You know that moment when your favorite cup somehow slips through your fingers, and – BANG! It is on the floor, broken, in a dozen of pieces. It is always so sudden, a shock – and yet, we move on from it, don’t we? You might tell yourself off, get upset, but then, you keep going. But sometimes our very own thought might trigger a much more violent reaction inside of ourselves. Here’s what I mean: I am working away on my play – it’s the process I love, it’s the time that I treasure, but this moment, this week, it has somehow gone wrong: There was something the character said that just didn’t s ..read more

Hello, my friend! I hope you’re having a phenomenal week! I hope there were moments of deep and authentic connection – in sharing your true thoughts and feelings, and being there for others, to listen, and hold space, embrace. And if you do not have the opportunity to spend time with the people you love, I am giving you a great big open hug! Hope you feel it, my friend, and I’m here. Know this, please –  it’s a testament to your drive and energy that you put into staying in touch! And it only gets harder and harder: We’re all busy in running our lives, and we’re dealing with our own stru ..read more

Once upon a time, in a land much like our own, there was a little girl who lived in the streets. And it was a good life – the only one that she knew, anyway. She learned to fish in the small shallow river that ran through the town, and digging out tubers she found in the parks. She chased about men in their tall fancy hats, asking for change – and some gave her mercy. You do what you do to get by. This one time, she followed a man, who kept himself hiding. It was the end of the alley, and nowhere to turn. Then he turned to face her, and she found that something was off. A gaping hole opened i ..read more

We know all about markers for physical health – body mass index, heart rate, glucose levels, but what about mental health? In a culture where mental health is now part of the conversation, we know very little about what we can actually measure on personal level in just such a way that you know that you’re winning. As I look back at my personal history of grappling with mental health, it’s very clear: The most impactful change has been befriending my body. For thirty six years, we lived as if strangers – just sharing the same space, with no interaction, not even acknowledging each another. And ..read more

When you are born in this world, you so want to be loved – you are confident in your own ability to love, and to give love in the presence of human who’s opened their heart. When you’re learning to walk, you keep trying and trying – you are confident in your ability to keep trying, as you see people moving around you. When you’re learning to talk, you have an urgent need to feel heard – you are confident in your ability to share your true thoughts with people in your life. In other words, confidence is how capable you feel in the presence of others. So what gets in the way? Our own experience ..read more

The moment you wake, and you’re facing the day, what hope are you taking on with you? What hope for yourself, for the people you care, the world as you want it to be: What hope do you wish to hold on to? This hope might be wondering, distant, or just out of sight – but stay with me, my friend, it’s there! Hope we can summon, and draw on this hope to sustain us, at the time when you’re needing it most: When you find yourself at your lowest, when your dream seems to slip through your fingers, when you step out to champion the person who is looking to you for support, inspiration and courage… Th ..read more

We all want to be more resilient don’t we, but how? Let’s start with one definition of what resilience that you might not have come across earlier: Resilience is accepting the inevitable challenges of life as situations that you can successfully cope with. That’s right, my friend – it does not mean you must crush this challenge by the power of your indomitable will!! Nor does it imply we put up with suffering daily. It is believing you can cope with the challenges that you’re facing today. It need not be perfect, or instant, but including this stress, struggle, awful experience in the categor ..read more

The person that helps you the most is person that you almost missed, or got through by chance. Isn’t it true? It’s the circumstance brings you together. How many times do we suffer in silence, and nobody knows how you suffer, the pain that you’re holding inside? In working with trauma survivors, I noticed that the first barrier to asking for help isn’t even the asking, but rather it’s seeing the truth for yourself: Here’s what I’m facing, and I don’t deserve to go through it alone. Uncovering this truth for yourself is harsh and painstaking work of seeing yourself and the chaos around you, bu ..read more

Past holds the pain, and it often gets triggered by smallest of things: Old photo, a song, throwaway comment, and then you find yourself small, stuck in the sorrow you don’t want to feel… When the wave of past hurt, or upset, or regret, when it that it washing you over, there comes a decisive moment: You either get dragged into the feeling, or – pull yourself away, away, and back to the moment you’re in, whatever is happening NOW. I often say that the road to your peace of mind now lies through sorting things out: When you separate things that you cannot control from the things that you can ..read more

When I’m thinking of shame, I can see myself naked, in bed, lying flat on my face. We had only just met, and we made it to my place, we’ve been tearing our clothes off… Only I cannot do it. I cannot have sex – again. There’s something that’s pulling me back, it’s from my past, past I can’t even see, feel, or get close… But it’s interrupting my life, right now. And I can’t even cry, just stare into the white emptiness. She says something, and her words they sound kind, but she’s walking away. Shame is all that you can’t do, and yet, we forget: All the beautiful things that you can! Yes, you can ..read more