM can be a path to individuation and bringing soul into the world.  Dr Douglas Thomas is an author and ..read more

Estrangement from adult children can be one of the most disorienting and painful experiences of a parent's life.  This week, Andrew talks to Dr Joshua Coleman, the author of Rules of Estrangement. They discuss: Why estrangement has become so common Why estrangement isn’t a one-sided story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adult children. Approaches parents can take to achieve reconciliation with children and grandchildren. Techniques for starting a conversation. Dr Coleman’s own experience of estrangement from his daughter.  Dr Joshua Coleman is a psychologis ..read more

For many women, intense caring and nurturing relationships cause their inner fire to dim, leaving them feeling they have lost themselves. Author and Jungian analyst Lisa Marchiano’s new book is called The Vital Spark: Reclaim Your Outlaw Energies and Find Your Feminine Fire. Lisa wrote the book to help women “break free from the conditioning that has kept them confined to rigid roles and muffled the sound of their soul”. Andrew and Lisa discuss the eight qualities Lisa identifies in the book: shrewdness, disagreeableness, desire, trickiness, sexuality, anger, authority, and ruthlessness. They ..read more

Menopause is a seismic transition for women, and for their partners. The physical and emotional changes it brings will undoubtedly reverberate into a couple’s sex life.  Irish therapist Beth Wallace believes that this transition can be an opportunity rather than an ending. While decreases in hormones definitely impact women’s bodies in some detrimental ways (which will need management), decreased satisfaction with our sensual and sexual lives is NOT inevitable. Andrew and Beth discuss the ways in which the natural changes of menopause can be a time to reflect on desire, expectations and s ..read more