We’ve all heard it. "Date your spouse." "You need date nights!" Let's flip the script and introduce something we call “Connection Night.” The Benefits of Connection for Foster Parents Fostering can be incredibly rewarding, but also challenging, and maintaining a strong relationship is essential.  Connection nights offer: Connection and bonding. Stress relief and rejuvenation. A break from parenting responsibilities. Improved communication and conflict resolution. Problems Faced When Foster Parents Neglect Connection Neglecting connection nights can lead to: Burnout and emotional exhau ..read more

In this month's episode, we’re discussing how to recognize and navigate grief together in marriage because grief is such a big part of the fostering and even adoption journey.  We have a very special guest with us, Dr. Melody Aguayo!  Dr. Melody is a parenting coach with a huge heart for families and children. With many years under her belt, Melody's seen it all: from high-risk kids needing a guiding hand, to those neurotypical dynamos that keep parents on their toes. She's all about swapping out those stressful control battles for a home filled with joy and peace. Melody's not your ..read more

In part 2 of our “Identity outside of fostering” series, we cover traps to avoid and how our self-perception shapes how we communicate. Introduction Today, we’re getting into some deeper things concerning identity, and we want to shed some light on the traps or dangers of how we see ourselves to help all of us make better decisions in our lives and especially in our marriages.  We’re approaching this from the perspective of a stay at home parent. However, if you’re not a stay at home parent and still struggling with this, take the content and apply it to you. Traps that trip us up: Compar ..read more

In this episode, we’re talking about finding an identity outside of being a foster parent.  What is identity Identity is who you see yourself as Many people aren’t happy with who they see themselves as feel not good enough, not important/significant and can say things like “I’m just a mom or  __________” Joel interviews MaryBeth (the main parent in our family) How did not financially contributing anymore impact you? Tell me about guilt over not contributing “equally”? How can a mom who has gifts, talents and an education and she’s not using them feel? How did you get to a place o ..read more

In this episode, we’re talking about recognizing and working through bad responses to each other as a result of stress and things that trigger you. Stressors of fostering:  The stressors that the main load bearer can have (episode 13) Bulk of tasks (paperwork to organizing now chaotic schedules) to parenting (often a child - or children with trauma) Stressors that the non-load bearer can have.  There’s still a load they’re carrying including emotional, parenting challenges of their own, worry about the load bearer, or guilt or feeling responsible for the emotional well-being of the ..read more

We’re talking about the pursuit of selflessness, doing hard things, pain, sacrificing, or in other words, costly love.  Why are we talking about this? Because this is what we’ve all chosen by fostering, and it's not easy. It wears at everyone so we need perspective that helps us be strong and .......well, just keep perspective. We think this episode will accomplish that. This episode isn’t a “5 keys to XXXX," or How-to episode, it’s something we all need to be reminded of and encouraged to keep focusing on.  The episode centers on the biblical story of Ruth and Naomi. In this story ..read more

We're talking about splitting the mental load of being a foster parent, challenges and how to support each other. Taking care of your mental and emotional health is so important when you’re pouring out a lot as a parent and facing different challenges and stressful situations day in and day out and you can quickly become like an engine running without oil. Part of keeping your marriage first is helping each other mentally and emotionally In a marriage we often fall into our roles of who does what. Many times, one person takes the lead on the kids and/ or the fostering relationships - whether w ..read more

Today we’re picking up our series on setting healthy boundaries with family and friends.  Setting boundaries can be one of the hardest things for people to do but one of the most important. The difference between walls, boundaries and healthy boundaries Why are healthy boundaries so important? Because your marriage is team #1 Protecting your mental, physical, and emotional well-being by protecting against unhealthy or toxic opinions, behaviors, speech Causes conflict and unhealth in you Worst of all, causes bad health in your home, including your kids Create disunity between the two of y ..read more

In part 1 of our series on setting healthy boundaries, we’re talking about (cue dramatic music) setting healthy boundaries with family and friends.  This can be one of the hardest things for people to do but one of the most important. We cover: The difference between walls, boundaries and healthy boundaries Why boundaries are so important to your marriage Protecting your mental, physical, and emotional well-being by protecting against unhealthy or toxic opinions, behaviors, speech How a lack of boundaries causes conflict and unhealth in you Worst of all, how a lack of boundaries causes b ..read more

We pick up where we left off last month on developing a mindset that will best serve you in your marriage and when you’re fostering. Understanding how we think is vitally important because our behavior, decisions, reactions and emotions all come from it Now let’s get back into some key mindset and character traits that have served us well.  1. Kindness (or jocund :)) Definition - the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. What holds us back? Defensiveness Feeling out of control / anger / impatience Victim mentality Selfishness Anticipating being attacked or actually bei ..read more