If there was one thing I wish I learned sooner, it would be that the quest for perfection is an absolute stitch up. Throughout my 20s, it held me back from so many great opportunities, it poisoned my relationships and kept me living small. It only took a crippling vocal injury, a plunge down an existential abyss and 6-years (and countless books-worth) of studying psychology to show me why perfectionism is so toxic. But despite the pressure to be perfect, it is possible to gain a new perspective on things and learn to facilitate a more fruitful and friendly mindset. So, I’m doing my bit to sp ..read more

When life gets too much to handle, a soothing practice can be to zoom out of our weird little lives. It’s easy to become completely embroiled in the tedium and drama of existence, that we forget that the universe is perfectly indifferent to us being here. It’s sometimes called “cosmic insignificance therapy” and it can offer some relief in the moments when we feel suffocated by pressure, stress & expectations. We’re a tiny glimmer in an expansive universe across a vast time line. Who gives a shit if you said that awkward thing to that waiter two months ago? I also enjoy the equally comfor ..read more

When I had my breakdown/through a few years back and had the opportunity to start assembling my life from scratch, I started to ask myself questions like “what do I really want my life to look like?” So many of us live life for appearances - to look like we are happy, successful, accomplished. But why are we so eager for our lives to look like this? Usually, it’s because we think it will make us *feel* certain ways. It will make us *feel* happy, successful, accomplished. I knew all of the superficial things that I thought made ppl feel happy/successful/accomplished - those were what I was p ..read more

We’re never really taught how to navigate the big emotions - the ones that overtake us like a brutal and mighty storm. We distract ourselves from them (which can be useful at times), we deny them, battle them, and we push them down and hope they don’t rear their ugly heads again ( which they inevitably do). This strategy from ACT (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy) prompts a four-part process: ⚠️NOTICE what feelings, thoughts and sensations are arising in your body. ?ACKNOWLEDGE what this might represent, e.g. “Ok, I’m noticing I’m feeling anxiety right now.” ?MAKE SPACE for this experie ..read more

Gratitude. Compassion. Acceptance. Some knobs we all have at our disposal - many of which gather dust. We believe that our external situation must be “just right” for these to work or be applicable. We place all the power in people and outcomes outside of ourselves which is bound to leave us miserable and dissatisfied. Yes, it’s essential for us to acknowledge the challenges we’ve been through, and to acknowledge the difficult emotions that come with it. However, from there we have the power to curate our own perspective, where we can accept what can’t be changed, attend to the things that can ..read more

Not in a hopeless or pessimistic kind of a way. But in a liberating act of defiance - rebelling against the notion that we always need to have more, get more, be more. Sliding into 2022, here’s a few of the things I’m giving up on… ? TRYING TO OUTRUN MY FEELINGS. It’s exhausting and futile. Difficult feelings are part of the deal. I’m believing in myself and trusting that I’m big enough to hold all the feelings that show up - even the sticky, grizzly, heavy and hostile ones. ? PLEASING EVERYONE. Putting myself out there means butting heads with people that disagree with me or straight up do ..read more

If anyone was to ask me what was the single biggest contributor to my happiness, health, relationships and well-being, my answer would be this: Luck. Sure, I’ve done some stuff. Learned some things. Made some changes. However, many contributors that have supported me to grow, learn, connect and evolve have been entirely outside of my control: - my genetic structure, body & organs - the family I was born into - the parents I was born to - where in the world I was born - my skin tone, culture and gender - the socioeconomic class I was born into - all of the subsequent experiences & opp ..read more