All month long, I'm highlighting the coming-out stories of queer writers I've worked with 1:1 or inside my Write Yourself Out mentorship and community, as well as the stories of other awesome queer humans. Read Part 1 of the series here. Back in 2016, when I was still married to a man and grappling with my sexuality—was I gay? Bi? Sexually fluid? Maybe it was "just her"—this one female friend I was in love with?—I joined a secret Facebook group for women who were coming out or questioning their sexuality later in life. Like me, many of these women had been married to men for decades, had ..read more

As I proofread my memoir The Only Way Through Is Out one last time, I smiled as I noticed (and double-checked) all the time and place "anchors" my book coach had encouraged me to include. Like this anchor on page 1: "Evan, my ever-so-patient husband, said in our Montauk, New York, living room one fall afternoon in 2012.“ The reader knows exactly when and where this opening scene takes place. Like this anchor on page 20: "Eighteen years into our marriage, the argument was likely about ..." Here, the date was less important, but the reader needed to know when this argument took pla ..read more

A couple of months ago I did something that left me feeling somewhere between a wet noodle and a very burnt piece of toast. Picture a TED talk, with a Zoom room as the stage, and a memoir writer in a fugue state with dry mouth and shaky legs giving a 10-minute talk without notes. I’d been practicing this talk for weeks as part of a public speaking course that had one simple assignment: put together a signature talk. The talk could be related to your business. Or about a cause you’re passionate about. Or it could simply be your story. As a memoirist, my story was the logical choice. I had to be ..read more

All month long, I'm highlighting the stories of queer writers I've worked with 1:1 or inside my Write Yourself Out community, as well as the stories of other awesome queer humans. Read Part 1 of the series here. Read Part 2 here. Here are 3 more brave and beautiful stories: Charli's Story: They Knew They Were Queer Since Childhood Charli (they/them) knew they were queer since childhood and never officially came out to their family. As is true for many members of the LGBTQ+ community, their safety outweighed the risk of coming out to their family of origin. As they’ve gotten older they’ve come ..read more

Recently, I had an interesting exchange with a writer friend of mine who lives in a progressive bubble in the Pacific Northwest. ? She was remarking on how accepting everyone is now of the LGBTQ+ community. ? "They even paint the streets with rainbows during Pride!" She said of her hometown. I get why she felt that way. I used to feel that way too, curled up in my liberal bubble in the northeast, comfortable in my privilege living as a straight, white woman. I gently reminded my friend about what's happening in Florida and many other states. About the fact that Target pulled Pride garb from it ..read more

A couple weeks ago, I opened an email from the art director of my publisher entitled "Cover Design Introduction." Ahh ... covers. You've heard the expression "Don't judge a book by its cover," which means don't judge something by its outward appearance. But truth be told—don't we do that ALL THE TIME about many things? Especially with books. Covers are the ultimate marketing tool for a book. Does the cover make a potential reader curious about what's inside? Does it turn them on or repel them? Does it make them want to investigate further to find out what&nbs ..read more

An email from my editor showed up in my inbox last week. Subject line: "Title Talk." The marketing team had concerns about the title of my coming out later in life memoir. They were worried that a book called Graveyard of Safe Choices could potentially sound "like a real bummer." And my book is anything but. It's a hopeful story about finding the courage to leave the graveyard of safe choices, not wallow in it. I loved my title! I had gone through many other working titles and thought I had finally landed on a winner. After ..read more

My client, Chris Chandler, is about to become a published author! Her memoir Stay Sweet: Tales of Quirky Southern Love, will be published on May 12th, 2023 by Red Thread Publishing. I asked Chris to share her words of wisdom for memoir writers at the beginning of their journey now that she's on the other side. Here's the first part of her advice that I shared last week. Want the cliff notes version? Just do it. You don't have to know everything to get started. Here are two more pieces of advice from Chris: #1: My writing community has been invaluable to me, so I would definitely ..read more

I've been conducting "Author Chats" with former clients and other writers I'm connected to where we talk about their writing and publication journeys—and where I ask them to pass on their wisdom on to writers who are just getting started. I recently had the pleasure of speaking with Chris Chandler, a soon-to-be published memoir author. In the summer of 2021, Chris came to me with a loose collection of family stories that she wasn't sure what to do with. Over several months, Chris and I identified an overarching theme for her stories, revised the ones she'd already writ ..read more

A couple of weeks ago I began requesting blurbs for Graveyard of Safe Choices, my memoir about coming out later in life—which meant emailing authors I didn't know at all or I knew only a little to ask if they would spend THEIR precious time reading MY book and then endorsing it. I heard back right away from one author who said yes (thank goodness!). The other three, including one who is kind of a big wig in queer literary circles: radio silence. Maybe they were just busy. Maybe they missed the email in their overcrowded inboxes. Maybe they thought, "Who the hell i ..read more