Happy New Year, Readers! I know, it’s been a minute. I’ve been around, but inundated with teaching high school English. It feels soul-crushing, at times, but I do think I’ve made some progress with my students. I got this email from one on Christmas Eve: Hi Ms. Spencer! Sorry it’s a little late, I just wanted to say happy holidays and merry Christmas. I love being your student. Holidays are always a bit tougher for me and honestly you are the first teacher that’s been nice and patient with me. It means a lot. Once again Happy holidays! Now THAT is something to be happy about, right? It’s the l ..read more

December 22nd, 11:00 am(ish): Walking my friend’s Tibetan Terrier around the Historic Highlands Neighborhood of Pasadena, California. Behind me, I hear a loud engine purring before it rolls to a stop. “Excuse me,” says a voice. I instantly recognize the man’s Mancunian accent due to binge-watching all of Ted Lasso for a second time. I turn towards the voice. Behind the wheel of a squeaky clean, sapphire blue Porsche Cayman sits an extremely attractive, dark-haired fellow. He is dressed impeccably: baby blue button up shirt, freshly pressed trousers and a well-paired cashmere sweater tied aroun ..read more

I wrote this back in March. Yesterday, before I went out dancing (YES!) and sat in with the band (Honest: I was pretty terrible), I re-read it and came to the conclusion that I just needed to post it. So, here you go. ***** I haven’t written much lately. Sometimes I sit poised at the computer and hope the words will flow. Inevitably, I get distracted or I vehemently procrastinate (“Haven’t used those makeup brushes in over a year, but I really should clean them!”), or I slither down the rabbit hole of mind noise. It feels like the days are so very long, yet the weeks fly by. How is that? It’s ..read more

A couple of years ago, O Magazine was looking for exciting, funny stories about online dating. I submitted this piece. I shopped it around to a couple of other magazines, as well. And, after a year of “Covid College” (as Anne Lamott calls it), I felt now was a good time as any to put it out there. ***** I’m 42, been divorced for eight years and have had my heart significantly broken in the meantime. After two brief post-divorce relationships, I was hotly pursued by my best friend’s brother. I fell hard for him. I started to believe in marriage again. Two and a half years in, he dumped me over ..read more

The other day I went to a restaurant for the first time since March. I felt ecstatic, then overwhelmed and horrified. I mean, there were people there. Droves of them. (Okay, there were only about fifteen, it was a strictly outdoor venue and we were all safely placed within many feet of one another.) But still – people! All dressed up, talking and laughing, eating food and drinking drinks. Acting normal. And for a moment, all seemed right in the world. I breathed a (masked) sigh of relief. ***** Tomorrow is my 43rd birthday. Confession: I have been struggling lately. A lot. I am not proud to ad ..read more

Today would have been my 20th wedding anniversary. Over the past couple of days, I have been pondering how I feel about it, and I have found nothing. There are no tears. There is no sadness. I feel nothing. It is just a quiet fact.  So, today, I am celebrating ten years of singlehood. I celebrate the woman I have become. I celebrate being able to heal. I celebrate the fact I have fallen in love and had my heart broken again and again and again. I celebrate the fact that my heart works, and I’m still open to sharing it with someone again – someday. Today, I celebrate ME. #happyuniversary ..read more

Enjoyed a leisurely Sunday afternoon at my favorite happy hour spot, devouring my latest library find. Guy seated next to me: “How is it you’re single?!”‬ I looked up from my book, propped my elbow up on the bar and rested my chin in my hand. “Forgiving the presumptive and irksome nature of your question, the answer is as follows: Besides the overwhelmingly disappointing inability to step it up to my level, the men who lackadaisically profess interest are petrified to send me grammatically incorrect texts ..read more

I used to attach meaning to butterflies. If one crossed my path, I would take it as a sign that something good was about to happen, or that God was approving. It was something purposeful and special, meant for me. Later, I decided it was all bullshit. Painted Lady butterfly I captured on my hike in Altadena, California Confession: I have been really struggling lately. I’m stressed out. I’m afraid. I miss New York and my “cool life” there. I still love my ex-boyfriend, even though he’s long since moved on. It’s over, and I accept that. Actively choosing to move forward is a lot harder than it ..read more

I had an epiphany last weekend. Saturday, I drove Mavis the Mini down to south Orange County (California) to spend the remainder of the holiday weekend with my best friend, her husband and their five-year-old daughter. Somewhere near Disneyland, shoving the remainder of my protein-style burger from In-N-Out into my mouth and shifting from fifth to sixth gear, I actively decided that I was done with my most recent breakup. Well, all of them, in fact. Done-zo. Over it. Buh, bye. Peace out. Thank you, next. (Also, yes, if you need to cue the song, go ahead, but Grammar Queen over here will b ..read more