The Gift of My Affair powerofpleasure admin       The Gift of My Affair He strutted into the boardroom like a regal peacock. Tall, athletic, impeccably dressed, chiseled chin, piercing blue eyes.  The new CEO of a start-up entertainment venture that I was involved with. Introductions were made, our eyes locked, and before I knew it we were having drinks in the lobby of the Hyatt. A recent divorcee with two adult children, Brant was a blueblood New Englander, who summered in Martha’s Vineyard, travelled around the world, and enjoyed gourmet food and wines. He exuded sexy wi ..read more

S3x Play That Could Leave You Breathless… Or Worse powerofpleasure Jill Spindler Anyone who has their finger on the pulse of the sex-positivity community knows that a hot new sex trend is choking. Otherwise known as asphyxiation play (or breath play), new light was shone on this subject via a recent New York Times article.  The author, Peggy Orenstein, points to a study which shows that amongst teens, the practice is becoming nearly-ubiquitous.  From the article: Nearly two-thirds of women in [Debbie Herbenick’s] most recent campus-representative survey of 5,000 students at an anon ..read more

What’s Like the Gym for Your Pu$$y But More Fun? powerofpleasure Jill SpindlerDisclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links, at no cost to you. In the past, you’ve maybe read my recommendations for the vFit Gold, which uses red-light to strengthen your pelvic floor.  I’m still using and loving my vFit, but now I’ve got a new tool in my pu$$y-training regimen. If you haven’t already met, please let me introduce you to Perifit and Perifit + Care.  Perift is an FDA approved biofeedback device that treats s ..read more

What’s the Secret to Successful Sex in a LTR? powerofpleasure Jill Spindler     I’ll admit it, there are times when the thought of Valentine’s Day brought me angst in the past.  Wondering how my ex-husband might let me down (again), dreading a ‘celebration’ that I knew would be less than celebratory.  Or, some years, single and feeling sad as I watched others celebrate their relationships, seeming to be happy and in love. Now that I’m older and thankfully wiser, I know better than to judge a relationship on what’s Insta-worthy.  Most people only post the good bits, an ..read more

Are You Seeking Chemistry… Or Explosions? powerofpleasure Jill Spindler One big myth about relationships that I’d love to dispel is the notion that it’s necessary to feel “chemistry” with someone right away in order to have romantic success. This, frankly, is false. In fact, it might actually be not just wrong, but the exact opposite of what we should be looking for! Why? Because often what we call “chemistry” is a triggering of some attachment pattern developed in our childhood. Consider an example: My client Jane (not her real name) met Beau (also not his real name) on a social networking s ..read more

How an Intimacy Retreat Can Save Your Marriage powerofpleasure Jill Spindler Dear Xanet, My husband and I have been married for almost two decades, and I feel so emotionally disconnected from him.  We’re wonderful co-parents, and we always work well together.  But over the years, our romantic relationship has faded.  I’m realizing how poorly we communicate with each other.  And our sex life is nonexistent.   While it’s not all his fault, my husband just won’t stop working long enough for us to reconnect.  He says he wants our relationship to work, but his action ..read more

New Year’s Quest: Find More Joy! powerofpleasure Jill Spindler This time of year, everyone makes their New Year’s resolutions.  Lose weight, get fit, blah blah blah. What about something fun? I saw a meme that inspired me to do this – someone made their resolution to try as many different pasta shapes as possible during the new year! Resolutions don’t have to be about self-discipline.  Sure, we can “resolve” to improve perceived flaws, but what about resolving to have more joy?  To love more?  To laugh? Joy-filled Resolutions to try out for 2024: Try a new restaurant at le ..read more

Ho Ho Hold Up On Dating Apps For a Minute powerofpleasure Jill Spindler Are you on dating apps and feeling frustrated and burned out? Or should I shorten that to: “Are you on dating apps?” because if you are, the second part of the question is probably redundant. I know, because I’ve been there. But let me share some tips with you. Number One: Get Off The Apps Get off the apps right now.  You heard me!  Get off them!  Don’t pause.  Delete your profile.  Then delete the app from your phone. Yes, I hear you crying, “But XANET!  I put so much time into crafting the ..read more

Six Steps to Heal Your Inner Child powerofpleasure Jill Spindler As a sex coach, I see a lot of folks who are struggling with sexual satisfaction.  And something that occurs to me regularly is how many of these intimacy issues are tied directly to our experience as children. Just as I see this in my clients’ lives, I can recognize it in my own, too.  I notice it particularly in the way my childhood gave me a blueprint for intimacy (or lack thereof). As a three year old, I lost my dad suddenly and tragically to a heart attack.  He and I had been very close, and in the wake of hi ..read more

Gift Ideas to Titillate Your Lover This Holiday Season powerofpleasure Jill Spindler Whatever flavor of holiday you celebrate, tis the season for sexy gifts.  Here are some I’m a fan of, and a few I hope I find under my tree! If you’re local to Asheville or visiting for the holidays, I highly recommend that your first stop be VaVaVooom, a woman-owned small business that offers a more upscale, tasteful experience than your usual sex shop.  All the toys are body-safe, and a quick stroll through the shop (there are now two locations) is enough to excite the senses.  If you’re not ..read more