Shining a light on meditation, trauma and living with wisdom!  Imagine you are living in a very dark room; life is generally ok, but you do have strange bruises on your shins from bumping into things and a terrible sneezing problem. As a psychologist and meditation teacher, I sit at the very interesting intersection of science (and the world of evidence-based practices and techniques) and wisdom traditions (and the depth of understanding regarding what it means to be human).  As the amount of scientific research into the efficacy of meditation as a tool to support our mental healt ..read more

When I was 19, I had the fabulously fortuitous experience of spending 6 months living in Italy. I ate, drank and tried to smoke (unsuccessfully!) like an Italian. Looking back, I am pretty sure I was depressed in my first month or so there, although we called it “culture shock” back then. I slept a hell of a lot and was desperately missing my friends, family and freedom (I was living with an Italian host family and went back to high-school, so had all of a sudden become a kid again). After a while though, I settled into life there and embraced the rich culture and incredible experiences Italy ..read more

She stands beside me and we smile, Knowing we belong to each other, Her and I, she and me. She trusts me, with all of my funny quirks, so completely. She rushes to soothe my bleeding knee or aching pride, As I lie bruised and tired from rushing too fast or trying too hard, She reminds me I am already perfect, And, that they are too.   She shows me the purple clouds of the sunset, And the sweetness in the tea, And she whispers gently in my ear, How lucky are we?   She waits patiently when I forget all the things, As I often do. And she lovingly welcomes me back home when I finally r ..read more

Meditation can offer so much opportunity for the growth and development of both individuals and teams in a workplace. However, it is important that any meditation initiative is offered with care. Here are some guidelines to consider when introducing meditation to the workplace:   Make it Optional – meditation has many proven benefits, one of them being the deepening of the relationship within ourselves. This relationship is sacred, and the individual should be invited to explore it, rather than be told they “have to” – especially within the workplace. It is suggested that meditation be o ..read more

Us and Our Kids and Perfectionism I have been pondering perfectionism a lot lately. Mainly because I have lived with it much of my life, as do so many of my clients. Many people say to me “I am such a perfectionist” with a smile on their face, almost as if they are proud of this tendency. Many parents smugly comment about their children “oh they are such a perfectionist” and I have to say, this concerns me.  I am here to tell you that being a perfectionist, while having socially desirable consequences (which we will explore shortly), can have massive costs to our bodies and minds in the ..read more

We can learn and access unconditional love in many ways - this is GREAT NEWS! “You are loved when you brush your teeth, You are loved when you won’t”  To all of the parents out there, what does this paragraph from my new book YOU ARE LOVED bring up for you? Is there are part of you that cringes at the thought of giving love to a child who does not do what is expected of them? I totally get it; I have that part sometimes too. The concept of unconditional love can be a tricky one to wrap our heads (and hearts) around, especially when a child is demonstrating behaviour we are not thrilled ..read more

All of us have learned and integrated many things of which we are completely unaware. Subtle messages or rules about who we are, how we should be and how the world works. In psychology, we call these “schemas” and, by and large, schemas are incredibly helpful. They allow us to organise and interpret vast amounts of information very quickly which means we can respond most effectively to our environment. Imagine if every time we went into a restaurant, we needed to relearn the process of asking for a table, sitting down, ordering from a menu, eating and then paying the bill! If we had to work i ..read more

 My legs are hairy, My hair is grey, Today feels much like yesterday, All the days have blurred together, And now we’re faced with crappy weather,   Zoffee (zoom coffees) catch ups are now a thing, Who knows what tomorrow will bring? So much change can leave us reeling, I’ve been nowhere but I have that jet lagged feeling.   This new reality is very weird, My husband has even grown a beard, Nowhere to rush to, No need to wear clothes, Nerf wars, “hey google” and craft is how our days go.   From this time, we will be forever changed, Nothing will ever be the same, We will h ..read more

How the “wellbeing industry” can over promise and under deliver, sometimes leaving us feeling worse  Some modern gurus would have us believe that when we are born, we are like pure, clean, fresh water. Untainted, open, loving, peaceful. It is only our early experiences that colour our water.  And so, we are told, we must work hard (through meditation or practicing gratitude or buying whatever miracle potion they are selling) to cleanse ourselves of the devilish colour the world has seeped onto and into us. And, then after years of work, if we don’t get “better” or “enlightened” it i ..read more

Why Anxiety and Depression are different sides of the same coin and why we must adopt a mind/body approach to our education, treatment and management of these mental health conditions.  “But what are you thinking Dad?”  I would persist as I perched on the end of the bed as he lay slumped there, staring at the ceiling, “nothing” would be his whispered response, “I just feel numb”.  My Dad has lived with clinical depression for 25 years and he is still trying to understand why he has it and how it works. As a psychologist, trained and working in Cognitive Behavioural therapy or C ..read more