If there was any question about the black-and-gold beaded rosary, one only needs to look down. At the foot of the concrete statuary figure in blue (a monk? saint? pious Orbit readers, help this heathen out!) is a grave marker in red granite. Along with the deceased’s name, dates, and engraved rope-like border, is the ..read more

Crunch. In a pizza crust, it’s an underused device. The teeth love to plunge into stretchy, chewy, hot-out-of-the-oven dough—don’t pretend your choppers aren’t salivating at the very suggestion of it. We love chewy. It’s fresh bread’s most distinctive glorious quality, right? Who’d want to crunch when she, he, or they can live inside a luxurious ..read more

Millvale’s (unofficial) micro gallery, one of many opportunities to see outside art … if you get there at the right time Off and on, for the last several years, one of the region’s most secretive art galleries has hidden in plain sight … you just have to know where to look, and get lucky when you do your looking. Across two faces of an ever-under-construction house in Millvale is a rotating gallery of both discarded / repurposed / found artwork and original, site-specific pieces attached directly to the exterior plywood of the would-be home. It’d be an odd thing to come across anywhere, but he ..read more

You’d be happy too if you had love in your heart and paint in your hair. Outside art on Mt. Oliver Relaxing in the sun is a curious figure. Large enough to be an elementary-aged child, the wooden man has a goofy grin, bespectacled eyes, and a red nose. “Dressed” in a patchwork of crazy patterns and colors, he’s very much in tune with the paint-splattered retaining wall he rests upon. As decoration or mascot for Johno’s Art Studio, Mt. Oliver, the little fellow could be considered anything from advertising shill (if you’re that cynical) to neighborhood character—at least, hopefully people look ..read more

John Lee is back with artist Rachel McFarlane Davis in a new two-person show at Unsmoke Systems in Braddock this Saturday. On a big open wall in a former Catholic school in Braddock hangs the largest painting artist John Lee has ever completed. Across its twelve foot span, an array of dancing figures—heads from all over the animal kingdom; bodies straight off American Bandstand—dance, twist, and turn in wild abandon. The painting still doesn’t have a title, but when it does it’ll have something to do with dead oceans and/or Bob Dylan. “People of the Sky and Earth” by John Lee “I just really li ..read more

Holy Mother of Jesus! Big Catholic, Ciudad de México-style I know, I know … I know. Wrong holiday, dude! Christmas was three months ago—this one’s supposed to be about Jesus! Believe me: in just a ten-day survey, there were Jesuses, crucifixes, arrows, death beds, and blood aplenty. Dyed eggs and bunnies? Notsomuch. If your author had properly thought ahead, maybe he’d have been able to put together a legit Easter sud de la frontera post, but this Easter—at least, here at The Orbit—you’re stuck with Mary. Crying time again. Crystalized teardrops Mary, San Miguel de Allende But with Mary—Mary ..read more

Everything Under the Sun: Kaufmann’s, The Big Store. One of many ghost signs for home goods. Tarentum Everything under the sun! Everything for everybody! Everything to wear! Believe it or not, The Internet didn’t invent superlatives, big promises, and in-your-face advertising. No, it just ceased to make them mean anything. We’re back with our second catch-all review of the ghost signs cleaned out of the attic. This time: house goods—department stores, clothing, furniture, hardware—you get the idea. Kaufmann’s, Homestead Ike ? Clothing, Ford City Sack’s Dept. Store, Burgettstown Brooks Departme ..read more

A painted ghost sign for Tom Tucker “That dirty mother … lover” Southern-style Mint Ginger Ale, probably from the 1950s-60s, faded and worn but still holding on. Brighton Road, Perry South. Blocked by a freestanding billboard for decades, the advertisement for Tom Tucker Southern-style Mint Ginger Ale may as well have been unearthed by archaeologists when it arrived out-of-the-blue a few years ago. A person can still purchase Tom Tucker, but it won’t come in a 32-ounce green glass bottle anymore. Looking every bit the champagne of Southern-style mint ginger ales it is, the big bottle was paint ..read more

Sunny city. A mural featuring the skyline of downtown Pittsburgh on the side wall of the Starlite Lounge, Blawnox One would think … well, this one would think a lot of things that don’t turn out to be anywhere close to reality. One would think we would have run out of babies by now—no one knows where they come from! And you’d think every square inch of human flesh would be tattoo’d by now, what with the prevalence of retail storefronts that administer ink. As much as we’d like to ask the hard questions around chicken fingers and vaping, political candidates and exactly who thinks Fred Armisen ..read more

Song poems wanted! Your original lyrics turned into guaranteed hit records! On this cusp of a brand new year, we’re going where we’ve never been before—to the world of crowd-sourced collaborative songwriting! Your original words + Orbit‘s crack team of music industry has-beens = guaranteed hit records! * Song poems started as low-rent, back-of-the-comic book scams—and maybe they still are!—but at least this one doesn’t cost you anything. Your original ideas put into words coupled with Orbit Sound Laboratories veteran song stylists’ studio wizardry can make your dreams come true and turn you in ..read more