I’m paying attention to the invitations that come my way, and am saying “Yes” to some of the ones that in the past would have scared me. Now I am observing a little tingle and taking a risk. I’m expanding my stretch zone. It’s also known as the ‘magic’ zone. It’s the territory we invite participants to step into during our workshops. With practice, our stretch zone becomes more comfortable and grows. It is a place where our learning can take place at a manageable pace. Anxiety is often one of the natural responses as part of the grief experience. However, if the events we offer seem too far ou ..read more

Almost every morning for the last twenty years I have taken the dog for a walk. Now both dogs have died and I am coming to terms with a small shift in identity. I am no longer one of the dog people who say hello or chat because they have a dog with them. I love the permission that having a dog (or a child) gives to speak to others. I have got to know many people of all backgrounds through having a four-legged friend by my ankles. Now it may seem odd that I choose to walk in the rain, without the cover of a dog. Loss is often coupled with questions of identity. People may not know what to reply ..read more

When natural conditions prevail, Birch is the first tree that will grow on open land, beginning the cultivation of a woodland. Glennie Kindred holds much knowledge about both the practical and symbolic ways of trees. “Birches are known as nurse trees, and their generosity and ability to nurture other trees and plants form part of their key signature picture. They do this via the nutrients and minerals that their root systems bring up from deep within the ground, and these are returned to the soil through their leaves as they shed them in the autumn, making the land fertile for other trees to f ..read more

The yew has long been associated with the end of the year. The original ‘yule log’ was from the yew tree, now represented in chocolate. Both the word yew and yule share derivation with the Old Norse word jól, the name of a long winter festival of the sun. I was introduced to the wisdom of Yew trees through Sam Lee, Chris Parks and Charlotte Pulver. They invited a group to sing and breathe under an ancient Yew, which was an enchanting experience. The Yew Tree if left to its own devices will keep growing for thousands of years, and has a number of ways to regenerate itself. Hence it is a symbol ..read more

There are so many reasons to feel stressed at this time of year. In addition to all the things that stretch our everyday capacity, like rising prices, coping with winter weather, and the pressures of working too much or too little, seasonal expectations may add an additional pressure. Our relationship with ‘home’ whatever that means for you, may also be challenging. So often the childhood image of a cosy house may be painfully absent, for many different reasons. If you are grieving someone, or managing change of any kind, there may be constant reminders of absence or difficulty. People may be ..read more

The ‘Day of the Dead’ theme has struck an increasingly powerful chord in youth culture in the UK over the last few years. ‘El Dia de los Muertos’ as it is known in Spanish has evolved and spread from Mexican culture, blending indigenous and Christian traditions over the centuries. The film ‘Coco’ popularised the theme in 2017 for a generation of young people. But it is more than a time for Halloween dressing up with tricks and treats. Many are hungry for a deeper connection with mortality, with ancestors, with acknowledging those who have gone before. People came to our pre-party workshop at ..read more

In London it is suddenly cold. The dark is lengthening, and the colours of autumn can be glorious. For me, the work of grieving involves expanding my capacity to be with both the darkness and the light, both the pain of the world and the beauty in it. The awareness of grief as something to be acknowledged and spoken about seems to be more accepted in the wake of the COVID pandemic. Normal life goes on despite the suffering that people experience. Global events co-exist in my mind with thoughts about every day needs and desires for good food, sleep and the company of good friends. I find the ‘D ..read more

This is not the truth! I notice I feel more confident when Sophy Banks offers this caveat when she talks about her synthesis of insights known as ‘Healthy Human Culture’. In Episode 198 of the ‘Accidental Gods’ podcast, Manda Scott talks to Sophy about why and how systems become dysfunctional, and the possibility of change. Encouraging us to take a wide view, Sophy looks at systems of harm that put profit over people, and the inter-generational and collective issues that proliferate without some of the vital ingredients needed for healthy communities. I have been very lucky to study and work a ..read more

Where are you on the feeling spectrum? It might be helpful to imagine a scale for access to feeling responses, where 0 is no access to feelings and 10 is overwhelmed by feelings all the time. Whether we find it easy to feel or to express our feelings may change over time. When I was young, for instance, I decided I wasn’t going to be like my mother – who had a very different feeling style to me. Under-feeling and over-feeling will be responses to our own complex histories, and may include some adaptive strategies that have been helpful to us. We may also have outgrown defences that no longer s ..read more

“Isn’t it lovely?” My neighbour asks on my return from a glorious walk in the park in my sun hat and shades. I’m experiencing cognitive dissonance. While I may enjoy the sunshine, the consequences are far from lovely. In the UK we have a temporate climate, and have so far been insulated from many of the more extreme weather that impacts other places on the front line of climate chaos. In the park and gardens, plants are crisping, leaves are coming down ahead of their scheduled drop. The grass in the park is bleached blonde with bald patches where footballs have scuffed the surface. A hose pipe ..read more