Here's a little secret: I'm not actually that good at leisure. It doesn't come naturally to me. I have a hard time slowing down. I'm plagued with FOMO (fear of missing out) and always try to do too much. I struggle with perfectionism and can be achievement oriented to a fault. Though leisure is defined as what you do in your time away from business or work, I am guilty of turning my hobbies into jobs (ahem, this coaching venture?) I don't like leaving home and I worry about all of the things that can go wrong. I anxiously drag my heels all the way to the airport. Case in point, my trip to Texa ..read more

The line between coaching and therapy can be blurry and many people, like myself, identify as both a therapist and a coach. Ask a thousand people to describe the difference and you may get a thousand different responses. However, there are only three important distinctions between coaching and therapy.  Three differences between coaching and therapy: Therapists can diagnose and treat mental health conditions; coaches cannot. This may be the single most important distinction. While all therapists can diagnose and treat mental health conditions or trauma, not all of them do. The clie ..read more

In their book, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, Emily and Amelia Nagoski write:  “To be well is not to live in a state of perpetual safety and calm but to move fluidly from a state of adversity, risk, adventure, or excitement back to safety and calm and out again. Stress is not bad for you. Being stuck is bad for you.”  Experiencing stress is a normal, natural part of life. Stress itself is not bad. It’s inadequately dealing with stress that causes burnout. Dealing with stress can include two parts:  Addressing the stressors Addressing the emotion of stress ..read more

I had planned to be road tripping by myself through the UK right now but I decided to cancel my trip. It was honestly a really difficult decision to make. I absolutely love to travel. I’ve learned so much about myself and the world through my adventures. And, if I’m being honest with you, being a traveler is part of my identity. The Little Hater in my brain says, “If you don’t travel, who ARE you?” Suggesting that I am valuable for what I do vs being inherently worthy.  Little Hater is what I call my inner critic, the voice in my head that suggests I’m too much or not enough. If you liste ..read more

I recently wrote about how to identify your inner critic, that little voice in your head that belittles, judges, and condemns us. Once we notice our inner critic, what do we do with it? Get rid of it? No. Unfortunately, there’s not a delete button in our brains. In fact, granddaddy of therapy Carl Jung said, “What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.” Yikes, no thank you. If you don’t believe me, try this: Whatever you do, don’t think of a white polar bear for five minutes. It didn’t work, right? The more we actively try not to think about something, the more it comes to mind ..read more

The line between coaching and therapy can be blurry and many people, like myself, identify as both a therapist and a coach. Ask a thousand people to describe the difference and you may get a thousand different responses. However, there are only three important distinctions between coaching and therapy.  Three differences between coaching and therapy: Therapists can diagnose and treat mental health conditions; coaches cannot. This may be the single most important distinction. While all therapists can diagnose and treat mental health conditions or trauma, not all of them do. The clie ..read more

The helplessness and hopelessness of burnout can make what we do feel pointless. We feel impotent, unable to act effectively due to overwhelm, overwork, or structural barriers. Often burnout extends into our personal lives when long hours or emotional depletion deprives us of the time or energy to engage in meaningful leisure activities. Time off, fun, and relaxation are valuable tools in avoiding or mitigating burnout but these tools are made infinitely more powerful if imbued with a sense of purpose. Research suggests that a sense of purpose in life predicts both health and longevity. Having ..read more

It seems more challenging than ever to find a good therapist. Many loved ones have come to me for help finding a therapist in recent months. They contact dozens of therapists, most never respond and those that do are not accepting new patients. Kaiser therapists have been on an open-ended strike for two months because they do not have adequate staffing to provide enough therapy for everyone who needs it. It’s a courageous act to ask for help. And it can be especially difficult to have the patience, tenacity, and follow through required to find a therapist when you’re struggling with burnout, m ..read more

In their book, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, Emily and Amelia Nagoski write:  “To be well is not to live in a state of perpetual safety and calm but to move fluidly from a state of adversity, risk, adventure, or excitement back to safety and calm and out again. Stress is not bad for you. Being stuck is bad for you.”  Experiencing stress is a normal, natural part of life. Stress itself is not bad. It’s inadequately dealing with stress that causes burnout. Dealing with stress can include two parts:  Addressing the stressors Addressing the emotion of stress ..read more

I had planned to be road tripping by myself through the UK right now but I decided to cancel my trip. It was honestly a really difficult decision to make. I absolutely love to travel. I’ve learned so much about myself and the world through my adventures. And, if I’m being honest with you, being a traveler is part of my identity. The Little Hater in my brain says, “If you don’t travel, who ARE you?” Suggesting that I am valuable for what I do vs being inherently worthy.  Little Hater is what I call my inner critic, the voice in my head that suggests I’m too much or not enough. If you list ..read more