Recently we were asked to provide some fact checks for a TedX speaker who was preparing to share the story of her husband's home funeral. Here are the common misconceptions around family death-care rights she wanted to be sure to debunk: “The 24 Hour Rule” “You have to hire a funeral home/ mortuary.” “You have to hire a funeral home to transport a body after death.” OR “You need a transportation permit to bring a deceased loved one home for after-deathcare, from their place of death.” “A Home Funeral takes place in the home and is only for certain kinds of people.” “The 24 Hour Rule ..read more

Earlier this year, we helped produce a free four-part series of educational sessions for the LGBTQ+ community. Hosted by Friendly House of Portland's Elder Pride Services, the sessions were recorded and are now available to watch: Part 1: Preparing for Death featuring Evening Star End-of-Life Doula Services and community elder Carol Brownlow Part 2: The Dying Time featuring Evening Star End-of-Life Doula Services, end of life doula/ educator Jamie Thrower, and hospice/ palliative care nurse practitioner Asher Caldwell Part 3: Final Disposition featuring home funeral guide/ community death ed ..read more

 — by Molly Sirois Two weeks before my 80 year-old friend died, she had a stroke. She was well-prepared for such an event, having lived with multiple sclerosis for 56 years. Her POLST form was on the front door, her advance directive completed, and her end-of-life affairs in order. Her friends and family knew she didn’t want any life-sustaining intervention, no food, no water. Not even hospice. Several of us had experience caring for others in their last days, and combined with her doctor’s consultation, we knew what to do: make her as comfortable as possible. The mortuary was on notice ..read more

Site contributor Holly Pruett was honored to support Linda Campbell through her fight to be buried with her wife Nancy. Click to learn more. Carol Brownlow got tired of seeing her gay and lesbian friends put back into the closet at their funerals. “It is heart wrenching to hear their authentic lives continue to be rejected by their families even in death,” Carol says.   Seeing sexual orientation or gender identity disrespected after a person has died can be a painful experience for the chosen family and community of an LGBTQ+ person. Unless a person has designated someone to make decision ..read more

We invited Tamara Ostervoss, Director of the Body Donation Program at Oregon Health & Science University, to provide more information about this method of final disposition and how it can be compatible with family and community-led after-death care.  ​ Whole-body donation is an alternative to a traditional funeral and burial or cremation.  Donating your body or your loved one’s body to a reputable body donation program supports medical education and research after death.  Many people considering this option are unsure of how to plan or what the process may lo ..read more

The One Washcloth Project helps families recognize that small things - like bathing a loved ones hands after death - can be done simply and have great meaning by Keelia Carver ​One of the things I like best when talking to people about caring for their own dead is discussing what you are actually paying for when you hire a funeral home’s services. Because it can be hard to understand what you are actually paying for when you hire a funeral director (it certainly was for me!), it can help to break the list of tasks down and think about specific skills that you probably already have. It makes ..read more

Tachrichim, traditional Jewish burial clothing While the dominant culture of North America has largely lost touch with family- and community-centered responses to death, there are cultures within the U.S. where these traditions have remained more intact.  A recent post on the website The Jew School explains, "The chevra kadisha (“Holy Community”) is a geographically-organized group responsible for all Jewish matters pertaining to death, including arranging people to sit with and guard the body (shemira), and preparation of the body for burial (tahara)."  Giulia Fleishman, a third y ..read more

Click image to read this feature story in Ruralite magazine, which reaches more than 320,000 households in Alaska, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Nevada, California and Montana ..read more

With The Seattle Times publishing an alarming and heartbreaking article about cemetery restrictions on all family or community presence at burials - even limited numbers observing social distancing spacing - today the Washington State Department of Licensing issued this clarification:  Licensed funeral homes and cemeteries may conduct funeral services in a funeral home or graveside under the following conditions: Funerals are only attended by immediate family members of the deceased. The family members in attendance must maintain proper social distancing, defined by the Centers for Dise ..read more

Names of local funeral homes blocked out for illustration. At Keelia Carver's urging, the chaplain's office at St Charles Hospital in Bend has updated the information sheet given to families after a loved one's death. When Keelia's son Max was pronounced dead at the hospital, she and her husband were handed a list of local funeral homes and told they would have to hire one of them to secure release of his body. Keelia contacted the chaplain's office a year later, armed with the statutory references to a family's rights to care for their dead. In response, they agreed to revise their informati ..read more