Many thanks once again, Lisa. Sometimes a situation that is very difficult is made even more difficult and when one is struggling to cope it all just becomes too much. I will try the Live Chat. My situation, as I see it, is mainly Gaslighting and the Silent Treatment, which have resulted in me behing dehumanized. But I, and maybe a lot of other women, don’t fit into the tight parameters that the government set for Physiological Abuse. This is not about withholding money or preventing me from seeing people, this goes a lot deeper than that, just the government never understood that each case is ..read more

Hi Miosotis, I’m sorry that you’ve had such a hard time getting support and that your experience of not being British has impacted this so severely. It’s a fact that bias and prejudice exist and having this minimised on top of experiencing it compounds the issue. You should have been believed about what you were going through. Women’s Aid recognises psychological domestic abuse as real, serious, and damaging. You deserve to have support. You should be able to access support to leave, including accommodation if this is a barrier to you leaving. If you wanted to discuss this in more detail with ..read more

I have been a victim of domestic abuse in two marriage and haven’t been able to leave the latest one, so my life is in a real mess right now, which almost cost me my life. I feel that psychological abuse is still not accepted in England and is seen as just another bad marriage, even by the charities supposed to protect and support you, but also difficulties that arise by me not being British are downplayed, like difficulty to get a rental property when they hear your accent and see your name, no acceptance that in the past an agency didn’t even accept to show any property to me, even if I had ..read more

Hi, I’m so heartbroken and devastated. Myself and my 2 children have been victims of a sustained campaign of psychological, physical and financial abuse since my (detail removed by Moderator) husband arrived here in the UK. My daughter has (detail removed by Moderator) and therefore has special needs and is vulnerable. He has repeatedly bullied, berated and shouted at her and called her abusive and derogatory names such as “(detail removed by Moderator)” My daughter has never given him a cause to do this to her. She’s never answered back and she’s shy and timid. He has also called my son fat a ..read more

Dear Mellow, you can use the Google translate app on your phone and voice recorder to translate what is being said. I have discovered my husband texting other countless women. He reassures me he doesn’t care about them and is just using them which makes me feel horrible. It’s not acceptable but I still seem to accept him ..read more

I found the Freedom Programme so helpful and healing. Also the book Living With The Dominator ..read more

Hello Intr0vert, Thank you for your post and for sharing what you’re going through. You are not alone in struggling with the possibility of ending the relationship. Quite often the very nature of an abusive relationship means there are numerous obstacles to leaving, and we can become practically and psychologically dependant on the abuser. It’s really important to have compassion for yourself and understand that what’s happening is not your fault. It’s great that you’re beginning to reach out and talk about this, I’m sure other users will be along to offer some advice and support. In the meant ..read more

I have been in an abusive relationship for almost (detail removed by moderator). It haunts me to even type this out. It has taken me the longest time to recognise that I am being abused. My issue is… I know I need to leave this man. I know I don’t want to be with this man. I hate everything about him and his values. He is not the right person for me and on top of everything else, he is emotionally unintelligent and abusive – both mentally and physically. My problem is everytime I pluck up the courage to leave him, I feel sick and scared and quickly let him back into my space. When I’m without ..read more

Dear Ladies, I realise I’ve posted a few comments here regarding this topic, but I’d also just like to mention another; abusive men and women can come from a variety of ethnicities, and religious and social backgrounds. They don’t all have to have stereotypical characteristics of Muslim men. Yes, there are some cultures and religious texts that are more predominantly veered towards being patriarchal, and certain aspects of religious texts are open to being misrepresentative of the truth by certain religious groups, who are abusive. I would question everything and anything that makes you feel u ..read more

Dear Pigeonperson, Thank you for posting your comments and for being so brutally honest. I can completely resonate with the comments you’ve made and also come from a culturally secular background, even though I grew up in a Muslim household. I can’t say too much about my ex or how I ended up being subjected to domestic violence, as it could identify me. I’d like to say so much more about the comments you’ve mentioned but feel constrained due to safeguarding reasons. I will say one thing though, after being made homeless by my biological mother at a very young age and then later in life by an a ..read more