Of hope I live on a land of clear air, the sky a vibrant lid, where storms drum their designs and winds bring dreams to land that bakes in sun, almost un-breathing, where heads in bodies herd politics, test wits like a cricket match on boxing day, determining it will die. I love my island, full of First Nations, rich in languages, nations that think through nature, circulate complex communications, make life accessible. My island where kindness is projected in a silent voice, blame in the base. My island where the sea vomits baggage of history, makes clear its foundations sit on an egg and its ..read more

I know I’m not alone in experiencing feelings of displacement and a lack of connection with loved ones and other people, generally speaking, across the last two years. The onset of the pandemic highlighted the wider disconnection between cultural communities here and the white Australian governing forces; a disconnection many of us have been well aware of since…well, ever. The urgency of making COVID-19 protocol updates readily available in different languages became a problem for those governing forces and departments; there were no consultants or consulting strategies in place to safely brin ..read more

The point of reckoning with the social organization of forgetting is, if it is anything, to craft a future different from the horrific past we have collectively inherited and differentially live in the present. — Alexis Shotwell, Against Purity What kind of times are these?  Early in the morning of September 11, 2001, I woke to the sight of my mother, crying and speechless, in front of our living room TV. Two buildings in New York have been hit by planes, she said eventually. Beyond the physical act of destruction, I wasn’t sure what this could mean. At school that day, my Grade Four teac ..read more

“Wind will not cease even if trees want to rest” Mao Zedong Directives on the cultural revolution: 1966-1972 *** The tree had shed all its leaves, I couldn’t see any mirages on the horizon but the intensity of the heat reminded me of their shimmering presence, much like the Corona Virus this summer: invisible but palpable. I went to the supermarket to buy groceries. Walking from my car, I saw a notice: “No entry without a mask”. I checked my car for a mask – but couldn’t find one. Since I couldn’t enter a shop without a mask (not even to buy a mask) I drove home. At home the wind blew up. Tree ..read more

Too cold out. There was a blip a spell a bird. Run me a hot bath. A flower falling into the sun. Lilies or thistles for your bedside table? Take this back it’s cold. Take me back I’m cold. Hot soup pooling on the bed. Fill my cup. Met with the family to recover my Mandarin. Burnout is now available in other languages. Wings wind their way down into outstretched pavement. Let me leave. Asking you permission to turn to dust. Could step out. Could be gone. To go somewhere better or to be lost? I miss the smell of burning. Call your mother. Order ancestral reverence. Wait for it to arrive. (The ho ..read more

In November of 2019, my parents and brother were back in Kuala Lumpur for a wedding. I still remember my Mama relaying questions from my relatives, asking when I’d be back next while I sat at my desk at work. “Haneen is usually here now.”  I usually am. The last time I was back in Kuala Lumpur was January 2019 for my 27th birthday. My first trip back with my mother since all four of us were going back-and-forth on tag-team trips over the course of about six months, caring for my grandfather before he passed. Following the passing of my grandmother when I was 21 and the subsequent loss of ..read more

Updates from detention November 5, 2021 In a world where all things are temporary, where winter and summer are temporary, where heat and cold, fire and rain are all temporary, how is it possible to live in permanent uncertainty, in permanent detention in this country which claims social justice always prevails? How dearly I wish that indefinite detention could also be temporary.  We are Human. ? November 24, 2021 Hello dear friends, Today I am very happy for my friend, Raj.  He finally got a Visa after a very long time in the cage. It’s very good news. I wish freedom for everyone who ..read more

Woman exhales as she pulls the car into the driveway. Work was horrendous. The one-hour commute across the Monash Freeway was worse. A symphony of stop-start-stay-go-no-further that requires her to ignore the slow build of acid in her gut that in three years’ time the male doctor with the overly technical bedside manner will tell her is gastroesophageal reflux with a side of ulcerative colitis. Ahead lies a whirlwind of put dinner on the table, clean the house, provide quality time, get the homework done, put the kids to bed, be an attentive partner, that will see Woman drag around the circles ..read more

When I think about my family and how they have supported me over the last two years, I think about how hard they’ve worked to take care of me from so far away. From video calls and check-in texts to containers of homemade food shipped to me in little brown parcels, I have felt their love even from such great distances. This piece celebrates the constancy of my support system, my community, and my loved ones. Amidst the chaos and isolation, we have provided each other with home comforts and safety. If we have been “hard to reach,” it is a difficulty that I have fortunately been spared. This No ..read more

For a while nobody noticed me. 1 January 2020 On my YouTube recommended list: ‘How to protect yourself against Coronavirus’. Coronavirus? There’s a guy somewhere in China washing his hands. I need to find out more about this Corona-thing, so I turn to my most trusted information browser — my dad. Dad tells me that it is ‘a little sickness in China. Nothing to worry about’. Eventually some of the humans find out about my existence But I’ve already transmitted thousands of myself to thousands of them. They still don’t take much notice, so, I decide to make them take me more seriously. 30 January ..read more