“Why do I feel this way? It wasn’t even that big of a deal…it isn’t even about me?”   As human beings, we naturally protect our attachments to each other, animals, places, memories, and objects. With great attachment comes great loss.   Some meaningful losses may be minimized or even ignored by our support system, because of social rules, or one’s personal discomfort with the grief process. Thus, we ourselves may not even acknowledge the loss which can create greater internal suffering; The natural emotional pain from the loss can become suppressed, and internally develops ..read more

How to Set Healthy Boundaries  Relationships can only be healthy when both people have the space to be themselves and maintain their personal integrity. Unfortunately, many find themselves in relationships, romantic and otherwise, with people who do not respect boundaries and feel entitled to have their needs met regardless of the other person’s.  If you can relate, it is possible that you grew up in a household that was unsafe, unstable, or where there was a constant invasion of your personal boundaries. If you have a hard time setting healthy boundaries to create the life experienc ..read more

Three Reasons Therapy can be Helpful for Men   Historically speaking, society has put men in positions that required them to appear a certain way. Displaying emotions and talking about feelings were not high priorities or were even a liability in some roles. While things are shifting, the lasting effects of those expectations and norms have permeated cultures all over the world. One aspect in particular about the requirements of many of those roles is that in most cases, the expectation was that men didn’t show or even acknowledge that they had emotions. Not only was it not a requirement ..read more

So you’re thinking about group therapy…   “The very definition of being ‘human’ means that one is mortal, vulnerable and imperfect…suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the shared human experience”  Dr. Kristin Neff   Group therapy creates a space to exist alongside others that are walking the same journey as we are, that we might not meet in our typical daily lives. Mental health challenges, and specifically betrayal trauma recovery can feel isolating at times and leave us with the sense that “no one else really understands” what we are going through. While individual th ..read more

As Brene Brown says, “To forgive is not just to be altruistic. It is the best form of self-interest. It is also a process that does not exclude hatred and anger. These emotions are all part of being human.”  While forgiving others who have hurt us is difficult and vulnerable, in the end, it greatly benefits one’s mental health and overall well-being. To be clear, forgiving others does not mean you agree with or condone hurtful or harmful behavior.  Forgiveness does not mean your feelings don’t matter or that you want to repair the relationship. Forgiveness simply means emotionally pr ..read more

What is Trauma Therapy?    Not many of us will get through life without facing our own share of challenges. But some people experience not just stress and anxiety, but actual trauma. Trauma may come in the form of a physically or emotionally abusive relationship, betrayal in a relationship, a car accident, rape, the sudden loss of a loved one, or war.   When a person experiences trauma, their entire world changes almost instantly. Many trauma survivors have a hard time feeling safe and secure. They begin to feel anxiety and depression, have trouble sleeping, and may experience o ..read more

What is Trauma?   Most of us won’t get through life without our own fair share of stress and heartache. But some people experience not just stress, sadness or grief, but actual trauma. This can be from events like being involved in a bad car accident, rape, a natural disaster, or war. The result of experiencing such events is called post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a condition where the mind is unable to process the event as it processes ordinary life events. The result is a brain that misfires information, causing the person to live much of their life distressed, as if the event we ..read more

Has someone broken your trust? Kept a secret that has led you to question your own reality?   Betrayal can cause deep emotional distress and lingering symptoms of trauma. The experience of betrayal trauma is typically the result of a betrayal by a romantic partner or another close person in your life. Whether this is due to infidelity in your relationship, an emotional betrayal or sex addiction the results can leave you devastated – struggling with your self-esteem, emotional wellbeing, and ability to form healthy attachment with others in your life.   Although recovery looks differe ..read more

Chances are, if you’re reading this, you’re wondering if this is the right place for you. You may be asking yourself, Did I experience betrayal trauma? What even is betrayal trauma? These are great questions – Let’s get into it.  Betrayal trauma – simply put – is an injury or violation of trust from someone we are close to or deeply depend on.  This can include so many areas of our lives: Spouses and partners, parents and caregivers, siblings, friendships, employers, schools,  governing institutions, and religious institutions, just to name a few.  These are relationships t ..read more

Choosing the right therapist after the discovery of infidelity or betrayal in a relationship is a crucial part of beginning your recovery journey. Not every professional is going to be the right fit. Finding someone who can guide you safely through this confusing time is an important step towards healing. Although there are many therapists who are highly skillful and trained, finding one that is specifically informed on the nuances of infidelity and betrayal trauma treatment can be the best gift you can give yourself as you navigate the confusing emotions, trauma, and uncertainty you are facin ..read more