Ten year anniversary of this blog!
Janitorqueer
by janitorqueer
10M ago
Ten years ago, today, I started “janitorqueer.” I wanted to write about being queer, specifically genderqueer, and about being a janitor. Mostly though, I wanted to find and connect with others who had similar stories. I wanted to be on testosterone long-term, but I was afraid that it was going to do irreversible “damage” to ..read more
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Ten years on testosterone (and also off, on, back off/on, etc.)
Janitorqueer
by janitorqueer
10M ago
Prior to finally trying testosterone, ten years ago today, I was stressing so hard about whether to do it or not. Perseverating for years, really. If I could go back to that younger version of myself, I’d say, “Just try the dang thing! It doesn’t have to mean anything in particular, as far as identity ..read more
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Specific trauma feels so far away
Janitorqueer
by janitorqueer
10M ago
For as long as I’ve had this blog (9 years!), I’ve written annually around this time of year, about a hospitalization I went through at age 17. I was there for 19 days; it was voluntary but quickly became involuntary once it was clear I wasn’t actually based in reality. This year, I wasn’t sure ..read more
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Addressing hate mail
Janitorqueer
by janitorqueer
10M ago
I got some hate mail yesterday, and decided to respond. Anonymous asked, Why the fuck are you doingvthis [sic] to yourself and causing other people to follow you. [sic] The main reason I’m doing “this” to myself is because I value the quality of my life. I’m just going to have to venture a guess ..read more
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Laura Jane Grace and Her Dysphoria Hoodie
Janitorqueer
by janitorqueer
10M ago
On Wednesday, a friend posted on social media that he had an extra ticket to go see singer/songwriter/trans icon/punk rocker Laura Jane Grace in the next town over, and did anyone want to take him up on it? My first reaction was, “Oh wow! I would love to see her!” Followed by, “Damn, I have ..read more
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Haircut
Janitorqueer
by janitorqueer
10M ago
Last week, I got my hair cut by a professional for the first time in over 20 years. Why haven’t I done this sooner?! I was aware that I had acquired some stubborn habits around my hair, and I was planning to go to someone to intervene, but it still took me a long time ..read more
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Incorporating a traumatic event into a narrative, pt. 2
Janitorqueer
by janitorqueer
10M ago
Every year around this time, since starting this blog eight years ago, I revisit the events surrounding a hospitalization that happened when I was 17. That was 22 years ago now, and I’m getting closer toward a goal of sharing my writing about it with a wider audience. Two years ago, I wrote, “Maybe one ..read more
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Electric Plush
Janitorqueer
by janitorqueer
10M ago
This essay and accompanying collage were first published for Femme Salée’s zine issue Perverse Bodies, Winter 2021. More about this awesome collective of artists, writers, and curators can be found at Femme Salée. On Halloween afternoon, 2009, I was running around doing last minute things like my head was cut off. Our inaugural variety show was kicking off that ..read more
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Back on testosterone, yet again
Janitorqueer
by janitorqueer
10M ago
I like to make note of when I’m on and off testosterone, and this time, I’m way behind on mentioning it – I’ve been back on since July 20th. I hit it hard initially with a pretty high dose (100mg per week) and then lowered it to 60mg per week. So far, my menstrual cycle ..read more
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Working 9-5
Janitorqueer
by janitorqueer
10M ago
Last Wednesday, I asked my supervisor if I could work from 9am – 5:30pm for the rest of the summer, and he agreed. And then it struck me all over again that I’ve never worked this standard shift before in my life – I’ve worked almost everything except, spanning from super early to super late ..read more
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