Anyone who has a mental illness and believes in God can relate to getting frustrated at him from time to time. Frustrated because he could just snap his fingers and heal us if he really wanted to. Yet there you are on the bathroom floor crying your eyes out again wondering if it’s really all worth it. Thinking ‘’Why have you abandoned me God why?!’’ Or “Why can’t you just speak one word and heal me, I know you can!’’ It seems so simple to us for him to heal us yet why he doesn’t is the question…. I find it helpful to look to Scripture to read the stories of those who had s ..read more

     As I stare out the window in the dark thinking ‘’Will I always feel like this?’’ “Please Don’t hang up,” as I cry softly into the phone to the suicide hotline lady. “I’m afraid to be alone.” If I admit my thoughts to someone, they’ll think I’m crazy. Am I going crazy? That time of my life was so scary, it was my first severe episode of my clinical depression, the year was 2013, January. I didn’t understand because that was right after I was saved by Jesus Christ. It was right after I was born again. I thought after I got baptized it would all go away….boy was I wrong. If no ..read more

Aren’t Jesus freaks annoying, they seem a little crazy don’t ya think. I thought I’d never say this in my life but well…..IM A JESUS FREAK. Yup….from atheist to Jesus freak and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Finding Jesus in 2013 changed my entire way of thinking and living. I don’t know about yours but I’m pretty sure you have some old behaviors or secrets you are ashamed of before you found Jesus. If you don’t then you’re lying because we all do. We are human, meaning we are all imperfect. Everyone has stuff they regret and wish they wouldn’t have done. Look just because I am a born aga ..read more

I would like to talk about men and the mental health stigma that this world gives them. Men, especially American men are subjected to a ..read more

Studies have shown that pets, especially dogs can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, ease loneliness, encourage exercise and playfulness, and even improve your cardiovascular health. Another study looked specifically at whether or not dogs can recognize emotions based on vocal tones. Dogs can sense when there’s something wrong with you especially if you are sad. Dogs are extremely good at reading a human’s mental state based on things like facial expression, body language, and tone of voice. Now isn’t that fascinating! Their closeness increases oxytocin production and levels of serotonin ..read more

Panic attacks, ew they are the worst. The first time I had a major panic attack I was 22 years old driving home and all of a sudden I got all hot and really sweaty and my heart started beating so fast and I got a sharp pain in my chest. So I was freaking out thinking I was having a heart attack so I drove straight to the Emergency room. I was there for like 4 hours and they said everything is fine nothing is wrong. I was like ‘’Um ok” and I left. A week or so later the same thing happened and I went to the hospital again. Panic attacks can be very scary if you don’t really know anything about ..read more

Well crap here is the worst possible trait that I can have but also at the same time the best possible trait that I can have. Ya that makes sense I know, don’t even get me started….ok you got me started, thanks lol More often than not I can say I cannot f@&king stand being such a sensitive deeply feeling person. It really irritates me sometimes. It just makes life so much harder than it already is because I’m always overanalyzing things feeding off other peoples energy. If you’re a highly sensitive person then I’m sure you do the same things. First let’s talk about what exactly is a HSP. A ..read more

In honor of May being Mental Health Awareness month I would love to talk about the absolute favorite job I have ever had. I was a department secretary at a psychiatric hospital for a little over a year. Backtrack to before that, for awhile I've always said ''Working at a mental hospital is on my bucket list'' and I'm not sure why (maybe because I'm mentally ill too lol). One day I was on indeed looking at job openings and I came across one that was looking for a department secretary at a Psychiatric Hospital. I glanced at it and then I proceeded to scroll past because I thought ''There's no wa ..read more

This is the last part of this series “Faith and Depression”’ and I really want you to pay close attention because this one is especially for you. To the one that struggles, to the one who is hopeless, to the one that is scared and to the one wondering if they are going to make it. You know I was a little hesitant about writing this Faith and Depression series. I would ask God several times ‘’What do I say to these people?’’ What do I say to someone reading this who is in such darkness?” And ''Who am I too tell someone or give anyone advice during their darkest times.'' He has put this blog on ..read more

So the last blog ended with me staying at my Aunt and Uncles up in Washington for a little bit. I then went back home to California and started seeing a therapist who also referred me to a psychiatrist to get on medication. I finally agreed to take a antidepressant (My Aunt and Uncle convinced me) I mentally and physically at that point had no choice. That was my last resort, my last hope, my rock bottom. It was either that or die and I was not choosing death again.        You see nobody wants to really take medication. I would do anything to not take any. I wish I could be ..read more