Instead of dying she shall merely fall into a profound slumber that will last a hundred years. -  Charles Perrault, The Sleeping Beauty in the Wood (1697) “Sorry to interrupt, but what does this have to do with whiskey?” “I’m going to compare a state’s whiskey history to Perrault’s Sleeping Beauty.” “Sounds like a lot of work to me.  Why can’t we just do whiskey reviews like everyone else?” Once upon a time, there was a king and queen who desperately wanted a child.  One day, their wishes came true.  The queen gave birth to a daughter. &nb ..read more

I’ve had full-bodied whiskies before, but this was different.  It was as though warm wax was being poured on my tongue.  Thinking an intruder had invaded my mouth, my salivary glands sprung into gear.  But this was no intruder, this was the best whisky experience of my life. -  Ryan, moderately popular whisk(e)y essayist, on trying Clynelish for the first time. A relationship ending on good terms leaves you in an emotional no man’s land.  You don’t hate the person, nothing really triggered the break up, you just grew apart.  Every serious ..read more

On a recent episode of Pawn Stars, someone brought in a Star Wars figure that was still in its original package.  It sold for hundreds.  I had that figure as a child.  I didn’t stash it away in my sock drawer hoping it’d one day be worth more than what I (my mom) paid for it, I played with it.  It made me think of all those poor Pappy 23 bottles out there that’ll never be opened.  Never be played with.  They’ll just get bounced around from owner to owner to owner.  Pappy is made by Buffalo Trace, the distiller ..read more

I enjoy travelling.  Going somewhere new is like being reborn.  New shops, new restaurants, and, most importantly, new liquor stores.  Whenever I see the words “liquor store” in a strange new land, a bolt of excitement surges through my body.  Who knows what treasures are lurking behind those burglar-proof doors?  I don’t gamble, but buying a lottery ticket must feel the same way.  What if I win the 50 million?  I can quit my job, move to Hawaii, and just hang out on the beach all day.  More often that not, li ..read more

I just returned from a cruise.  It was a Disney cruise (I have 2 young children).  Disney feels more like a religion than a brand.    The ship was filled with loyal devotees, and they all seemed to have a never-ending supply of wearables honouring their King of Kings, Mickey Mouse.  I hid in the bar for most of the week.  Like most bars, the whiskey section was filled with the usual suspects.  “Alright Ryan, which one of these do you hate the least?”  Then, I saw it.  “Wow.”  I said to myself.  ..read more

WARNING.  The following paragraph contains descriptions which might be unsettling for experienced whisky drinkers.  Reader discretion is advised. It’s your (insert very special occasion here).  You decide to crack open a whisky, not just any whisky, but a very special whisky you’ve been saving for a long, long time.  You take a look at the label, and fondly think back to the day you bought it those many, many years ago.  It’s now time to open it.  Your excitement turns to unease.  You know how corks and time aren’t the best ..read more

The movie Sideways proved to be both a blessing and a curse for the wine industry.  It centres around an aspiring author with a real passion for wine.  The screenwriters decided to take an interesting approach with this character.  He loved Pinot Noir but hated Merlot.  That doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense, especially for someone who’s supposed to be a “wine enthusiast.”  The Bordeaux region in France is home to some of the most sought-after wines in the world.  Many of them contain a fair amount of Merlot. &nb ..read more

Early on in my whisky journey, I stumbled upon a picture of Oban distillery in Scotland.  The distillery looked like…a distillery.  Distilleries aren’t cathedrals, they’re factories that convert grain into alcohol.  What really caught my eye was the Roman-looking amphitheatre directly above the distillery.  I knew the Roman Empire once occupied England and the southern part of Scotland, but I didn’t think they made it all the way up to Oban.  They didn’t.  The Colosseum-like structure that dominates every wide-angled shot of the town ..read more

It was the ugliest sound that any mortal ever heard—even a mortal exhausted and unnerved by two days of hard fighting, without sleep, without rest, without food and without hope. -  Ambrose Bierce, “A Little of Chickamauga” (1898) The “rebel yell” was a sound made by Southern soldiers before engaging in battle.  The American Civil War, unlike most wars, was a necessary war.  It put an end to humans owning other humans in North America, but the price paid, by both sides, was staggering.  The South lost nearly a quarter of their white male popula ..read more

Once upon a time, long, long ago, people read.  The world was a much different place back then.  Phones were connected to the wall, and could only be used for talking.  When people wanted easy-to-digest information, they’d reach for something called a “magazine.” Magazines were filled with ads.  Kilted men were a common sight in ads for scotch whisky.  They were always presented the same way:  sturdy, tough, folksy, masculine.  Titanic tourism springs to mind.  The resting place of the Titanic isn’t a theme park, i ..read more