Calling all girls to ROC and RISE. As you should, must, can and will. My heart sinks so low when teen girls tell me they’ve been told they can’t be in the ‘group’ any more. Out. Rejected. No longer wanted. Recess and lunch breaks becomes a frightening and lonely time. The girl wondering around the school. Is she the ousted one? Is that you? Is that your daughter or your friend? The Group Leader… usually the ‘popular girl’ with a whole heap of unhealthy power and inflated ego (perhaps even battling her own issues), combines forces with her desperate-to-please ‘Deputy Leader’ and together they ..read more

Me – Hey mate My Son – I’ve been in an accident. Me – Are you ok? My Son – I think so. The guy ran a red light and t-boned me big time. He was flying. The police, ambo and fire are here. Me – ’m on my way. Me & hubby – Drop and drive. Stress. Worry. Fear. Hope. Repeat. Seeing this unfold and in hearing a teenager’s reflection following such an event reminded me of the various ways young people respond and react to trauma. In observing him, these points stood out for me….. 1. He was concerned for and highly aware of the impact of the others guy’s big mistake and the likely consequences ..read more

Can we take a moment to talk about teenagers and silver linings. Times are tough right now and if the conversations I’ve been having with teenagers and young adults on zoom are anything to go by, they are feeling this world ‘situation’ big time. I thought I would share some of the truths teens and young adults are speaking out loud as they imagine months of staying at home doing life in a way that they/ we have never experienced before. When I hear their words, I meet teens where they’re at, right there with them in the mud. Big time acknowledgement of their thoughts and worries, and we stay t ..read more

Bunker down and reconnect with your family is the advice we’re reading and hearing and I think it’s spot on. BUT, like most families you will be looking for tips and tools to make this possible. Let’s face it, it can take some getting used to being around our family 24/7 with no way out! Especially given teenagers are at a time in their lives when they want to connect with their friends, be out and about and enjoy their independence and sense of freedom. You’re not alone. Despite the tilted view of perfect families flooding social media, many families are feeling it, struggling in this curre ..read more

I know so many teenagers who will have to leave boarding school (their home since year 7), not go to the ball, play in their grand final, compete in their rowing finale, engage in a service tour to Vietnam, play music in Singapore, go to Camp America, travel with their mates, miss a whole season of sport and have their favourite venues and hangouts shut down and those who have now lost their job. It’s a big deal when the world as you know it is being closed off at every turn. Straight up, in times of change and extreme uncertainty, let’s grant ourselves and our teenagers permission to plummet ..read more

Get to know your Teen’s Love Language. Consistency is key. Let’s talk about languages of love. Perhaps you’ve read the book ‘The Five Languages of Love,’ one of the many classics by Gary Chapman. It’s an absolute cracker, first released in 1992 and is still going strong around the world today. We know our innate need to receive and give love is a big ticket item in the human quest for ongoing health and wellbeing; mentally, socially, emotionally,  physically and spiritually. Love has large shoes to fill, so it makes sense we explore the wisdom of Gary Chapman and relate it back to teenage ..read more

What happens when teens practise personal put-downs? Teenagers can slide in and out of stages and phases, but what happens if they slide into an obvious pattern of repeated verbal put downs towards oneself? You hear it, see it and feel it. It’s yuck, it hurts, it’s damaging. I’m an idiot I’m a loser I’m stupid I’m a ………., the list is long. Words have power and when repeated often enough, teens start to belief the harmful words they are directing towards self. Words have weight which can attack their core identity and sense of self-worth. When we hear our teens giving them selves a hard time ..read more

Teenagers are learning how to build their own wide and varied emotional vocabulary and that’s a good thing. Having this skill places teenagers in a better position to understand and work with their emotions and feelings, not against them. An extended vocabulary supports teenagers in maintaining a more healthy and balanced perspective about themselves and it helps to lesson the mystery and heaviness associated with some emotions. Building a rich vocabulary bank that extends beyond sad, unhappy, negative and depressed is both powerful and empowering. Selection offers choice and choice leads the ..read more

MONDAY MORNING MINDSET – ROC THOUGHT I am meeting so many teenagers who speak of their week like many adults speak of theirs. Monday to Friday are a total grind and weekends are wonderful. Ten year olds are talking of Sunday night blues, thirteens are sharing their dislike for Monday, fifteens smile on Wednesday because it’s half way day, sixteens are waking up happier on Thursday knowing they’re nearly there and Friday, well we know how that goes.. many teenagers emerge from a heavy self-created cloud of below-the-line thinking and transform their outlook on life to one of wonder, joy, fun a ..read more