If your estranged adult child has mentioned the word “boundaries,” you might want to stay up to date with our Healthy Boundaries course. Reconnection Club members can access it any time at this link. This course is a work in progress, emerging one lesson at a time. Lessons are recorded live with an audience of Reconnection Club members. (Watch the weekly Wednesday email and/or “The Latest” on your Dashboard page for announcements about live RC events.) The latest release, part of the section on enmeshment, is Lesson 2B: Enmeshment Characteristics. You’ll learn how to spot 7 common feature ..read more

9 Truths About Apologies For parents of estranged or no-contact adult children “I’m working on the amends letter and would appreciate your input.” That’s what one unwillingly estranged parent said to me at the start of our consultation appointment. And it’s something I hear regularly. Notice the parent called it “the” amends letter, not “an” amends letter. It sounded as if they believed an apology to be part of a standard curriculum that every estranged parent must follow. Many other parents are under the same impression. But deciding to apologize, while often appreciated by estranged adult c ..read more

Setting Boundaries with Estranged Adult Children Many parents of estranged adult children cringe when they hear the word “boundaries.”  It’s understandable. The last time they heard that word was when their adult child accused them of boundary violations… on their way out the door. To parents who feel rejected and confused by sudden estrangement, boundaries feel like nothing more than walls put up to keep them out. But boundaries are not simply walls. They’re not just for creating distance. And they’re not just for your adult child(ren), either. Boundaries were not a “thing” when I was g ..read more

Preparing for Mothers Day and Fathers Day 9 Tips for Parents of Estranged Adult Children In the U.S., May and June bring anxious reminders of estrangement for many parents in the form of Mothers Day and Fathers Day, respectively. If you’re currently estranged from one or more of your adult children and you’re nervous about Mothers or Fathers Day this year, this article contains resources you can start making use of immediately. Be sure to bookmark this post if you find it helpful. Remember, no one else can guarantee you a decent Mothers Day or Fathers Day — not even your adult child(ren) or g ..read more

Five years ago today, on March 1st, 2019, the Reconnection Club opened its doors to parents suffering from unwanted estrangement by adult children. Our vision was an online school to help parents understand and address causes of estrangement, so families could come back together and be better than before. We had no idea what a wise and vibrant community would evolve within our membership! Today we have about 400 active members, all of whom are parents or stepparents of estranged adult children. In addition to a library full of resources and regular live events, we also have a very active discu ..read more

When you send your estranged adult child a gift, it might not be obvious that this could put her or him in a difficult position… If your child wants to be polite, they have to thank you for the gift. That means contacting you, which they don’t want to do right now. But if they don’t thank you for the gift, then they have to live with being rude for not doing so. (You did teach them to say “Thank you” for gifts, right?) Do you notice the position they’re in? Your child must now choose between unwanted contact, and being rude. This dilemma may be the reason why some estranged adult children are ..read more

Learning Circle on Self-Care Friday 9/8/23 or Sunday 9/10/23 Click here for the time in your time zone Objectives: Clarify what self care looks like for you Start or solidify your practice to prepare for the holidays Guidelines: – Be prepared to take notes – Stay muted unless you’re talking – Share the “air time” / mostly listen – Protect/respect privacy (yours and others’) Agenda (1 hour) 1. Introductions (brief) – First name or RC username – What does “self care” mean to you? Or,  – Why are you here today? 2. Brainstorm: Self-care practices 3. Discussion 4. Wrap-up / Take-aways   ..read more

Moving Beyond Family Struggles 2023 Some parents of estranged adult children (especially Reconnection Club members) want to keep learning and being inspired to grow, even during an unwanted estrangement. If that’s you, then my friend and colleague Yasmin Kerkez of Family Support Resources has something special to offer you this fall. Yasmin’s 2023 Moving Beyond Family Struggles Summit  will be held online October 12-15th, 2023.  Mark you calendar now, because the entire Summit is free to watch during that time. From what we’ve seen in the past, you might want to clear your schedule ..read more

I recently had the pleasure of speaking with Mary Foley on her podcast, Live Like Your Nail Color. Our interview was part of Mary’s series, “Women’s Essential Relationships.” The episodes aren’t numbered but you can find both parts of our discussion at these links: Part 1 (May 12, 2023) Part 2 (May 19, 2023) (Be sure to bookmark those — or save the link to this page —  if you don’t have time to listen today.) Mary has a fun, casual style but beneath the chatty demeanor is a very astute interviewer. She asks all the right questions and homes in on the most useful, practical advice for pare ..read more

The Moving Beyond Family Struggles Summit, hosted by Family Support Resources (FSR), this year featured 26 experts in the field of family estrangement, communication, relationships and personal growth. The entire 2022 Moving Beyond Family Struggles Summit, including all videos and other materials, is available for purchase through FSR.  However, FSR has generously provided the Reconnection Club with the opportunity to share the video of Tina Gilbertson’s interview below. If you appreciate this interview and the work of FSR, consider purchasing lifetime access to the Summit, and join the ..read more