Remember the early days of your relationship? The New Relationship Energy, the electric spark, the feeling of being home. But then somewhere along the line, things changed. Now it feels like there are miles between you and your partner. If you're nodding along, feeling the sting of distance and disconnection with your partner, you're not alone. It feels like a slap in the face when you realize that the connection you once had has fizzled out. Maybe your partner used to call and text, help out around the house, and be your teammate, but now it all feels flat. You're left wondering if this is ..read more

In the beginning of a relationship, initiating sex and intimacy comes easy. Initiating sex in marriage and long-term relationships is where things start to become more complicated. I first want to mention that this is normal. At the beginning of a relationship your attachment neurochemicals – dopamine, norepinephrine – are going crazy and sex and intimacy is something that just comes naturally. When it comes to sex in marriage and long-term relationships, those neurochemicals have faded, life has taken over, and priority has shifted away from sex and pleasure. This is why pleasure and intima ..read more

Over the past little while, my male audience has been growing so I wanted to focus on something that all genders send me messages about – “How can I become a better lover?”. Many of you are like me. You’re what I like to call “superwomen” or in this case “superpeople”. The short explanation for a superwoman/superperson is that you’re people-pleasers and over-functioners who are great at sacrificing their own needs for others. A lot of these characteristics have been great for our career success, but we struggle to connect, be present, relax, and feel comfortable receiving. Especially when ou ..read more

There is this false belief that once you are partnered, your pleasure and orgasms are your partner's responsibility. I’ve also had people tell me they and/or their partner consider it cheating or that if you’re self-pleasuring it means something is wrong or missing with your relationship. In my opinion, the only time I see masturbation being an issue is when it comes between or replaces physical intimacy in a partnership.  I also want to make a note that it’s important to switch things up and not repeat the exact same self-pleasure routine over and over because this will make it harder ..read more

We like to blame a lot of different things for the lack of sex and intimacy in our relationships, I hear these excuses all the time. The problem is that blaming these things is ruining your relationships and your overall well being. Hormones and/or stress are common things people blame for the lack of sex and intimacy in their relationship. And while it’s true that stress and sex DO NOT MIX, which you can learn more about in my book The Pink Canary, this isn’t an excuse and there’s likely more to it. You have heard me say it before and I will say it again – You are not missing a tip, techniq ..read more

“Not tonight.” No one wants to hear that. And many of us don't want to say that. Contrary to societal beliefs, mismatched libidos are normal and to be expected in long-term relationships. Oftentimes we are trying to get back to that New Relationship Energy feeling, and we have no idea how to cultivate sexual intimacy in our long-term relationships.  And there’s something I want to talk about that I find very interesting after treating thousands of women clinically and coaching hundreds – We have it WRONG when it comes to women’s desire. I believe that when in a supportive, fulfilling ..read more

 Do you like giving blowjobs? Have you ever wondered who first looked at a dick and thought.. I want to put that in my mouth?  I gave my first unofficial blowjob tutorial to a group of ladies during our pre-med degree after a Cellular Physiology class. Which is probably when I should have known I was destined to be a sex educator. I’ve been chatting with the women in my Pleasure Principles group and those in the Feminine Mentorship this year and BJs have been a big topic of discussion! I also put up a poll on my Instagram stories and was overwhelmed with the responses! There were ..read more

 As a recovering superwoman who now works with fellow superwomen every single day, I know a thing or two about feeling exhausted, crusty, and lacking desire. Women like you are balancing A LOT. You’re doing everything for everyone, thinking ahead, planning, delegating, and being the glue that holds everything together. As a result, superwomen like you often find themselves exhausted, disconnected, and lacking fulfillment. Despite your outward success, there are three fundamental things superwomen tend to suppress which will ultimately cause you to feel more exhausted, disconnected, and ..read more

Women are fantastic tolerators. Life taught us this. Our childhoods taught us this. Just generally growing up identifying as female taught us this.  And whether we do it because we want to help, because giving to others makes us feel good, or whatever we think the reason is… the reality is that as high-achieving women, we like to control because it makes us feel safe and most of us are tolerating because we’re running from the experience of true desiring.   How does tolerating show up in your relationship? In a nutshell, tolerating is putting up with sh*t for longer than we should ..read more

In a world where divorce rates are high and satisfaction in relationships is low, it's crucial to cultivate intimacy and sex in long-term relationships. This can be difficult, especially for women who often struggle to communicate their needs and desires. As women we are conditioned to anticipate others' needs and over-function, making it hard to focus on our own. As a result, many women find themselves feeling lonely, burnt out and depressed behind the smile they paste on. However, it doesn't have to be this way. In my work with Superwomen (aka high-achieving, over-giving, over-functioning ..read more